Merle and Beth Connect
by Athlete Girl
Summary: The evolution of Merle and Beth's romance. I do not own anything related to Walking Dead or Celtic Woman. New post: I refuse to stop developing Merle just because (SPOILER SPOILER) on the show. I guess this will be an Alternate Universe story now :)
1. Chapter 1

**HI, thanks for visiting! I'm having a great time with this one. Hope you enjoy it - major smut warnings. Please review!**

Awakening (Merle)

_Where the hell did THIS girl come from?_ Merle wondered. He was in the kitchen and had heard the singing coming from the cellblock. Maggie and Glenn were on watch, but everyone else was standing around listening to her sing. She was sitting on a blanket with that older one whose husband used to knock her around - the one his dumbass brother followed around everywhere. In fact Daryl was moonin over Carol now while she smiled at the girl. He craned his head to see the blond singing. _Voice of a fucking angel comin out of a slip of a girl. She can't weigh more than a buck twenty soakin wet_, _he thought_. Had she always been here? He had barely noticed her, probably because she always had the baby. Her hand was tapping the beat while she sang that sad ass song. _Yep, Herschel's daughter and just a teenager by the looks of it. _

He was distracted by movement. Rick and Daryl had moved to the cells and were talking low with Herschel. They all looked at him then Daryl looked at Officer Friendly and nodded. _Oh goodie, he thought, sounds like more good news comin my way. One day Officer Friendly was going to pay a hand for a hand, but all in good time. _He leaned back against the door and let the song clear his mind. _Good to hear music again, she's got good pipes. _ He turned his head to look at her heart shaped face lit up by the lanterns, at her big dark blue eyes and shiny gold hair pulled back into a ponytail. Some of her hair was loose and framed her face with soft curls. A gold necklace shined at her throat and small gold earrings dotted her ears. _Aint seen anythin that pretty in a long time he thought as she finished her song_. As if she heard him, she turned to him and smiled, still tappin the beat with her hand. He looked away - in his world best not to make attachments to nobody.

In the following days he began to notice her when she was feeding the baby, walking through the field to the watchtower, playing cards at the kitchen table with her sister or her pa. When she sang he found reasons to stick around until the songs were finished. Sometimes she'd stand in the courtyard with her face to the sun and her eyes closed, warming her skin. One night as he shut his eyes to sleep an image of her face lit up by those lanterns appeared. "No fucking way Dixon" he said out loud to himself. "Man in his forties got nothing to do with a little girl. I beat men half to death for less. Now get off it."

The next morning he grabbed breakfast, sitting with Daryl apart from the others. Daryl was reading him the riot act. "You need to keep your fucking nose clean here. You fuck something up and we're both gone" Daryl was saying. "That would break your heart, wouldn't it little brother? Havin to leave your wife". Daryl glared at him. "Fuck you Merle, they're serious. They aint takin chances especially with a baby here." Merle glared back, "I know the score little brother. Me and your best friend will settle our differences after we deal with Woodbury, don't worry." Daryl leaned forward and hissed "You need to drop all this shit Merle. It aint doin' nobody no good." They were interrupted by Beth entering the kitchen with Judith. She walked the baby over to Carol and said, "All fed! She drank a whole bottle". Carol smiled and took the baby for a walk around the kitchen. Beth looked up and her eyes met Merle's. She smiled and blushed, turning away to get her own breakfast. His heart gave an involuntary tug. "I'll take watch", he said abruptly, leaving the table.

That night he sat on his bunk polishing his arsenal of hand blades. _If I had my hand back then I could use both of them to strangle Office Friendly and the chinaman too, he thought, though I gotta give the chink credit for the balls he showed in Woodbury_. He was interrupted by a soft tap on his cell door. He looked up and his stomach dropped. Beth stood there timidly, a book in her hand. "Hi" she said shyly. "Am I bothering you?"

"Not at all little girl. You need me to take watch?" Merle replied. She came into the room and stood in front of him. "No, I came to give you something." She lightly sat beside him on the bed and smiled. In her hand was a small red bible, bound in leather. The leather was creased and worn. "My momma's bible. Daddy said you miss reading and we don't have any books here. So you can have it."

He looked at her. Her head was slightly tilted and her blue eyes shining. The charm on her necklace was small heart. He'd never gotten a close look before. "That's real nice missy but I can't take your mamas bible" he said. She blinked and said "Oh no, it's OK. I have another one she gave me, she wrote in that one." He looked down at the book in her hand. "Do you mind me askin' you why the hell you have two bibles?" he asked. She looked down. "Oh, well when the herd came through the farm, they're what I grabbed. Well, those and a gun. That's all I brought here." She straightened up and smiled into his eyes. "And now I'm giving this one to you. It might help you on your way. It helps me every day." She pressed the book into his left hand and stood up. "Thank you" he said. "Let me know if you want to study it together sometime" she smiled, and then she left. He looked at the book in his hand and flipped through the dog-eared pages. _At least it's somethin to read, he thought._

A few days later Beth and Merle were put on evening watch together. They stood on opposite sides of the watchtower, looking for breaches in the fence and keeping an eye on walker movement. There was no sign of vehicles on the road but they were attentive for any signs that the governor's crew was nearing. This was the first time they had been alone together and Beth tried repeatedly to make conversation, but Merle merely grunted back. After a few hours she said, "I guess you don't like me much". He looked at her in surprise; she was staring out of the window sadly. "What in the hell are you talkin about girly?" he barked. She shrugged and he cocked his head to get a better look. She was crying. Fuck, I'm stuck up here with a crying woman he thought. _Wonder if I'd make it if I jumped out?_

He sighed. "What gave you the idea that I don't like you?" he said accusingly. She shrugged again. "You don't want to talk to me," she said. "Hell, I don't talk to nobody" he rasped, louder than he meant to. She compressed her lips and fought the tears back. After a few minutes she took a breath and said, "I'm goin to check the gate. I'll be back". She went down the stairs and opened the door to the field. He watched her from the tower as she checked the inner gate and walked the front perimeter. He saw her stop, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. Then she squared her shoulders and came back into the tower. She silently took her place on her side of the room. "Everything clear?" he asked. "Yep" she said huskily.

Merle turned to his window. _Worthless fuckin redneck, he thought. Kickin a kid in the teeth, can't seem to get to hell fast enough._ Minutes passed. He kept his gaze on the field then he cleared his throat. "Military makes men out of boys." he started thoughtfully. "The ones that can't cut it get broke. I guess the ones that do cut it get fuckin broke too, just in a different way. They say they break ya down to build ya back up, but what they're really doing is turnin you into a machine - their machine. Trained to do and not ask questions. No conscience, no feelings. They first thing they beat out of you is feelings."

He glanced over at her, her back was to him but she was listening. "One day a local got past our lines - an Iraqi who had lost his house to a bomb. Whole town was scattered. His family was hidin nearby, he was trying to get some food. Someone was sleepin on watch and he got in. CO held a gun to the guys head to get the family out of the bushes, rounded them up 10 feet inside the line, pronounced them all trespassers, then shot them one by one in front of us. Wife, kids...We had to dig the holes to bury them in as punishment for screwing up the watch. As far as their family knows, they just disappeared." Merle paused and glanced back at Beth. She was looking over her shoulder at him, her face pale. He turned back to the window and said 'So I don't talk much on watch."

She looked down at the gate, watching the walkers mill around the fence. She thought the world had gone bad when the dead started walking around. Maybe she was wrong.

Fifteen minutes later Merle walked the perimeter and returned to his post in the tower, noting that Beth's chin was lifted and she was watching the line intently, affected by his story. He looked at her straight back and said softly, "Why don't you sing me somethin missy?" She thought for a moment. "Do you like Celtic Woman?" she asked. "I haven't met her but I'd probably buy her a drink" he said drily. She laughed, "This is 'The Last Rose of Summer. It's one of my favorites'". Beth's clear voice rose above the groans of the walkers:

'Tis the last rose of summer left blooming alone

All her lovely companions are faded and gone

No flower of her kindred, no rosebud is nigh

To reflect back her blushes and give sigh for sigh

I'll not leave thee, thou lone one, to pine on the stem

the lovely are sleeping, go sleep thou with them

Thus kindly I scatter thy leaves o'er the bed

Where thy mates of the garden lie scentless and dead

So soon may I follow when friendships decay

And from love's shining circle the gems drop away

When true hearts lie withered and fond ones are flown

Oh who would inhabit this bleak world alone?

This bleak world alone

She finished the song and look back over her shoulder at him, her hair flipped over her shoulder and a soft smile on her blushing face. "Was that OK?" she asked. Prettiest thing I heard in my life, he thought. The hair on the back of his neck rose and Merle Dixon knew that he was in serious shit.


	2. Chapter 2

Forgiveness

The following week started out well. Rick, Michonne and Carl returned from a run with a car packed with food, a baby crib and a stash of ammo. The remaining men repaired the outer gates to the field and burned the walker corpses. Everyone was feeling safer in the face of a possible Woodbury attack.

Beth smiled and blushed whenever she caught Merle looking at her, which he was trying like hell not to do. She seemed happier and sang more when everyone was together. One day she moved her lunch over to the table that he occupied alone and announced that she would keep him company. He told her jokes while she ate so he could see her laugh. Afterwards Daryl cornered him in the cellblock, menace in his eyes. "What the fuck's wrong with you little brother?" Merle said. Daryl put his finger in Merle's face. "Leave. Beth. Alone. Got it?"

"Ya got the wrong idea little bro, and yore about to part with that finger. She and I are just gettin to be friends." Merle said. Daryl snarled, "You aint got no friends Merle. Keep away from her." Merle wasn't the only one being noticed. Herschel knew his daughter and he saw the change in her whenever Merle was around. "Beth, whatever you're thinkin about that man, forget it. He's too old and he's bad for you." She kissed his face through his beard. "Daddy, we're just gettin to be friends. I'm treating him as I'd like to be treated. Isn't that the way you taught us? Everyone has some goodness in them?". Herschel regarded his beautiful child who was the image of her mother. "I've also told you that sometimes the serpent appears as the lamb", he warned.

Merle put in two back to back watches that day and didn't even remember tumbling into bed with his clothes and boots in the early morning. He woke up in the late afternoon, groggy and a little disoriented. Michonne and Carl had watch for the night so he spent the evening organizing the cell that they had designated as an armory. He took a stash to the watchtower and made sure that all the vehicles were armed in the motor pool. Rick called to him from the elevated walkway he was reinforcing and asked if he could take early morning watch. "Gotcha" Merle shouted back. He'd best get to bed soon.

He ate, cleaned up and retired to his cell. The rest of them were having some kind of secret meeting in the kitchen that he wasn't invited to. _Fuck 'em, he thought._ He heard a sound behind him and swiftly raised his gun. Beth stood in the doorway, her eyes huge. "Goddamn it missy, don't sneak up on a man!" he growled. "Sorry", she replied in a small voice. "I was putting the baby down". God she was pretty, and just a little thing. "What do you need?" he asked resignedly, suspecting that he wasn't going to bed as soon as he'd like. She shifted her weight unconsciously. "I thought of a verse that you might like. I was going to find it in momma's bible".

He handed her the book and sat down on his bed while she leafed through the scripture, finally putting her finger on a verse and turning to sit next to him. He hardly felt the thin mattress move when she sat down. "This one", she said. "Psalm 139. It's a story about David and how he knows that he must have faith because God has a plan for him. Even if David doesn't understand what's happening at the time, he has faith that God has made things happen this way for a reason. See?" She pointed at verse 16 and read from it. "...in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."

He pulled the book closer to him so he could read the passage. "And whachyou think this means for me sugar?" he said looking at her. She gazed at him, her eyes clear and guileless. "That all the bad things that happened to you have a reason. You just don't know it yet. You gotta trust that one day it will become clear and that you'll be a better person for it.' He snorted and looked back at the passage. "That's a tall order".

Their hands were holding the small book between them and she could feel the warmth of his leg. He smelled like soap. She looked at him as he bent his head to read the passage. A hard life was etched in the lines around his eyes. His face was rugged and covered with the stubble of a few days growth. She could hardly breathe, being so close to him. _I wonder what it feels like, that stubble? she thought _ She leaned over and softly pressed a kiss on his cheek, and when he turned to her in surprise pressed one on his lips. Next thing she knew she was on her feet and he was towering over her, his hand wrapped around her forearm like iron.

"What the HELL do you think you're doing?" He hissed at her in fury. "Do you know what will happen if somebody sees you doin' that? You tryin to get me shot?!" She gasped in fear and backed up to the opposite bunk, stammering "I just thought you might... like me. I mean, I know I'm not as pretty as Maggie but..."

His face was close, his eyes boring into hers. "Jesus Christ, you're just a fucking kid. I'm old enough to be your pa, who at the moment would have every right to cheerfully hang my nuts off the flagpole out there. You gotta forget about this missy. This never happened. Get out!"

Her face was flushed with humiliation and her eyes swam with tears. He saw that she was shaking and realized that he was hurting her wrist. He snorted with derision and let it go. "I'm sorry" she choked, running out of his room. Heard her sobbing in her bunk. Good riddance to that shit, he thought, furious at the pain in his heart. _Wasn't going to do neither of us no good. She don't need to get hung up on a fucked up loser like me, even if it was the apocalypse._

The next few days Merle volunteered for outside duties, coming in only to sleep and clean up. Carol brought him food when he didn't make it in for meals. _That one always got to be motherin somebody, he thought. Not that I'm mindin it right now, I don't want no part of that mess inside. _ The few times he saw Beth, she ducked her head and walked away. He heard that she had told the other women that she wasn't feeling well, probably a stomach bug. At night the absence of her singing pressed down on him. He knew he was the biggest fuckup on the planet. Better for her though, maybe she'll find someone who deserves her.

Eventually they were assigned daytime watch together. Beth stayed outside, continually walking the perimeter in her worn jeans and cowboy boots. She trailed her hand on the fence as she walked. He stayed in the tower as sharpshooter. He watched her walk the entire shift and when Maggie and Glen came to relieve them she disappeared into the compound. When he came in that evening she was sitting in the kitchen holding Judith, getting the baby to smile and coo. She buried her face in the babies stomach blew raspberries to make her laugh. Her face was flushed and her eyes sparkled when she looked up to see him there. Then he saw the hurt and shame hit her and she ducked her head to avoid his gaze. Her face blazed. He felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach. _He did this to his little girl. Jesus, what was he thinkin', 'his little girl'. If he wasn't careful he'd turn into a pussy like his little brother._

He was grateful to volunteer for a town run the next day. Carl had come down with bronchitis and they needed stronger antibiotics and an inhaler. Plus Maggie and Glen needed 'supplies' from the pharmacy. He and Glen got into town late the next morning and Merle covered him while Glen went through the shelves, eventually finding the drugs that Herschel wanted. The walkers were light, so this gave Merle plenty of time to look around and even to pick some small things for himself. As he exited he looked at a display that had been knocked over. He picked something up off the floor and put it in his pocket.

They returned without incident that afternoon. Beth had had a long day with the baby, who had been fussy and wouldn't nap. She was looking forward to going to sleep. That night she climbed into her bed in the dark, whispering goodnight to Carol in the bunk below. As she settled in she felt something hard in the bed. She turned on her flashlight and lifted the blanket - and found a bottle of pale pink nail polish.

The next morning, Carol smelled something familiar and peeked her head into Beth's bunk. Beth was humming to herself and painting her toenails. "Nail polish!", said Carol. "I forgot that even existed!". Beth smiled. "Would you like some Carol?". Carol shook her head, "No sweetie, it would be wasted on me. My hands are always in water. Where did you get it?" "I've had it for a while" Beth lied, knowing that Merle had brought it for her. "It just seemed that today is a sunny day and if I keep it around forever it will dry up, so why not?" Carol smiled at her, rubbed Beth's foot fondly and left to get breakfast together. Beth could always make her smile.

That evening at dinner Beth drew a deep breath, put her plate on the table across from Merle and sat down. His eyes flickered to her pink fingernails and one corner of his mouth turned up in a brief smile. She looked at him, his eyes were guarded. "Thank you" she said, spearing a canned potato on her fork. "I don't wanna see you cry no more, ya hear?" he said, and she nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

Redemption

Late the next week Carol begged off of watch to take care of Judith, who was colicky. Beth needed to get away from the baby for a while and volunteered to take her place. She found herself with Merle. They took turns patrolling the perimeter hourly. She hummed tunes, happy to have him to herself and stealing glances at his broad back when she thought he wasn't looking. She wondered what he looked like without clothes, what he'd feel like on top of her. Once he caught her stare and she blushed, turning back to the window. When either of them left to roam, his eyes shifted towards her. _Sweet hips and ass, he thought. And jailbait on top of it. Dixon, don't even think about it._

Merle noticed walker activity near the hole in the fence that Glen had patched when they first took the prison. "Ahm goin down there to check that out", he rasped. "Cover me." She stepped out onto the lookout and trained her gun at the patched area. She watched as Merle entered and closed the inner fence, then walked towards the patch in the outer fence. She peered through the gun sight and saw that there was a breach high in the patch and one of the walkers had got their shoulder in it and another one was working his arm through.

Merle picked up a fencing wire from the ground and shoved it in his pocket to use as a temporary patch. Take these fuckers out, he thought, then twist this through there and it should hold til morning. A few more walkers wandered over to check out his smell. They got excited as they got nearer. Merle used his arm blade to take out the one with its arm in the fence then drew back and sank the blade in the eye of the other walker. Just then the others reached the breach and began to tear at the fence. The weight of the two dead walkers pulled the broken piece of fence and it bent, not to the inside where Merle could have pushed against it, but to the outside. As more piled in, a second patch snapped. Now a 3-foot section of fence was bent outward and he'd have to reach through the pile of 'em to pull it back. He grabbed his gun - time to spray brains, he thought. He pressed the trigger and it didn't budge. Jammed. He removed the clip and put it back in. Still fucking jammed. Whoever cleaned this gun last I'm gonna kick their ass, he thought. He pulled out his pistol and emptied the clip into the crowd.

Beth saw the predicament from the tower but couldn't get a walker in her sight without taking a chance of hitting Merle. She raced down the steps and ran to help him, making sure to close the inner gate. By the time she got there twelve walkers were hanging on the bent section of fence, and Merle was trying to hold onto the fencing while stabbing walkers with his other arm. He wasn't keeping up. She yelled "Watch out", and squeezed off the rounds in her clip, taking out about 8 of them. She looked up. A whole squadron of walkers approached, attracted by the noise. There was no way one rifle would take them all. They had to fix the fence. And it was only a matter of time before those walkers figured out that the hand Merle was using to prevent the fence from falling further was food.

"Go get Rick" he growled, furiously stabbing walkers. "There's no time", she said. By the time she got to the watchtower they'd have Merle down. _Think Beth. Well, I don't weigh as much as any of them, she reasoned._ She put in a new clip and used it to spray the walkers in the hole then ran up to the breach next to Merle. She used the barrel of her gun to start pushing the dead walkers back off the fence section. "Help me" she said and Merle pushed against the dead corpses, lifting them enough for her to squeeze her arm underneath them. "What the fuck you doing?" yelled Merle. She dropped her gun and jumped, her belly on the buckled section of fence, her upper body buried under the dead walkers. She felt around for the end of the fence. Can she get her fingers around it? She wriggled a little more and caught it. She felt cold fingers pulling at her exposed pants and could hear Merle yelling. The fingers were pulling her outside, shifting her balance. She fought against falling through the hole and pulled the fence towards her with everything she had. Please bend towards me, please bend, she thought. She felt her hair being pulled and heard jaws snap near her ear. She screamed.

She felt a warm hand slap down on her waistband and she was jerked back through the hole. The free end of the fence was in her hand. Merle grabbed it from her and aligned it with the hole, and she threaded her gun barrel through the links to hold it while he could make a patch. He was yelling but she couldn't hear what he was saying. She scurried to grab some wire near the inner fence and brought it to him so he could mend the fence properly. She used the barrel of her gun to hold the seams in place where he needed it and he put about 6 patches in where there had only been three. They stood, watching the walkers test the breach - it didn't move.

She picked up their guns and headed towards the watchtower. As she went up the stairs Merle caught up, picked her up by the back of the shirt and threw her in. "I said are you OK? What the fuck was that out there? Jesus Christ!" he shouted at her. He was pouring water bottles over her face and shoulders and scrubbing her roughly with a towel. He dragged her under a light, looking for bleeding. "I think I'm OK" she said shakily, the shock setting in. The room started feeling really close and she felt a little dizzy.

"Where the fuck is all this blood coming from?" Merle barked. "Please stop yelling" she said faintly. He jerked her ponytail holder to the side and inspected her scalp with one hand. "Clump a hair pulled out, not a bite", he murmured to himself. He looked down the front and back of her shirt, glanced quickly over her arms. "Here it is", he said. She looked at the fingers of her right hand - three of the nails were torn off. He doused her hand with water to clean it off. She looked at her hand and slowly sunk to the floor. "I don't feel well", she said.

He looked through the window - the walkers had largely moved away from the breach and were milling aimlessly again. He sat down on the floor with her, holding her wounded hand and poured more water over it. He was telling her that it would hurt for a little while when he looked up and saw that her face had dissolved into tears. "Aw, little girl", he sighed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her as she sobbed. His arms tightened. "I thought I was gonna lose you through that hole", he said gruffly. "Dontcha try anything like that again." She sobbed harder. The enormity of it hit him - she had almost died, there on his watch, and the thought of losing her was like a knife in his guts.

He held her as her sobs died down. She hiccupped and laid her cheek on his shoulder, taking in deep breaths of fresh air. "I can't wear my nail polish now", her voice quavered. He chuckled, "They'll grow back before you know it. Then you can wear it everyday." She turned her face back into his shoulder and began to cry again, softly and as if her heart was slowly breaking. "I thought I was going to lose you," she said hoarsely. "I can't lose you. I'm in love you and even if you don't love me... if something happens to you I don't have much left. I know you don't want to hear it but there's a lot of things I wished I said to the people I lost". She picked herself up off his shoulder and sniffled, "I'm not living another day where I don't tell people what they mean to me."

His teeth clenched and his eyes closed. "Why ya doin this little girl? It aint a matter of us NOT feelin a certain way, it's a matter of we CAINT."

She sat back on her heels and regarded him solemnly, then turned her palms up, extending her hands toward him. He looked down, seeing for the first time the puffy pink scars that scored her wrists. His eyes bored into hers. "What the hell is that?" he asked throatily. She regarded him with solemn eyes. "I did it. Back at the farm." She paused while he looked at the scars. "I lost my way. I lost God. Maggie and Lori stopped me and I didn't understand why. Daddy told me that some day I'd know...I'd know why I lost my way." She paused, looking at him steadily. 'You were lost too before you came here, and now we're here together. There's a reason for that."

He sighed. "Missy, I'm too old for you and I aint a good man. Ya gotta get off it." She continued to hold his gaze, a hint of anger in her eyes. She snapped, "I'm 17, probably 18 by now. I'm a woman. How many people have I seen die? Do you think I'm still a kid? Do you know how many graves I've dug?". She paused to search his eyes and took a calming breath. "I've talked to God and He knows you're a good man. God's told me that this is my way and yours. I know this is right."

"So you got a direct phone line to God now?" he growled, "Listen Missy, you got no idea the things I done. Theys places in Hell too good for the likes of me. I sold my soul a long time ago and got change back." She gazed at him unflinchingly. Slowly she moved her hands down to his forearms and slid them towards his wrists. When she touched the metal of his right arm he snarled, "Stop." She paused, keeping her fingers light on him. "No" she said stubbornly. "Take it off". "No" he rasped. She interlaced the fingers of her right hand with is left. "Then I'll take it off." She grasped the metal around his right wrist with her left hand and gently began to pull.

"That aint gonna do it" he spat defensively. "Then you do it", she said softly, resting her hands in her lap. Rage roared into his head and he saw her through a haze of red. "Fuckin A missy, you want to see it?" he sneered. Here it is." He leaned forward, deftly twisted the metal sheath off with his left hand and glaring with fury into her face.

His wrist terminated in a ragged stump, it obviously had been infected for some time before it healed. The pain must have been unimaginable. Beth rose slightly and put her hands on his forearms, haltingly moved them down to his wrists. She didn't flinch when she reached the stump. She bent her golden head and softly kissed his right arm, working her way from the crook of his elbow to the scarred wrist. His breathing was ragged and his shoulders twitched. He wanted to throw her across the room, push her away.

She put her hands on the tops of his legs and rose up hesitantly, her slim hips flanked by his thighs, her eyes never breaking contact with his. Soft strands of hair had pulled from her ponytail and framed her face. _Didn't he see that she was giving herself to him?_ She slowly drew her lips to the side of his face, kissing the skin gently as if he would break. She tilted her head and slowly moved it to the other cheek, her touch feather light. Underneath her hands he felt like a coiled spring.

Finally she rose to his mouth, her lips softly parted and her hands moving to his waist. She kissed him softly, searchingly. She felt his breath catch and suddenly she was reclined back over his leg with his arms binding her, his mouth breaking her, crushing her. She fought the impulse to fight back and instead yielded, opening her mouth to him, letting his tongue plunder her. She felt his rage and absorbed it, anything to save him from it. His mouth was punishing her, hurting her, and when she melted into it he grasped her hair. She shuddered and raised her small hands to his chest, one covering his heart.

His breathing was labored and his head spun with aggression and pain, this little thing in his arms the source of his turmoil. His chest was tight, threatening to explode. He poured his vitriol into her, wanting her to taste it, to hate him, to drive him away for good. To sever this connection he never asked for. _Just like he'd severed his fucking hand._

Beth's hand slowly moved up to stroke his rigid throat, then to the short hair on the back of his head. He wanted her to fight, to scratch, to hit him, to run away in fright, to return his cruelty and spurn him. Instead, she gently caressed the side of his face with her palm, and slowly stroked the side of his neck. She shifted slightly so that her body faced his, and moved her hand to his jaw, stroking it lovingly with her thumb. With a burst of pain his tension erupted, flowing through his chest, through his mouth, through her. His eyes prickled and his chest loosened, he sobbed for air. Only then did he realize how hard he was gripping her. He loosened his arms but her hand remained on his face and she kissed him softly and deeply. They were both panting when they parted. Her hair was tousled and her cheeks were flushed, her eyes filled with tenderness. _An angel. His angel_. He knew he's never let her go.

Turns out salvation comes in small packages.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the encouraging reviews! I think you'll like this one!**

Awakening (Beth)

It was late at night and the snores of exhausted people filled the cellblock. Everyone had put in a long day prepping the compound for attack, several of them nodding off at the dinner table. Merle and Daryl came in from watch and Rick and Michonne went out. "Sweet dreams Darlene", said Merle as Daryl headed towards the stairs. "Go fuck yourself" Daryl replied, climbing the stairs and falling into the bunk that he often shared with Carol. Luckily she was there tonight and soon Daryl's breathing joined the others.

Beth had told Merle that she would meet him in his cell after Judith's nightly feeding. Soon after he had washed up he heard the baby fuss and Beth get up to change and feed her. She burped and rocked the baby, who blessedly returned to sleep.

Beth slipped into his cell, eyes gleaming in anticipation. He was sitting on a chair near the sink with is shirt off, relacing his boots by lantern light. "Hey sweet thang", he said quietly. She loved the way he talked to her in his scratchy voice. She smiled at him. "Come on over here" he said, putting the boot down and patting his leg.

She slid onto his lap, easing her back against his chest and resting her head between his shoulder and his neck. She felt the bristles of his beard softly rub the side of her face. His strong arms were wrapped around her midsection and chest, holding her tightly. She turned her head to press her lips to his, dissolving in his kiss. He kissed her gently, not wanting to hurt her like he did the other night. He buried his face into her ponytail then placed his lips in the hollow behind her ear.

"Now we're going to take this slow and we gotta be quiet little girl", he murmured in her ear. "Right now we just talkin so there's no reason to get wound up." His left thumb stroked her upper arm and he held her close until she relaxed. Merle leaned back a bit in the chair, rounding his back to cradle her and to relax his own tense muscles. He thought back to the other night when they had kissed - she said she wanted to be all his, and that she wanted him to 'make her a woman'. _And she wouldn't hear no arguments against it._

"OK", he rasped softly. "I want you to answer me honest. Aint none of this gonna work unless we're honest. No gettin embarrassed. Ya got that?" Her chin bobbed slowly in affirmation. "Yer dead set on havin sex with me. Ya know how it all works baby girl?" She nodded her head and whispered "I grew up on a farm, I seen a lot of it with the animals". _That's one down, he thought._ He rubbed his chin on her shoulder. "So you seen it, but you aint never done it?". She looked down and shook her head slowly no.

_Fuck._ He tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear. "Do you know that it will hurt the first time?" he asked softly. She turned her head slightly towards his voice and said 'Yeah. Maggie told me it hurt a lot."

He sighed. "I don't want to hurt you", he said. "Couldn't forgive myself if I did". She thought for a moment, then said "Maggie said that after it hurts it feels good, like nothing else. I want to feel that. Only with you." she said firmly, lifting her head and looking him resolutely in the eye. He looked her face and sighed. _She was hell bent on this_.

"You got any birth control?" he asked. She shook her head again. "WelI I aint got none neither", he said, "and your sister Maggie shore aint gonna loan us any. That means we aint doin this until I can make a run into town and get condoms."

"Oh" said Beth, crestfallen. She looked at the floor and her shoulders sagged. She was sitting on the one thing she wanted most in this world and couldn't have it. It was like a cruel joke.

"Hey little girl, don't you fret", he said softly. "Theys other things we can do in the meantime. You trust old Merle." She looked up hopefully. "Like what?" He shifted her so she was sitting diagonally on his lap, where he could easily see her face. _God never made nothin so beautiful, he thought._

"Did Maggie tell you how a man can make a woman feel good? Better than she ever felt?" Her deep blue eyes met his and she nodded. _Good for Maggie, he thought._ "Alright. Has anyone ever touched you down there?" She lifted her chin and said, "Jimmy tried once and I slapped him!" Merle grinned. "You gonna slap me?" he asked. She smiled and shook her head, laughing in her mind. She couldn't imagine anyone slapping Merle and living to tell about it.

He returned to nuzzling her shoulder. "You ever touch yourself down there, make yourself feel good?" he murmured. Her chin dropped but she kept her gaze on him as she nodded her head yes. "The kinda good where you just wanna keep doin' it for a while, or the kinda good where you jest been on a roller coaster and have ta set down a spell?" She shifted in his lab. "The first one I guess".

_Shit, she don't know nothin, he thought._ "Here's what we're going to do until I can get to town. We're going to get you used to touchin and bein touched. That sound all right to you?" She smiled and nodded, putting her arm around his neck and placing a soft kiss on his mouth. He kissed her softly back then tilted her back a few inches and deepened his kiss, gently introducing his tongue to hers. "Get in bed angel, time for your first lesson." he said when their mouths parted. He raised her up off his lap and she sat on the edge of his bed. He repositioned his swollen cock in his pants - _Damn it got hot in here all the sudden._

He scooted her towards the wall and rested on his back, taking most of the small bed. She lay beside him with her head on her elbow. "Can we kiss?" she asked hopefully. "All night long", he said, putting his metal arm behind her shoulders and drawing her to him. They kissed for what seemed forever, her gradually learning to accept his tongue and to give him her own as his arm slowly rubbed her back. She pressed her thighs together - she felt moist and slippery down there and it felt so good to rub her legs against the center of sensation.

She moved her hands over his chest, marveling at the hardness of his muscles and the softness of his greying fuzz and sunbeaten skin. She interrupted their kissing to gently rub her face on his chest, breathing him in. She'd never smelled anything like him before, warm and pungent and a little acrid. She laid her head on his chest and softly pulled at his chest hair with her fingers while listening to his heartbeat, then traced his jaw and chin with her finger. She lightly traced his nipples and his tattoo and moved down to trace his navel. Last she traced his belt buckle and zipper then stopped, unsure of what to do. She looked up at him to read his face.

Merle watched her as she explored him. "Yer makin me crazy baby girl" he said huskily. She smiled as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his fly for relief, then lay back again using his arm as a pillow. She rested her head in the hollow of his shoulder and pressed her body close to his, her hand on his stomach. Her hand moved timidly down, first touching the fly of his pants, then the waistband of his underwear. He swallowed hard and when her hand lightly touched the bulging underwear he grunted in frustration. She quickly looked at his face and moved her hand back to his stomach, unsure of how to continue.

He gazed at her intently as he covered her hand and guided it back down to the bulge, kneading it firmly. "I don't want to hurt you", she whispered to him. "You aint gonna hurt me", he replied and guided her hand underneath the fabric to his rigid cock. She gave a start. "It's hot!" She gasped. "Missy, you got no idea", he growled.

"If we're going to get through tonight we need to take care of this right now" he said, pulling his underwear down and guiding her hand up and down his shaft until cock swelled and his body jerked. "Jesus Fucking H Christ", he growled as the ejaculate sprayed her hand and his stomach. "That's hot too", she said in awe as she wiped the cum off of her hand onto the blanket. He groaned. If a hand job could do this to him, he would drill her right through the wall once he got them condoms.

She was sitting propped up with a straight arm on the edge of the bed. He sat up as best he could to free his left arm and brushed her hair back. "You lay down" he gestured to where he had been resting. She crawled over and flipped onto her back, her head on the pillow. He positioned himself on his right side so his left hand was free, his right arm behind her head.

While they kissed, he caressed her shoulder, moving his rough hand down her arm, intertwining her fingers in his and raising her arm to rest on the pillow behind her head. He continued to kiss her as he released her hand slowly and moved down to stroke her body over her shirt, the right breast, down over her stomach, then her left breast. She sighed into his kiss and lay motionless as his warm hand stroked her.

He desperately wanted to rip off that goddamned shirt but figured it was best not to spook her, so he concentrated on lightly massaging her breasts while working his tongue slowly around her mouth. Her hands haltingly roamed over his back and shoulders, neck, through his short hair. He trailed his lips across her cheek and paused to lick and suck gently at her neck before taking the collar of her shirt into his teeth and pulling it open as far as the buttons would allow. He shifted his weight to work his mouth from the hollow of her neck to her exposed chest.

It's so odd to see a man's head and broad shoulders there, she thought. it reminded her of a baby at the breast. How am I supposed to enjoy this?!, she panicked, fighting the urge to push him away. She stared at the bunk above her head and reminded herself that this was Merle and she had asked him to do this and she wasn't going to turn back. Merle buried his face in her shirt and began to mouth her small breasts through her shirt and bra. He located the hard bud of a nipple and gently bit through the fabric, sucking and nibbling. He located the other nipple and pinched it softly between his fingers.

Beth's breathing shallowed - what was he doing and how could it possibly feel so good? She lay still, afraid that if she moved he would stop. She closed her eyes, and his mouth and hand became her universe. Soon her hips were unconsciously moving, the heat in her most private of places almost impossible to bear. He nuzzled her nipples and moved down, lifting her shirt to expose her light belly and chained together a string of kisses to the waistband of her jeans. A woman never smelled so damned good he thought, God what I'd do for just a taste.

He raised he head to kiss her lightly on the mouth. "You OK MIssy?" he rumbled. Her eyes opened to look at him and she slowly nodded. He moved his hand across her breasts, over her stomach, and along the zipper of her jeans, sliding his hand between knees then slowly slid it up between her thighs, pushing gently against her crotch when he reached the apex.

She kept her legs together so he went slowly, eyes on her face as he massaged her thighs, mound and crotch. She parted her lips, her eyes closed. He nudged her thighs apart slightly creating a couple inches of space, and concentrated on gently rubbing the warm spot in the crotch of her jeans.

Beth was lost in sensation - she had touched herself before but it was never like this. Soon his mouth moved to where his hand had been rubbing and he began to gently chew at the fabric of her jeans, softly pulling the hair underneath. _Jesus Christ she smelled like heaven._ He was hard again.

She trembled and furiously wanted something but she didn't know what. He hooked his shoulder under her knee and pushed her leg up to open her further, and that's when she tensed. Years of fiery Baptist sermons had taught her that showing yourself to a man was evil and her response was automatic.

He put her leg back down and rubbed the top of her thigh, shushing her. He slid towards her, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his chest. He held her tight and she buried her face in his neck. "Your first lesson went pretty good little girl" he whispered.

She opened her eyes. "It's over?" she whispered. It seemed like they had just started. He chuckled deep in his throat. "Peoples gonna be up soon sugar, it's almost dawn and you got to get to bed before Rick comes in from watch, or there'll be hell to pay. Especially with them wet spots on your shirt", he smiled.

She blushed and rolled toward him, lifted her arms around his neck and slid the length of her body against him. She didn't want to go. He gave her a bear hug and a long kiss, enjoying the feel of her body against his. "Now go on back to your room", he said, "I've got watch in a couple hours."

**So what do you think readers - should Beth have another lesson?**


	5. Chapter 5

**BETH'S NEXT LESSON!**

Continuing Education

It seemed like forever but it was only days before their next chance. Something had happened between Daryl and Carol, so Carol was sleeping back in her own bunk while Daryl and Merle took consecutive night watches. Beth slept in her own bunk those nights, listening to Carol softly cry in the bed below and yearned for her next lesson. She touched herself but was frustrated to realize that it felt nothing like Merle's teeth gently nipping her through her pants.

In the mornings after the watch changed she would hesitate in front of Merle's cell, hearing him snore and wishing she could crawl into the warmth of his bed. In the afternoons he would catch her eye and wink, and on the rare occasions when no one was looking he made sure to brush his body against hers when he walked by, making her tingle. Thankfully Carol and Daryl soon patched things up and let Mishonne and Carl take a night watch while a perpetually exhausted Rick slept in his room with Judith. Merle had caught her in the hallway that afternoon. "We got a date tonight girlie?" he asked, grinning like a wolf. She blushed and nodded and was so excited she could barely eat dinner.

When she was sure everyone was asleep, she padded to his room in bare feet. He was awake and shirtless, waiting for her in the dark. He had hung a blanket off the end of the top bunk so it blocked off the corner of the room. Carefully he tipped a lit flashlight against the wall between the head of the bed and sink, and smiled when he observed that the blanket blocked the soft light in the corner from the outside of the cell.

He pulled her into the small space, pushed her against the wall and kissed her until she was panting. He stood in front of her, his chest inches from her face. He bent his head and put his cheek on hers. He assessed her sleeveless button-up shirt, weren't no way he was going to get that open gracefully with one hand. "Take off that shirt", he rasped softly in her ear. She slowly undid the buttons and dropped her shirt over the sink, returning her gaze to his. "Get them pants off too," he said. She pulled her head slightly away and looked up at him. He moved his face closer to hers to close the lost space. "I aint gonna do nothing you don't want", he whispered to comfort her.

She unbuttoned her jeans and stepped out of them, her head spinning with confusion. She wanted him so bad but when it came to anything below the belt she just automatically tensed up, she couldn't help it. Was she ever going to learn how to do it? When she stood up she put her hands on his chest because she didn't know what to do with them. Truth be told, his bare chest was one of her favorite places to put her hands.

Merle leaned in to breathe on her neck and softly kiss his way to her shoulder. His mouth moved to the front of her chest and he felt her hammering heart underneath. Her skin was pale and velvety. He lifted his left arm and gently pulled her tattered bra strap over her shoulder then used his teeth to do the other one, and kissed his way between her breasts. He nudged the cups away from her skin and inhaled her soft scent. He stepped back to take a look at the angel that had seduced him, and for the first time in his life, Merle Dixon was speechless.

The image burned into his brain so that for months afterwards he saw it when he closed his eyes. Her heart shaped face was turned up to him, her chin tilted up to show the graceful lines of her neck, her clear eyes searching his in anticipation. Her pulse fluttered softly at her throat and the hair that had pulled from her ponytail curled and touched her shoulders. He brushed it back over her shoulder and used a single finger to trace her collarbone.

Her shoulders were straight and her slim arms ended in fine hands that instinctively clutched at the fallen cups of her bra. Apple-shaped breasts rose from her chest, the pale pink nipples gently upturned. With his finger he followed the soft line of her stomach down to her panties, tracing the faint swell of her hip. _I aint even seen pictures pretty as this, he thought. Maybe she really is an angel._ His eyes were dark and unreadable and she moved her head back with a nervous expression, interpreting his reaction as disapproval.

Merle snapped his head up to read her expression and guessed what she was thinking. He pulled her toward him and held her eyes. "You the most beautiful thing I ever seen," he said hoarsely, his eyes raked hers. She smiled up at him "Really?" she whispered. "Missy, I never meant nothin more in my whole life", he said. He looked down at her supple breasts. "In fact, that set may just kill ole Merle. My pants are fixin to split down the front."

He unzipped his fly and shoved his pants to his knees, then guided her hand to grasp the throbbing cause of his discomfort. In seconds it was over, his seed spattered over her stomach and the front of her panties. He muffled his groans in her neck and leaned against her, temporarily drained. When he caught his breath he pushed away from her, wiped his fingers across one of the blobs on her stomach and slowly put it in her mouth.

"This is what I taste like," he said, still puffing. He watched her reaction closely. Her eyes rounded but she accepted it, wrinkling her nose at the taste. He chuckled softly, "You'll like it soon enough," he promised. He rezipped his pants gingerly. _Rather leave 'em off, he thought, but best to take it slow with this one. Once junior's loose it's all over._

He peered past the blanket to make sure there was no one moving around in the cellblock, then turned to her and said "Get rid of that", nodding at her bra. Beth took it off and he turned out the light, pushing her to the bed. He followed her in and propped on his right arm. His eyes adjusted to the dark and he could see she was looking at his face.

He bent down to kiss her, stroking her back and sides, then to her breasts, which were absolutely as perfect as they seemed. He swirled his tongue around her nipples and took the hardened buds into his mouth. _Fuck they taste good, he thought_. She had relaxed and her eyes were closed, her lips parted in a soft 'Oh'. "Like that little girl?", he whispered huskily. She nodded her head slowly and unconsciously moved her hips against him. When he sucked her nipples a deep yearning chewed at her belly and she didn't know what to do about it but she didn't want it to stop.

He caught her wrist and her eyes opened. He moved her hand down to the front of her panties. "Show me where you touch yourself," he murmured. She moved her hand hesitantly over the top of her panties to her sex. She paused to glance at him, bit her lip, then closed her eyes and slowly began moving her fingers against it.

He returned his mouth to her breasts, teasing and sucking until she relaxed and her movements became less forced. He trailed his lips over her smooth stomach and made his way to her stroking fingers. Her smell overtook him and he fought the urge to eat her panties. He humphed softly into her navel, frustrated that his cock was painfully engorged again.

He nudged her hand away with his head and mouthed the patch of soft hair through her panties. He breathed her in and thought he would go insane with her scent. He moved down to where her fingers had been and mouthed her clit through her panties. She sucked in her breath and trembled, partly from excitement and partly from fear. His hand squeezed her soft hip as he continued slowly to excite her, gradually nudging her thighs farther apart.

Merle pulled the crotch of her moist panties aside and buried his tongue into her. _Jesus she's like candy, he thought._ He forced himself to move slowly and gently explored her. Soon her legs were shaking and her hands fluttered over her own body and his head and shoulders. She knew she wanted something that she didn't yet have the experience to define. She fought herself, unknowingly alternating between relaxing her legs to enjoy his ministrations and pressing them against his shoulders to fight his invasion.

He slid a blunt finger gently inside her until he met resistance. Beth gasped when he touched her tightness, torn between pleasure and discomfort. Beyond that gate lies heaven, he thought. He never wanted anything so bad as to plunge into the tightness and he fought the urge mightily. He withdrew his finger and moved up to stroke it across her lips, and when they opened, eased it in her willing mouth. "This is what you taste like." he whispered hoarsely. She sucked on his finger with her eyes still closed, enjoying the salty taste. "Soons as I pop that cherry you'll taste us together and you'll like it better than peach pie. I promise." She sighed.

He slid his powerful body up between her legs so that his arms flanked hers and his hardness pressed against her. He was panting with the exertion of self-control. He humped her slowly through his jeans and her panties, his hips moving in a circular motion and his mouth nipping up and down her neck. Soon his mouth found hers and he kissed her forcefully, pushing her back onto the bed and pressing her down with his weight.

Her hands moved across his back, feeling the play of his muscles and savoring the sensation of her breasts moving against his bare chest. She liked the feeling of his weight on her and had begun to respond to his gyrations, experimentally moving her hips with his own and relaxing her thighs. Her legs opened further and his head dropped to her shoulder as he gave a final push.

And Merle Dixon, the biggest meanest son of a bitch in the state of Georgia, came in his pants like a 12 year old.

**UP AHEAD: I THINK THERE MAY BE SOME CONFLICT, THEN FINALLY A RUN TO TOWN. WHAT DO YOU THINK REVIEWERS? SHOULD BETH'S EDUCATION CONTINUE? OR IS SHE REALLY THE ONE SCHOOLING MERLE?**


	6. Chapter 6

**I know y'all want another lesson...this is an important one of a different type.**

Merle's Bad Day

"Don't matter how ya look at it, these people aint prepared. What they gonna do if those men invade while we're in Woodbury?" Merle insisted. Everyone was grouped in the kitchen for a post-breakfast meeting to discuss the possibility of attacking Woodbury. This plan of action would require that Beth, Hershel, Carol and Carl hold the prison.

"I'll give it to ya that short stack here can handle a gun", Merle said, nodding at Carl. Then he looked at Carol. "But what the fuck is she gonna do if we get invaded, kill em with poison soup?" he asked. Daryl rose off his seat and into Merle's face. "She can handle herself Merle", spat Daryl. "She spent three days in the tombs by herself, and I seen her kill walkers with a gun and a knife. She don't need no help from you."

"Awright little brother, sorry I forgot yous sensitive about wifey there," rasped Merle with his hands up ignoring the glares of both Daryl and Carol. His eyes turned the side of the room where Beth, Maggie and Hershel sat. "And what about them?" he asked with a tilt of his head. "Old Macdonald there can shoot but he sure aint gonna be runnin nowheres. And little miss - I've seen her shoot and I don't want to be in the same county as her when she's got a gun." Beth's expression didn't change as she looked at Merle. It hurt but he was right and their lives were at stake.

Rick assessed the room. "If the prison comes under attack we need Hershel in the fenced walkway so he's got elevation and doesn't have to move. We've reinforced it so it's largely protected. Carl and Carol will be in the tower for distance shooting, they'll bed down in there with food and supplies while we're gone. And Beth...", voice trailed off and he swallowed. "Beth will be watching the baby." he finished. Merle looked at Rick with hard eyes. "Aint gonna be no baby if them guys get through," he said.

A gloomy silence descended on the group. Merle was harsh but he was smart and there was no good argument against him. Beth swallowed. She stood up and looked across the room at Merle, her chin raised and her eyes calm. "So teach me", she said levelly. The others turned to look at her. They had all babied her because...well, she had always been babied. No one had expected her to do much until Judith came and they needed a teenage babysitter.

"I never held a gun until dead people started walking around, and no one's had time to really show me", she continued. Hershel looked at the floor. He had always gone shooting with Maggie - Beth had just never seemed like the type. No one else in the room could remember a time where they offered to show Beth how to shoot - they had all just assumed she knew and was bad at it. Merle appraised her with unreadable eyes.

Rick stood up and nervously walked towards the door. His eyes started to wander the way that they did when he thought he saw visions of Lori. "Don't have time...", Rick mumbled, and he ducked out to the prison yard. The group watched him go. Daryl stood up and said briskly, "I'll take Carol out hunting, that will be enough for her to brush up". Carol smiled at him gratefully and they ducked into the cellblock for gear.

Carl looked around at the remaining group then at Merle. "I'll come", he said with a curious smile. Merle looked around jovially and slapped his legs. "Well. Anybody else interested in Artillery 101 with Merle today?" There were no other takers.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDT WDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Merle scanned their armory stash. He had seen Beth arm herself before and she rarely paid attention to the gun she grabbed when she went off to the tower. The majority of the weapons they had were high-powered police rifles - heavy even for a man to carry around all day especially if he were exhausted and malnourished like them. Today he could give her a different kind of lesson in public and show her somethin that could save her life.

He spent the rest of the morning preparing for shooting practice then rounded Beth and Carl up. "Y'all ready?" he asked. They both nodded and followed him to the armory. "Are they going to be OK?" said Maggie to Glen nervously. Hershel spoke up. "Merle's got military experience and he's proved himself to be a survivor. He wouldn't hurt either of those two. We'll all be walking past them at some point during the day and we can check in."

Merle crossed his arms in the doorway. Because he planned on working with weapons he chose not to wear his arm blade. "Y'all pick your weapons. Minimum one firearm and a secondary weapon of your choice that you carry on your person," he ordered. Carl tipped his sheriff's hat up and looked up at him. "I'm keepin my pistol", he said. "Fine by me", answered Merle. _Tough kid, hope he makes it, he thought._ Carl chose a smaller, lighter pistol as his secondary, loaded it and shoved it in the back of his pants. He put extra loaded clips in his back pockets.

Merle turned to look at Beth. She had grabbed a police rifle and slung it over her shoulder. A hatchet dangled from her belt loop. "You got extra ammo?" Merle asked. She looked at the piles of artillery. "No", she answered. "I don't know what kind goes with which gun". Carl rolled his eyes. Merle glared at him. "You know which ammo goes with this gun?" he asked Carl, randomly picking up a weapon. Carl shifted. "No. But I know what goes in my gun". Merle looked at both of them. "How much is that goin to fuckin help you two if you lose your primary weapon and this pile gets mixed up?" he growled. The both looked at him silently.

They spent the next two hours sorting weapons in the armory, Merle barked out orders for them to scramble then reorganize the piles so the right shells were with the right guns. He had them practice loading and unloading, ensuring that they could choose and load a weapon in the dark if they had to. Hershel peeked into the cell from time to time as he tended the baby. He had to admit that Merle seemed to have it well in hand.

They grabbed bags of ammo, ate granola bars for lunch and proceeded to the prison yard. Merle had targets set up on the side of the fence that bordered open country and they practiced different distances and stances. "None of this means shit", he finally told both of them when they finished. "A target don't move. Now you gonna get some real practice." He picked up several metal garbage cans. "Two ways you can do this. Follow the moving object and fire, or keep your sight steady on the place you think it's gonna go and fire."

He spent about 30 minutes kicking the cans into their line of fire and coaching them on their shots. They seemed to have mastered the basic concept, each of them falling into the groove that worked for them. "Tower", he grunted at last.

They checked the perimeter and made noise to draw walkers, then scaled the tower. Glen and Maggie were on watch and observed the lesson. "Now we're gonna hit walkers at distance", Merle said. They practiced distance shooting with Merle correcting their stances and trajectories.

Beth tended to lose her focus when he put his arms around her to correct her posture. "You gotta be able to focus little girl", he whispered on one such occasion. "I caint always be here and I aint losin you." She set her jaw and peered through the sight. Merle noted that her arms were shaking with the effort of holding the gun up and that her accuracy was decreasing with fatigue. He also noticed she didn't complain once.

Finally even Glen and Maggie had to admit that there was considerable improvement in both students. "Back to the prison yard", Merle ordered. Once there they refreshed themselves with water and canned fruit then reloaded their weapons. Merle went inside and brought out 2 youth deer rifles and set them against the fence. They were about to start when Rick emerged. "Carl, I hate to interrupt you but Judith is smilin for the first time and I think you should see her." He took in the target range and shot up trashcans and nodded to Merle.

Carl looked hopefully at Merle. "Go on then", Merle said. He looked at Beth. She looked a little tired but squared her shoulders and returned her gaze. _That's my girl, he thought. _ "Ready for your final exam girlie?" he asked. "Yes", she said with certainty. He led her to edge of the motor pool. He had moved all the vehicles to the far side of the lot.

She let the gun dangle from the strap, her arms were burning and she didn't know if she could lift it again. But she was going to do this - for the group, for Merle and for herself. He turned her to face the garage then he stood a few feet behind her and pulled a garage door opener out of his pocket. "Get in your stance", he ordered and she complied. He hit the button and the garage door raised. And out stumbled a walker.

_This was a big guy when he was alive. Good size target to hit for your first time, thought Merle_. Beth gasped, then raised the gun and moved the sight around, settling first on the midbody. The walker got a good whiff and turned to her. It limped towards her, quickening it's pace. 50 yards. She took aim and fired, missing completely. 30 yards. Beth fired again, hitting it in the upper shoulder. Her arms trembled with the weight and she let the gun drop to get a rest. The walker recovered and closed. 20 yards. She raised the gun with shaky arms and tried to focus on the advancing form. She squeezed another off and hit the heart.

The walker fell to the ground then scrambled up again, and she quickly reloaded, fired and missed. Now she could smell it. At ten yards her breathing quickened and the gun shook. This would be the last shot she could get. She tried to steady but her arms wouldn't obey. Merle's arms folded around hers and his body braced her from behind. "Stance", he ordered in her ear. "Your strength is in your core. Now focus midbody, then head. Anticipate trajectory. Breathe out. Squeeze". She steadied and squeezed and the walker's head exploded.

She released the gun and took a rattling breath. Merle pulled the strap over her head. "Think you've had enough of this gun missy?" he asked. She nodded her head and bent over with her arms dangling to rest her upper body.

Merle brought one of the deer rifles over. "The weapon you've been using is too heavy for you. This one is lighter, better suited for you especially if you're tired. Aint gonna do nobody no good if you got a weapon you can't defend with." She stood and took the rifle. She held it up experimentally, it was much more manageable. Merle cautioned her. "It's lighter, so it's gonna kick more. You gotta make sure that stock is against your shoulder. Got me?" She smiled. "Yes", she said with relief.

"Ready?" asked Merle. She nodded. He ran into the garage for a few minutes, then returned and hit the opener. The next walker emerged, a man of slighter build. He trained on Merle's dissipating scent and came towards them. She checked her stance and aimed with difficulty, this one moved a lot more from side to side. She frowned and concentrated on the midbody, fired and missed. She ejected the casing and aimed for the midbody again. The walker dropped to the ground. "Ya got him slowed down", said Merle.

She rechecked and tried to anticipate his head coming up, but she misadjusted the stock of the rifle and missed, getting her shoulder smacked in the process. She fumbled with the chamber and lost precious time as the walker approached. 20 yards out. She set and aimed. Stance. Midbody. Head. Anticipate. Exhale. She squeezed and the walker went down, half its head missing.

She looked at Merle with a triumphant smile. "You just might be gettin somewheres," he said to her, and though there was no discernable expression on his face she thought she heard pride in his voice. "One more", he said.

He set up the third and returned to her. "Hang on a minute", she said. She took time to get a drink of water, readjust her ponytail and shirt, pull up her pants, and eat another granola bar, keeping her eyes on the garage door. "Ready?" asked Merle. She nodded, raising the gun. "Stance", he reminded her.

Merle hit the button. The walker was formerly a petite woman and she vascillated from side to side much more than the previous two. She was also much quicker than the other two. Beth took a moment to aim then fired. The shot missed over the walkers shoulder. 30 yards. Beth ejected the casing, aimed at midbody and fired - the magazine was empty. So were her pockets. "Are there more shells?" Beth yelled so Merle could hear behind her. "Nope", he said.

She dropped the gun looked around. There against the fence about 20 yards to her left was the other deer rifle Merle had brought out. She tried to move slowly towards it but the walker keyed in on her movement and picked up its pace. Beth shuffled to the side then ran quickly to the rifle. She set her stance and raised it to her shoulder, ensuring that the trajectory of the shot was directed into the uninhabited corner of the motor pool. She aimed midbody, raised, and fired. Nothing. Beth opened the magazine and examined it. The gun was not loaded. Her heartbeat crashed in her ears.

By then the walker was gasping, reaching out and clawing at her. Beth scuttled backwards against the fence, trying to dodge its arms but it caught her and they both went down. Beth knocked it in the face with the butt of her gun and rolled from underneath like a cat. She could hear someone shouting in the distance as the walker closed on her again. She reversed the rifle so the barrel was in her hand and swung the butt, connecting with the zombie's neck and knocking it into the fence. She moved in front of it and instinctively crouched.

"Finish it", she heard Merle say behind her. She suddenly remembered the hatchet in her belt loop. She tore it out and advanced, avoiding the arms and burying it in the front of the walker's skull. As the walker fell she dropped the hatchet and sat down hard on the ground, exhausted. She rested her head on her knees to catch her breath.

She looked behind her to share her triumph and found that all hell had broken loose.

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Rick was running full tilt when he launched himself in the air towards Merle. Merle was absorbed watching Beth's reactions and didn't hear Rick coming behind him. Rick hit him like a linebacker and both went down. Both also came up swinging and bleeding. "I saw you unload that gun!" Rick screamed at Merle as they circled. "You put an unarmed kid out here to get attacked?"

Merle's nose was bleeding from colliding with the pavement. He shook his head as he countered Rick. "I wasn't gonna let nothin happen to her", he growled. Rick lunged and Merle sidestepped. "And what about Carl? You were gonna let him get attacked too? What the fuck's wrong with you?" hissed Rick.

Merle wiped his lip with the back of his hand and replied, "This is what you call sterling leadership? Hittin a man from behind? No wonder y'alls group is so fucked up." He eyed Rick warily as they assessed each other. "Your kid was safer here with me than he woulda been with you". Rick's spit lip curled. "What's that supposed to mean?" he snarled. Merle spit blood out of his mouth, still circling Rick. "It means Sheriff that while you're skipping around chasin butterflies and seein dead people I'm protecting your family. Truth hurts but you aint capable to lead these people. You couldn't even protect your own wife."

"And you're capable?" Rick's voice dropped to a deadly whisper. They continued to circle each other. "You'll take care of my family the way you did Daryl?" Merle's eyes squinted. "What the fuck did you say?" he said in a steely voice. Rick continued, "I seen it all before when I was a cop, families like yours. If you can call them that. " Merle dropped his chin and glared at Rick.

Rick continued, "How old was he when you started pourin alcohol into him? Drugs? Beatin the shit out of him?" spat Rick. "You want to be such a good parent to my kids? I bet your parents didn't give a shit about either one of you. Your brother turned out OK. But people like you breed like rats and leave everyone else to clean the mess."

Merle silently feinted to one side then charged like a bull, clipping Rick's knee and taking him down. Rick quickly twisted but Merle straddled him and landed a couple of blows with his metal arm before he was dragged away by Michonne, Daryl and Glen.

"Everybody just calm the fuck down!" yelled Daryl. "What the fuck is goin on?" Rick was getting up, blood running from a split in his cheek. Carol and Maggie restrained him from getting any closer to Merle, whose chest was heaving with fury. "He took Beth's ammo and set a walker loose on her. He was plannin on doin the same to Carl," Rick said. They all looked at Merle who glared back unapologetically.

Beth approached gingerly with her arms wrapped around her midbody. Maggie hugged her, crying. "Are you OK?" she asked. Beth looked at her with a partial smile and nodded, wincing when Maggie squeezed her stiffening upper body. "I killed it", said Beth. "With a hatchet." Maggie looked at Carol, "We need to get her inside." Carol nodded, still keeping both hands on Rick's chest.

Rick bent over to catch his breath then spoke. "He's out. Daryl, he's out. He's endangered the group. There's no arguments about this," he said. _Fuck, Merle_ thought Daryl. He looked around the group. "Let's just get him to his cell," said Daryl. "Everybody cool off a minute."

Rick took a breath. "Michonne, Glen, disarm him and cuff him, and lock him in his cell." he ordered. Merle snorted in derision. "You think Mr. Ching Chong and this jungle bunny bitch are up to that?" he snarled, breaking loose from them in one movement. He scanned the group. "I guess y'alls finally ready to party," he threatened.

Daryl caught Merle around the middle. "Quit makin it worse Merle!", he yelled as he got Merle in a chokehold. Michonne and Glen fought Merle's arms behind his back. They each had to use two arms to control one of Merle's. He was still able to get Glen down with a leg sweep and head butt Michonne in the process.

"I don't know why I didn't think of this before," said Glen, pulling a Taser out of his pocket and zapping Merle, who went down like a rock. Glen smiled at Merle's twitching body. "Meet my new electric chopsticks, asshole", he said.

Daryl and Glen dragged Merle into the cellblock and threw him in his cell, locking it. Beth came in behind them with Maggie and Carol who took her to Hershel for examination. Finally Rick trailed in with a swollen jaw, rinsed his face in the shower room and went to his cell with Carl and Judith.

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Hershel stood outside Merle's cell with Maggie, who carried a box of medical supplies. "I need to look at your wounds Merle, we can't risk infection." Merle stood up from his bunk and stood in the center of the room. His eyes were hard and his face unreadable. Maggie inserted the key and opened the door. Hershel entered and Maggie set up the supplies on Merle's bunk. She looked at Merle, then her dad. "I'll be right outside", she said cautiously. She shut the cell door and Merle turned to Hershel. "It'd be a lot easier if you sat down," said Hershel.

Merle complied, sitting with military straightness. Hershel dabbed some cotton in disinfectant and started cleaning Merle's knuckles and the scrapes on his arms. Satisfied he moved to Merle's face. "Anything under the shirt I need to worry about?" Hershel asked. "No", replied Merle.

An older wound on the bridge of Merle's nose had reopened and was deeper than before. Hershel had to use a cotton swab to disinfect it. He knew that it stung but Merle didn't move a muscle. "Open your mouth", Hershel ordered. Merle complied and Hershel saw no signs of broken teeth or a bitten tongue. He started working on a cut beneath Merle's eye.

"How's your daughter?" Merle asked. Hershel pressed the disinfectant into the wound, a little harder than perhaps was needed. "Beth is banged up but fine. She'll have a good bruise on her shoulder from the shotgun, and the walker took her down hard. She'll be stiff for a couple days."

Merle's eyes flickered. Hershel finished and began gathering his supplies. Then he looked down at Merle. He said, "I could kill you for what you did, but I know why you did it and you're lucky and Beth's lucky that it worked. The results could have been quite different."

Merle's body remained still but his eyes shifted to Hershel, who sighed. "That being said, she wants to do it again. If there is a next time Merle, take their jaws and arms off first." He knocked on the cell door and Maggie let him out, carefully relocking it.

Merle thought about Beth taking down the walkers today. _She's right_, he thought. _She aint no little girl_.

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At dinner Rick addressed the group. "Hershel, when can Merle head out on his own?" Rick asked. Hershel looked at Rick gravely. He said, "If need be, Merle could leave here tomorrow." He paused, regarding Rick from under shaggy eyebrows. "Rick, I think we need to have the consensus of the group to do this. I think part of this is your own issue with Merle, for which you have my sympathy. But I'm not sure everyone would agree that he should leave."

"OK," said Rick. "What are reasons he should leave?", he asked as he looked around the room. Glen started, "He's an asshole, he almost killed me and Michonne, he's a racist, and today he could have killed Beth and Carl." Carol cleared her throat softly. "I think that sums it up," she said, hazarding a glance at Daryl who was sitting at a corner table detached from the group.

"Daryl," said Rick. "If he goes are you goin with him?". Daryl looked around the room nervously. Finally he said, "Aw man, he's my brother. Whys it got to be like that?". Rick continued, "You said that last time. Now, would you go?". Daryl paused. His eyes rested on Carol, who was hugging herself by the stove. She returned his gaze steadily. _Do what you have to do_, her eyes said. Daryl made his decision. "No," he said. Carol exhaled with relief.

Rick looked around. "Alright, let's hear reasons he should stay," he said. The room was quiet for a moment. Hershel started. "He's got military experience, he knows Woodbury inside and out, he works just as hard as the rest of us. He's difficult to get along with but you always know where he stands. If we get out of this mess and return to settling this prison, he would be invaluable," he finished. Daryl nodded.

Maggie shifted in her seat and took Glen's hand. "And even though I hate him for what he did to Glen and Michonne, I have to admit that Carl and Beth improved a lot today." Glen paused then reluctantly nodded in agreement. Michonne stayed silent in the corner. Her position here was tenuous and she wasn't going to get involved in politics, even if she hated that redneck bastard.

"Dad?" said Carl. Rick looked at his son. "Yeah Carl." he said. "Beth and I learned a lot today and I know you don't like him but I think he should stay," finished Carl. Rick looked at Beth and she nodded. She added, "How else would I learn to kill a walker without a gun? I'd rather learn with Merle standing there than in the tombs when someone's life counts on it. Now I can help defend."

Rick sighed. "Now for group vote", he said. "Who's for Merle leaving?". Rick, Glen and Maggie raised their hands. "Staying?" Rick asked. The rest of the group raised their hands. Rick dropped his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose, which was quite sore.

"Rick, now that that's settled", said Hershel. "I think we should bring Merle in here. I don't like what he did today any more than you, but we can't exclude him." Rick looked up and nodded. He gave Carl the key to Merle's cell. While Carl went off to get Merle, Carol turned to the stove to fix him a plate.

Merle followed Carl in warily. The bridge of his nose was bruising and swollen. He ran his tongue around his mouth, crossed his arms, and pressed his back into the corner, surveying the room. "Merle," started Rick. "I overreacted today. The group has voted to keep you with us. You and I got issues that we need to resolve outside of the group, that's clear." Merle didn't respond but kept his eyes on Rick.

Rick cleared his throat. "But don't pull anything like you did today without running it past me, Hershel or Daryl." he said. Merle paused then slowly nodded, shifting his eyes to Hershel then Daryl. Carol brought a plate to Merle and handed it to him with a small smile. Merle took the plate to an unoccupied table and sat down, inhaling his food like someone was going to take it from him.

"So," said Carol, changing the subject. "We're low on food and baby formula. I think if we're considering going to Woodbury that we should get supplies first." Rick nodded. "Town's pretty picked over", he said. Merle didn't look up from his food as he spoke, "Convenience store on the west side we aint hit yet." Everyone turned to him. Glen asked, "Have you been in it?".

Merle looked up. "Me and the guys from Woodbury cleaned it out of cigarettes and whiskey. Got chased out by walkers. Those guys probably aint been back since there was bigger stores to plunder. We may be able to get gas for the cars if we can get a generator going to operate the gas pumps."

Rick looked around the room. "This has to happen quick, no later than tomorrow morning. Do we have volunteers?". Merle looked up. "I'll go," he said. "I know where it's at and what's in there." He paused a few seconds. "I'll take the china...". He stopped and looked at his plate. He looked up again at Glen. "I'll take Glen and Michonne, I trust them to cover my back."

Glen looked at Maggie, she raised her eyebrows. Glen replied, "Yeah, I'll go.". Michonne stood up. "Me too," she said, meeting Merle's eyes. Rick stood up. "OK, let's get people up on watch and get the rest to bed. Tomorrow's gonna start early." He exited the room with Carl in tow.

Merle looked up and saw Beth looking over at him, a little smile on her face. He got up, took his plate to Carol, and started to head to the cellblock to prepare for tomorrow.

Beth met him in the middle of the room, and to the surprise of everyone stood up on her tiptoes and gingerly put her arms around his neck. "Ouch", she laughed as she stretched her sore arms. "Thank you for today Merle. I'd like to get more practice so I can help out the group". Her breasts briefly brushed his chest. Merle stood stock still, his hands at his sides. She kissed him sweetly on the cheek and when she released him he caught a glimpse of mischief in her eyes.

_Even if I hafta walk, I'm gettin to town tomorrow_, he thought.

**Hmmm...how to set up a deflowering? Stay tuned!**


	7. Chapter 7

**EVERYONE READY FOR THIS?**

Awakening (Merle and Beth)

Overall the run went well. Merle and Glen were able to loot the convenience store for baby formula, diapers and some canned food while Michonne held off the walkers. Merle determined that there was a mechanism in the electrical box to activate the pumps with a generator, but there was no generator present. They would have to bring a portable generator next time. On the way out, Merle was able to jam a few boxes of condoms into his cargo pants. _Daddy's comin' little girl,_ he thought.

They returned to the prison in early afternoon and Merle volunteered for afternoon watch so his night would be free. Beth had been waiting in the prison yard with Carol and the baby when the group returned and when he got out of the car he gave her a wink. She looked around nervously then shot him a smile. Their date was for tonight was on.

Judith fussed that night and Beth eventually took her to Rick's cell. Rick and Carl were able to calm her down and get her to sleep then they fell in bed exhausted. Beth lay in her bunk tensely, waiting for everyone to settle. Luckily Carol and Daryl were on watch so she didn't have to worry about waking her bunkmate. Beth jumped lightly down to the floor. She was wearing a tank top and boxer shorts with nothing underneath and the air felt cool on her skin. She carefully scouted the cellblock then slipped into Merle's cell.

He was lying in his bunk only in his cargo pants, shirtless. He smiled when he saw her. "Well, well", he whispered. She smiled and came closer. Merle yanked a blanket over the foot of his bunk to prevent prying eyes from seeing into the bed. He set up a small lantern at the head. Anyone looking from the outside would likely think he was reading by muted light.

He grabbed the waistband of her shorts and pulled her into the bed and she stifled a giggle. He flipped her on her back and lay on top of her, kissing her playfully, happy to finally be with her alone. She nipped back, letting her hands wander over him. He paused, playing his lips lightly on hers. "You sure you want this little girl?" he whispered. She touched her nose to his. "Yes," she whispered, "with you".

Merle raised himself to his knees and unbuttoned his pants with one hand. He pushed them down and shifted to pull them off. Naked he turned to her and pulled her shorts and shirt off. He slid onto her and rubbed his body on her, kissing her gently then with more urgency. She kissed him back and he could feel the excitement and fear in in her.

He forced himself for slow down and work his way from her neck to her breasts, to her stomach and finally down between her legs, where the light softly illuminated her blond hair. He gently tongued her, slowly building her to excitement. Yes, this is what she remembered from last time - desperately wanting something she didn't know.

He rose up and reached under the pillow to pull out a condom. He concentrated on ripping the package open with his teeth and getting the slippery condom in his hand. He looked down to put it on and saw Beth gaping in the lantern light. She had never really seen his cock before. "It won't fit", she whispered, her eyes round. He looked down. Junior was bobbing up and down with his heartbeat. "It looks bigger than it is," he said, trying to be reassuring. "And it will fit just fine."

Beth tried to think calming thoughts. That thing was huge. She could barely get two of her own fingers in before it hurt...stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it. She realized that she was lying with her fists clenched and her faced screwed up. She opened one eye to look at Merle, who was battling the condom with one hand. She took a deep breath and tried to relax. _This is Merle and I love him and after tonight it's goin to be wonderful,_ she thought.

He positioned himself so she could feel him at her entrance then bent his head to kiss her breasts. He nuzzled and nipped and sucked until she sighed and dug her nails into his back. He had thought about this moment, and had come to one decision - the longer he kept her waiting the tenser she'd get and the more she'd hurt. Right now she was relaxed and unsuspecting beneath him, so he gritted his teeth and in one stroke pushed swiftly into her, feeling her walls part around him. Beth gasped sharply and her knees came together, her legs shaking with pain and shock. She whimpered then bit down on her lip to keep quiet. Tears stung her eyes.

Merle rocked slowly inside her and fought the instinct to thrust hard into the tightness. His arms burned with the effort of holding his body up off of hers and holding himself back. He pushed deeper and felt her open more. _I'm so sorry little girl, he thought. I'd take the pain for you if I could._ He fought to control his strokes to save her from the pain.

He realized he was losing a race that was stacked against him. She felt better than anything he had ever experienced, and suddenly he was on the edge. Uncontrollably he bucked on top of her and came. He was breathing like he had just run a race.

He rolled off of her and removed the condom, then turned to her. She had drawn her knees up and was wincing, her eyes closed. She fought to control her breathing and to banish the burning pain. She went deep inside herself where she could talk with God and asked for peace. After about ten minutes the intense pain began to dissipate. Her eyes opened to find Merle hovering over her, a look of undisguised fear on his face. "You OK, angel?" he asked, searching her face. She swallowed and tried to smile. "Thank you", she said softly.

His arms went around her and he pulled her to him tightly. His lips went to her ear. "I never want to hurt you," he whispered hoarsely. She straightened her trembling legs slowly and turned towards him, burying her face in his neck. He held her until her body relaxed, murmuring how proud he was of her. She moved her thighs against each other cautiously. The pain had dissipated into cramps and she felt better.

He held her, nuzzling her neck, her hair, her cheek. "You probably won't let old Merle touch you again after this," he sighed. _Stupid fucking redneck, should have warned her it was comin. You hurt her_ _and she's not gonna have any more of you. _The core of him throbbed with emotional pain, a very foreign sensation for Merle Dixon.

Beth rolled on top of him and rubbed her cheek on his chest. After a while he thought she had fallen asleep. She didn't move her head when she spoke. "Can we do it again tonight?" she asked, her voice muffled by his neck. Merle moved his head back to catch her eye. "Are you shittin me?" he asked. Her big eyes sparkled in the soft light. "I want to know," she said simply. He stroked her back and closed his eyes, letting his body relax and savoring the feel of her resting on top of him. "We'll do it whenever you want," he answered.

His fingers stroked her back and she sighed, snuggling in. _When the hell did I fall in love with this girl? _he thought. He had never been in love before, but he knew this was it. He remembered reading _The Godfathe_r back in his army days, when Michael Corleone went to Sicily and was hit by 'the thunderbolt' at his first sight of the beautiful Apollonia. Same damn thunderbolt he felt the first night he heard Beth sing. _Can't imagine living without it now._ _I guess this is why people make a big deal out of it_, he thought.

She stirred and reached down to grasp him, and he hardened at her touch. She slowly slid down to kiss his stomach then experimentally licked the tip of his cock, which stiffened considerably. Encouraged, she continued licking. Merle's breathing had picked up, she took this as a good sign. Steadying herself she took him into her mouth. She wasn't quite sure what to do at this point, but he must be enjoying it because his hips were moving and his legs were shaking a little bit. She kept her head still as he moved in and out, hitting the back of her throat.

_Maggie said that with practice you can get the whole thing in, she thought. I sure don't know how. _She released his cock, kissing the head, then slid back up lightly so that her mouth was near Merle's ear. He was lying on his back with an amazed expression on his face. "Did I do any of that right?" she whispered. "All of it", he replied and flipped her on her back for round 2.

**Think they'll keep it a secret? Stay tuned!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well, you can probably tell by the title of the chapter that the secret gets out. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send reviews!**

Cows Come Home

Carol hummed as she got through the day's laundry. The busywork relaxed her and the sun was shining brightly so she temporarily forgot about her troubles and enjoyed the warmth. The sun even shone into the prison, illuminating the dust motes that danced through the air above her. Sometimes I wish I could just be one of them, she sighed.

She made her way through the clothes everyone had thrown into the hamper. Today was a perfect day to do sheets, she could hang them in the courtyard to dry and they would smell like sun tonight. One by one she went through the cells collecting sheets and pillowcases. When she got to Merle's cell she treaded gingerly, she wouldn't put it past him to booby trap the place. She pulled the pillowcase off the pillow and shoved it in the prison laundry sack she carried. She pulled at the bottom sheet of the bed and something caught her eye. She held the sheets to the sunlight and breathed 'Oh no'.

Carol walked into the courtyard hesitantly. The baby was sleeping and Beth was leaning against the brick wall of the prison, soaking up sun. Maggie and Glen were talking to Michonne near the van that the Governor had run through the fence. Daryl and Rick were on watch. Carol took a deep breath and walked towards them. "Can I talk to you for a sec Maggie?" she asked.

"Sure", said Maggie, walking a few yards away for privacy. Carol took a deep breath. She looked at Maggie, her eyes full of sympathy. "I think you should know", she said. "Know what?" asked Maggie. Carol continued "Beth's underwear was stained with blood this week." Maggie looked at her perplexed. "Beth's had her period for a few years" she shrugged. Carol took a deep breath. "I know that, I do the laundry. But Maggie honey - Merle's sheets have blood in them."

She watched as Maggie's face changed from questioning to understanding, putting two and two together with the her sister's obvious fascination with Merle. "I'll kill him", Maggie swore. She pulled her gun out and started walking towards the courtyard. "I'm going to fucking kill him!" she yelled. "What's going on?" said Glen as she stalked past. "Merle's been messing with Beth!" she roared and he ran after her.

Beth opened her eyes as Maggie stalked towards her. Glen trotted along side of her, urging her to calm down. "Has he been FUCKING you?!" Maggie raged in Beth's face. Beth opened her eyes and gaped at her. "What?" she stammered. "Merle raped you and you didn't tell me?" Maggie was over the edge, hysteria in her voice.

"Merle didn't rape me Maggie." Beth said. Merle had been changing the transmission fluid in one of the prison vehicles and heard the ruckus coming from the courtyard. He saw Maggie with one hand on Beth's shoulder pushing Beth against the wall, a gun in her other hand. He set his jaw and began to walk towards them, wiping his hands on an old rag. His gait was outwardly casual but contained the energy of a raging bull.

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" Maggie screamed. She turned to see Merle walking towards them warily. "You bastard", she screamed hoarsely. "You touched my sister!" Merle raised both of his hands. "Whoa lady, put that gun down," Merle said warily, approaching slowly and watching the gun in her hand. Maggie was completely unhinged, the gun in her hands shaking. "The governor, you're just like him. You're just like him and you fucking raped my sister!" she screamed. Hershel was making his way across the courtyard from the prison, drawn by the noise. "What's going on?" he warned. "Maggie", Glen said softly. "You don't have proof". "Daddy, go inside!" Maggie said. "I'm going to shoot this motherfucker."

Everyone was yelling and Maggie had her gun in Merle's face. His eyes flickered between Maggie and Beth. One leg sweep and he could take Maggie out, but probably not the best course of action at the moment. Beth stepped forwards. "Stop", she said firmly in her clear voice. Maggie turned her head towards her. "Beth move" she warned as she stepped the shaking gun closer to Merle. Beth moved between Maggie and Merle, the gun now pointed at her forehead. "Stop it Maggie", she said softly. Maggie keened, torn between blowing Merle's head off and hurting her sister.

"Merle didn't do anything I didn't want him to do. This was my decision", Beth said clearly. "What?" Maggie said in disbelief, her shaking hand still trained on Merle. Beth drew a deep breath. "I slept with Merle".

The group stood silent. At this point Daryl had joined them from the fence, practically dragging Carol who had two hands on his arm. "What the fuck Merle?" he screamed hoarsely, barging into the center of the group with Carol hanging off of him. "I did it", Beth replied calmly, looking at all of them. "Don't be mad at Merle. Maggie, Daddy, Carol, I'm sorry you have to know this way. But I love him and we're together now."

The group was silent, gaping at her and Merle. She stepped backwards until her back touched him. She looked up at him and smiled encouragingly. He looked down at her and gave and a tender smile then looked at the group like a guard dog over a bone. His hand went around her waist protectively.

"He turned me down," she said. "Lots of times. He wouldn't do it. He said he was too old and no good. I kept at him. I knew I loved him. I knew we were meant to be together. God told me Maggie. Daddy." she said to Hershel who was sagging on his crutches.

"For God's sake you're just a kid Beth! What the hell has he done to you?" Maggie was sobbing. Glen talked to Maggie softly, held her shoulders then took the gun away from her. His eyes met Merle's. _Owe ya one chinaman_, thought Merle.

Beth took a breath and answered her steadily. "No matter how bad things get Maggie, you've got Glen at night. Carol's got Daryl. Rick and Daddy were both married and had wives to love them. What about me?" she asked. She looked around at the group of people surrounding her. She continued, "Don't I get a chance at happiness?"

Maggie staggered and snapped back. "So you just went ahead and went to bed with HIM? You couldn't wait to find someone your own age? You're a teenager." Beth stood up straight and regarded Maggie seriously. She looked at her father who was staring at the ground. "'Am I'm old enough to die Maggie?" she asked softly.

Maggie dropped her hands and looked at Beth, her face crumpling. Beth continued. "You had sex when you younger than me Maggie, you told me the night it happened. You were so excited. I was happy for you. Why can't you be happy for me?" Beth asked. "Merle's a good man. You haven't seen it yet but you will. I know it hurts y'all. I know you think of me as the baby. But Maggie? Daddy?" she paused. "Carol? I'm 17, maybe 18 years old. I'm a woman. I can drive, I can have a baby. Right now at the end of the world I can run around shooting people. I want to know what love is like, why is that wrong? God gave me Merle and I'm happy. Let's just all be happy, OK?"

Glen put his arms around Maggie and whispered to her. Carol's eyes were full of tears and she was smiling sadly at Beth while still holding onto a fuming Daryl. Hershel looked at his youngest daughter who stood sheltered in Merle's arms. He furrowed his brow and went back slowly into the prison.

"Please Maggie", Beth said, leaving Merle's arms to hug her sister. Maggie sobbed briefly as she gripped Beth. "I love you so much," wailed Maggie. "I know. And I love you. So be happy for me. I'm so happy Maggie. He makes me happy." Beth hugged her then pulled back and smiled.

Maggie looked at Merle. He returned her gaze, and gone was the hostility he usually wore as a mask. "Don't you dare hurt her", Maggie said through clenched teeth. Merle looked at Maggie, the hard lines of his face softened somehow. "I'd cut off my other hand first", rasped Merle, turning his head to look at Beth who came back to him and kissed him softly on the cheek. He put his arm around her chest and looked at Daryl.

"Oh, you and me gonna talk about this," Daryl hissed at him. Merle nodded at him. Carol spoke up. "Please Daryl, you two can talk but let's let it simmer down a little bit first. Help me string the clothesline, I need somebody tall." She gave a small smile to Beth, then to Merle. Daryl sneered at Merle then nodded to Carol and let her lead him away. Glenn led Maggie back to the abandoned bus. Merle sighed and rested his chin on the top of Beth's head. "Cat's outa the bag angel", he said to her drily.

She turned to face him and nestled her face into his neck. "I'm kinda glad," she said. "Now we don't have to sneak around". Merle grunted. _Especially if Office Friendly puts a bullet in my skull while I'm sleeping tonight, he thought. Won't he be happy to hear the big news. _

"I need to go talk to Daddy," she sighed into his chest. Merle ducked his head so his face could be closer to hers. "Ya want me to do it?" he asked. "No, I need to do this", said Beth, pulling gently away and lifting up on her toes to give him a soft kiss then looking into his eyes with a smile that was just for him. Then she headed into the cellblock.

Beth sidled into Hershel's cell. He was sitting on the bunk staring at his folded hands. The skin on his face sagged and he looked as if he had aged several years. He was utterly still. Beth whispered "Daddy', and kneeled on the floor in front of him. Hershel looked at her unseeingly. "I need you Daddy", she said, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting the side of her face on his knees. He placed a hand on her hair and gazed down at her. They remained like this for a long time.

She took a breath as tears ran out of her eyes and said, "I'll never leave you Daddy. I am always your little girl. I don't ever want to live without you." He regarded her gravely, hanging on her words. Her blue eyes beseeched him and she gripped his hands. "Please Daddy, I know that this is not what you would have chosen for me and I know why. But please trust me that I know deep in my heart that it's right. I would never just..." she trailed off.

"I know you wouldn't", he said. "And I never would have thought that." She gave him a small smile. He continued, "When the world went crazy I turned to the Lord for comfort, and it was easy because I still had you girls. When we lost Lori and T-Dog I turned to the Lord for comfort, and it was harder, but I was able to do it because I had you girls. Now...", his voice trailed off.

He looked at her for a long time. She raised on her knees and looked up at him, her eyes shining. "You still have me and Maggie, Daddy. We're not going anywhere." she smiled at him. He touched her soft cheek.

"Can we pray together?" she asked. He searched her face for signs of the little girl he had held in his arms only 17 years ago. Now with the world gone mad everyday was worth a year, and he knew he had to treasure each one. The worst thing that could happen would be to waste it on anger. He leaned over and picked up his bible and she rose and sat next to him, her head bowed.

It was late in the afternoon and Merle had just finished up the transmission job. He was wiping off the tools and putting them back in the tool chest in the garage when Hershel entered. Merle's eyes shifted between the tool in his hand and Hershel. He had anticipated this and was glad it was happening sooner rather than later.

When Hershel stood in front of him, Merle straightened, his muscular chest glistening under his T-shirt and the sun shining through 3 days of beard. "Hershel", he said to the old man and tipping his chin in Hershel's direction. "Walk with me Merle", said Hershel in his deep voiced drawl. Merle put the tool away and tossed the rag on the tool chest.

They slowly crossed the courtyard, heading towards the side fence. Neither man talked. When they reached the fence Hershel stopped, looking at the fields and forested land that surrounded the prison. The silence strung on for minutes.

"Sometime when I come out here, especially at night when the stars are bright, it almost feels as if I'm back at my farm," said Hershel, breaking the silence. "I have to screen out the sounds of the walkers to do it. Sometimes it seems I can look right through them and erase them from the landscape to see what I need to see." He leaned on his crutches.

Merle turned his head towards Hershel, regarding him in respectful silence. Hershel continued to gaze past the fence and drew a breath. "Merle, Beth is the living image of her mother. Josephine was the most beautiful woman I ever knew. She was kind, giving, and unfailingly gentle. But she was never weak. Not timid. She was a woman of God and didn't hide her strong convictions. It's probably what kept her married to a drunk who didn't deserve her." He paused, lost for a moment of the memory. "She always saw the goodness in people," he said thoughtfully and paused. 'She died soon after Beth was born. Beth has no memory of her." He turned his head to look at Merle who waited in silence for him to continue.

Hershel turned back to the fence. "I won't lie Merle, you're about the last person I'd pick to be in a relationship with anybody, much less my most precious possession on this planet. I'd have preferred my girls to put off physical relationships until marriage. But in this world...", he paused and shook his head.

"I don't worry about you protecting her against harm Merle, I can't think of anyone better for the job. But I want you to realize that you have other responsibilities. Responsibilities you may not have considered", he looked back at Merle, who swallowed and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"First, an unplanned pregnancy would be disastrous in our situation," started Hershel, looking directly into Merle's eyes. Merle broke his gaze for a fraction of a second. "Yessir" he said hoarsely. "Now," Hershel continued, keepin her safe and keeping her fed is the easy part. And you know in our situation how much work that is. But more than that you have to be there for her. A woman is nothing like a man, particularly a young woman who in the best of circumstances will have insecurities and fears and quirks on an hourly basis. The hardest job you will have is to help her through those times and keep your sanity while you do it. You may have noticed that Glen is in the process of doing this."

Merle thought of Glen trotting next to Maggie as she brandished her gun in a rage. "Yessir," he said. Hershel's exhalation bordered on a chuckle. "Now Beth is not as spirited as Maggie, but she is more sensitive. She'll need you to be there for her emotionally and spiritually- it may be morning, noon or night, it may be all three. She will need to know that you love her every minute of the day."

His eyes turned to bore into Merle's "And cruelty Merle - cruelty will destroy her." Merle's only reaction was a flicker of his eyes. Hershel continued, "Until today, supporting Beth was my responsibility and it's one I hand over reluctantly. You need to realize that it's now solely yours. Take it as seriously as you take protecting her life."

"Yessir" said Merle, almost meekly. He hadn't thought about all that emotional shit. _Well, I'm in it neck deep, he thought, aint no escapin it now_. With that, Hershel turned around and slowly gimped back to the cellblock. Merle glanced up to watch him go and swore under his breath. Afternoon watch was over and Daryl was approaching him quickly from the tower, a deep scowl on his face. The fun was never going to end today.

Dinner was quiet and tense. Rick had been apprised of the situation and once the shock wore off he watched everyone closely for signs of trouble. Merle had come in with a bruised and swelling cheekbone, Daryl with a bruised and swelling upper lip. They glared at each other periodically across the table.

Carol got everyone served and sighed. She looked up to see Beth gazing at her hopefully. Carol gave rolled her eyes and shrugged as if saying "these are our boys". It made Beth giggle and everyone looked at her. Beth looked down at her plate with a half smile, hoping to break the tension.

"I haven't seen y'all in a while, she said. 'Anything exciting happen today?" She looked up sheepishly to see the tightness in everyone's faces dissolve into smiles despite themselves. They could now move on to the resume the daily struggle for survival together. She smiled and put her hand on Merle's leg and thanked God that the day was almost over.

That night Merle went directly to his cell to be alone. He'd had enough bonding with just about everything today, thank you kindly. Beth joined Glen and Maggie in Hershel's cell. After a round of hugs and "love yous" they relaxed and chatted about unrelated topics - the prospect of taking Woodbury, the prospect of staying at the prison instead, where to go for the next food run. Soon Beth was yawning and announced that she was going to bed, and kissed everyone goodnight.

In full view of her family she stopped in her cell to pick up her blanket and sleeping clothes (those were for her dad's sake) and made her way to Merle's cell. It was dark and she could tell by his breathing that he was still awake. She put her blanket on top of his, took off her clothes, and crawled into the warmth underneath the blankets.

She ran her nails over his beard and kissed him slowly. Her lips parted and she brushed them over his bruised cheek and rubbed her nose on his. Then she turned and pressed the back of her body against his front, laying her head on his outstretched arm. In minutes they were both asleep.

**Stay tuned, Beth and Merle's story is not done.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi! Merle's going to get a taste of female mood swings. Please let me know what you think!**

Life Sentence

Shortly afterward Merle moved his cell upstairs and to the end of the row, the farthest possible place from everyone else's snoopin eyes. Beth moved her possessions up piece by piece and she was now cleaning her old cell in case someone needed to use it. The room looked so cold now that it was empty and it made her sad. She had helped Carol get the baby down that night and was tired. Carol had smiled at her and told her that she and Daryl would take Judith for the night since Rick and Carl were on watch. Daryl was standing next to her and his cheek twitched but he didn't say anything.

Beth said good night to Maggie and Glen and went to Hershel's bunk to check how his stump was healing. They went through their evening gospel. He looked at his daughter with eyes that seemed as old as Methuselah's. "Do you know how much I love you child?" he asked. "Yes papa, as much as I love you", she whispered and kissed his dear face.

Later she entered the cell that she and Merle now shared and there was a tense pain that gnawed deep in her center. She hesitated, a slight frown on her face. She felt terribly out of place. She walked over to his bunk and laid down with her clothes on without looking at him. He looked up from cleaning his pistol. _Was this the same girl who had been beggin him for sex nonstop for the last couple weeks?_ "Aint you a bit overdressed darlin?" he smirked.

She took off her shirt and pants, leaving her bra and panties on, and slipped under the blanket. She stared up at the frame of the bunk above her, the furrow still in her forehead. He put his stuff away and took off his clothes. He climbed in under the blanket and turned to her, slipping her bra strap over her shoulder and nibbling his way to the sweetest little titty God ever created, then made his way to the other side. He slid his hand down to her soft pubic hair and...her legs were firmly pressed together. Fuck. Red light. I have a feelin this means talkin, he thought.

He moved his hand to her stomach and nuzzled the side of her face. "What's wrong little girl?" he asked in his scratchy voice. "Nothing" she said, her voice sounding shrill in her own ears. He craned his neck so that his eyes could make contact with hers.

"You pissed off at ole Merle fer sumthin?" he asked. "I aint called Glen a chink in days and I been nice to Michonne even though she aint returned that favor." Beth bit her lip and shook her head rapidly. "No", she said quietly. Her eyes dropped from his face to his chest. He studied her quizzically. I guess this would be one of them times Hershel was talkin about, he thought, and I got no idea what to do.

His voice dropped low. "You want me to make you feel good?" he asked, stroking her leg. She paused and said, "We can if you want". He was taken aback. "I dint hurt ya before did I?" he asked quickly. She looked at his face and shook her head no. "Then what's wrong with ya?" he asked. Her eyes glistened with tears.

"Nothing...everything. I don't know." she haltingly, biting her lip to quell the hot tears. Merle scratched his head. "Sugar, I caint read yore mind, you gotta help me out here", he said, visibly confused.

She pushed her bra straps back onto her shoulders and sat up, hugging her knees. She put her forehead on her knees and blurted, "It was all so right and now it just seems wrong and nothings the same with my daddy or with Maggie and I feel like I'm a different person who I don't know and I don't know you and I want all of it to go back to the way it was." It all came out in a rush. She hid her face in her knees. She was miserable and she had no idea where all this was coming from.

Merle sighed and said patiently "Baby girl, you want to go back to your pa tonight? It's OK." She nodded once, then paused and nodded again. She got up and put her clothes on, kissing him on the cheek on the way out. He had heard men complaining about the unpredictability of women before, so he had always prevented the problem by not having relationships. Now he was largely unqualified to interpret this situation and frankly it sucked. _I thought my masturbation days were over_, he thought resignedly. He turned out the light and bedded down.

Minutes later Beth was back in his doorway. She walked to his bunk and sat on the edge. "Are you asleep?" she whispered. "Nope", he said. "How come ya come back?" She started to cry. "Because I missed you", she said piteously. He sat up and turned on the light. "Get in here", he ordered, moving over to make room for her.

She slid under the blanket and rested her head on his chest, sniffling. I guess the kid's been through a lot of change in the last month, he thought. "Hey there missy. How bout I just hold you here like this? We can just go to sleep." She nodded her head and pressed close to him.

His arm went around her shoulders and soon the sniffling stopped. His chest was muscular and warm and she rubbed her face in the soft hair. Funny how he can be so hard but his skin is so soft. She breathed him in in deeply.

They relaxed together and he stroked her back. "Are you mad at me?" she asked, her voice muffled in his chest. "Nah", he replied. Minutes passed and he felt her body shaking slightly. Eventually she asked softly "Merle?" "Yeah angel" he whispered. Her shaking grew stronger as she worked up her nerve. She asked in a hollow voice, "Do you like me as much as you liked your other girlfriends?"

Merle bolted to a sitting position. "What?!" he yelped in surprise, "Sugar what in the fuck ya talkin about?" She continued, still shaking and her voice quavering. "Daryl said you had a lot of girls, " she said. "Oh he did", snarled Merle.

She continued, "I heard him talking to Carol the day everyone found about us. Well I guess he was yelling more than talking. She was trying to calm him down. He said that you got more ass than a toilet seat and that..that you fucked anything that wore lipstick." The last part came out in a wavering voice. _Well, he thought acidly, I'll have to remember to thank Darlene proper for his sentiments._

A tear brimmed over in each eye. "I don't know much about making you happy in bed and I'm probably not as pretty as those other girls." She sat up and looked down, picking at the blanket and avoiding his eyes. "I was just thinking that if we did go to Woodbury there's lots of other women there and you probably wouldn't want me anymore."

Merle growled and raised her chin with his wrist. His blue eyes had darkened to black. "You shut up right now girlie", he growed menacingly. "You hear?" She nodded faintly, tears tracking down her cheeks. "You listen to me good", he said. "There aint nobody for me but you. You got that?". She pressed her lips together and nodded.

"I told you I was a poor excuse for a man before I met you. I aint never had no girlfriend. I fucked 'em and left 'em, and usually I was high or drunk or both and they were too. I can't remember a one of thems names. I aint never gotten nobody no flowers, I aint never danced with no girl or took her out to dinner. I aint never kissed a girl just to kiss her, and I aint never brought no one around so they could meet my family", he growled.

He tipped his head to bring his face close to hers, his eyes refusing to release hers. He continued in a low husky voice. "I for shore aint NEVER changed the way I talk for nobody and sugar I...have...NEVER...EVER... even THOUGHT of swipin nail polish for any woman.", he finished. With this she couldn't help but laugh a little, and the tenseness disappeared from her face. She smiled.

_Aint a goddamn thing I wouldn't do for this one, not one thing, he thought as his eyes raked her face, she's my lifer. My lifer in prison - a prison I don't never want to leave. How could this be happenin to him, the last person on the planet deserving of it?_ He looked at her eyes, her full mouth, the delicate hollow of her neck where the small pendant rested. In his minds eye he saw the zombie horde pulling her into the maw of the broken fence. He put his arm around her neck and pulled her close so that his lips just touched the soft spot of skin in front of her ear. "And in my whole life I aint never told nobody that I loved them".

Her chin trembled and he kissed her deeply, pushing her onto her back and framing her head with his arms. He kissed her over and over, slowly moving his body over hers until her hands were ripping at her own clothes. He slid his hand under the pillow to get the condom, put it on one-handed with some help from Beth's trembling hands, then he was over her and around her and inside her, thrusting authoritatively into her honey colored mound.

The bunk, which had come loose from one of it mounts, squeaked and knocked into the wall with every thrust. He broke his rhythm and reached swiftly under the bed, pulling out her mother's bible and jamming it roughly between the bed frame and the wall. He resumed his motion and the squeak was gone. He positioned her diagonally on the bed and thrust unrelentingly, taking all of her, claiming her - this was for life.

Beth clung to him, his arms were framing her face and he was pushing into her forcefully, in stark contrast to the gentle interludes of days before. When his hardness thrust into THAT SPOT squeals escaped her, her whole body tingled. Over and over again, oh my god so good so good. She moved her legs farther apart and it felt even better. Her hands made their way to his muscular ass. Don't ever stop, please don't ever stop, she thought.

She clutched him as he pumped into her. Something drove her to pull him deep within her and suddenly her breathing shallowed and she froze. The more she pulled the deeper he got, and the closer the sensations came together. She pulled with all her strength, her legs raised and shaking and sank her nails into him then she exploded bucking and writhing. She knew she was moaning loudly but all that mattered was this feeling - the breath was torn from her and her body spasmed with pleasure. She was shaking everywhere. He stiffened and swore loudly, pumping his load into her then rolling off in exhaustion.

Panting, he reached over and rubbed the top of her slit gently. She rode it instinctively and prolonged the spasms that for this moment were the center of her existence. Her arms were above her head, her pale pink nipples pointing to the ceiling, and sweat shined on her lean body. Gradually the waves subsided and she relaxed down into the mattress and rubbed her back against the sheets, her eyes closed.

Merle had never seen this expression on a woman's face before but he was pretty sure it was a good sign. She looked like she might purr. She opened her eyes and regarded him lazily. "I want more," she said simply.

He stretched his body out and looked at the small red bible jammed against the wall. He turned and smiled at her like an alligator. Best gift he ever got.

**Nope, I don't think we're done. Stay tuned.**


	10. Chapter 10 - Showdown

**I figured it was best to publish a short one than to keep people waiting for a long one. I'm still figuring some things out. But never fear - Beth's education will continue in the future :)**

Showdown

Tension in the prison was high. The men had returned from Rick's meeting with the Governor with terrible news: give up Michonne or die. The group unanimously voted to keep Michonne, so they prepared for war.

Rick addressed the group. "We gotta strike quick, as soon as possible - this means tonight. The longer we wait the more time they have to build their defense. We know they've armed everyone in town. The good thing is that most of those people couldn't hit the broad side of a barn because they never held a gun before. The bad thing is, there's a hell of a lot more of them than us."

They worked into the night devising a plan based on Merle's knowledge of the compound and their artillery. They decided to split into three groups - Rick and Michonne, Merle and Daryl, and Maggie and Glen. "I want to go", said Carol. "I can shoot." Daryl shot a forbidding look at her. "No", he said curtly. Beth looked around. "I can go," she said firmly in her soft voice. Merle's head snapped up. "No," he growled.

Rick made the decision. "Carol and Beth, I need you to help Carl and Hershel to hold the prison. And you're the best two to keep Judith." Carol and Beth looked at each other resignedly and nodded in affirmation.

While the others planned their entry, Carol and Beth busied themselves fortifying the living area of the prison and the tower with food, water and ammo. Their exit strategy if the prison yard was breached was to retreat to a cleared portion of the tombs that was already stocked with baby supplies, food, water and ammo. "If we end up in there it's all over," thought Carol, shaking her head.

When they returned Rick went over the attack plan. Maggie and Glen would create a diversion at the main entrance to Woodbury with grenades and flash bombs, and pick off any defenders that exited the compound. Merle and Daryl would enter during the melee and secure the arsenal shed. Rick and Mishonne would enter through the back and locate the governor while confusion reigned. Once the compound was secure they'd execute the governor and his high-ranking henchmen to eliminate further threat.

Carol fidgeted. "What about Andrea?" she asked. Daryl glared at her. "What about her? She's a fucking coward," he spat. Carol sighed and replied, "She's one of us. We have to make sure she's OK." Rick pinched the top of his nose and thought of Andrea. He looked at his exhausted group. "I'm sorry Carol, but she's made her bed. She's on her own," he said. Carol looked at the ground in front of her then nodded, wrinkling her brow.

Rick laid out plans for the vehicles and ammo to bring and Beth busied herself loading the cars while Hershel watched the baby. Soon she was sweating from hauling weapons. She saw Merle watching her and she picked up her pace. He watched her ponytail bounce between her shoulder blades as she carried two heavy ammo cases out of the cellblock. _My little tough one_, he thought. He only needed one reason in the world to make it back safe.

Soon they were loaded up and the plans were reiterated in detail. "OK, you got 15 minutes then we go," said Rick, leading Carl into the cellblock for a man-to-man talk. Beth looked at the loaded cars and her shoulders slumped. She was OK when she had something to keep her hands busy but now the reality was hitting her that they could all be dead within the next day or two. Or even worse that the people attacking Woodbury could be dead soon, shattering the group and leaving the weakest to fend for themselves.

Or Merle. Merle could be dead in the next few hours, leaving her alone. She pressed her lips together and fought the tears stinging her eyes and raised her hands to her face to push them back.

She heard him approach. "Stop that now," Merle said gruffly, "Come on." He guided her into the prison kitchen and brushed the tears out of her eyes. "I don't wanna see none of that, hear?" he murmured. She sniffed and nodded, forcing herself to buck up. She looked over at the nearest table and walked to it. They straddled the bench so her back was against the front of him, his arms like steel around her chest. Her arms wrapped around his and they sat pressing their bodies together.

Merle buried his nose in her hair then rubbed his cheek on the soft skin on the back of her neck. "You listen to me, I'm comin back to you little girl. Aint nothin that can stop me", he murmured in his scratchy voice. She turned her head slightly towards him and tightened her arms around his. She nuzzled the side of his face. She silently mouthed 'I love you' against his cheek, but couldn't stop the two tears that fell from dripping onto his arms. His legs tightened around her hips, completely engulfing her.

She bent her head in prayer over their intertwined arms and began to recite the prayer for protection. Her voice became steadier as she continued through the prayer. At the end she paused and added, "Lord, please protect our family, let no harm come to them. And please protect Merle because I love him with all my heart. Amen." she whispered. He bent his head and brushed his lips on her cheek. "Amen," he whispered.

Hershel paused in the doorway to observe his daughter praying with Merle. _It seems the man really does love her_, he thought. _God's wonders never cease_. _And now we pray for an even bigger miracle - safety._

Merle slowly rocked Beth as they sat in silence, the minutes ticking away. Rick's call echoed through the cellblock. "Time", he yelled. Beth nodded, took a deep breath then stood up to follow Merle to the prison yard. The cars were loaded and idling and Carl was ready at the gate. Merle turned to face Beth, pulled her towards him to kiss her hard on the mouth, then he swiftly walked to his vehicle without looking back.

She looked around to see that Carol was next to her with Daryl. "I'm not going to say goodbye," Carol said to him, giving him a pained crooked smile. Daryl nodded and walked halfway to the car, then stopped. Unexpectedly he turned around, walked quickly back to Carol and swept her up for a long passionate kiss. When they parted she blushed and laughed, her eyes sparkling. He smiled at her then joined Merle in the car.

"Yer a damned fool," groused Merle when Daryl slid into the passenger seat. Daryl sneered at him and said "Caint help it if she can't keep her hands off me". Merle snorted and they pulled through the prison gate.

**I'm a sucker for Caryl, sorry :) I promise there will be a lot of Meth time in the future.**

**Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11 - Death Smiles

**This was the hardest chapter to write because I was nervous about the logistics of attacking Woodbury in the first place, but then when 'This Sorrowful Life' aired Merle's death just knocked the wind out of me. I almost stopped writing the story, but since I had the next two chapters already written it seemed dumb not to write thi one. I may have to update with more accurate info on weaponry :) Just suspend disbelief for now, gentle readers.**

**FYI: I will not let go of Merle and Beth's story, or of Daryl and Carol's- they're flawed and beautiful.**

**Citation: I owe the idea of banking Woodbury's walls with bodies to Conch Republican at WalkingDeadforums. I own nothing related to the TWD comic book or TV show**.

Death Smiles

The people of Woodbury were armed and ready. The front and back walls of the town were populated with experienced shooters and inexperienced townsfolk who were pacing nervously back and forth and peering into the dark. Dead bodies had been placed around the sides of the town to draw walkers into the perimeter, further insulating the town from attack. Merle moved the binoculars from his eyes and spat on the ground. "Smart. But one breach and they gotta walker problem. Could be a big distraction," he said quietly.

Rick used the binoculars to scan the walls. "Those newbies are gonna run when things get heavy," he said in reference to the untrained townsfolk. "They need a good scare. How many hand grenades we got?" Maggie replied instantly "Twenty." Merle leered at her. "I'd like to know where you got them hid, lady." Daryl cursed under his breath. Maggie and Glen sneered at him and turned to listen to Rick.

Rick addressed Maggie and Glen. "You gotta get close on foot, they've got armor piercing weapons and they'll annihilate a car if they see it. They'll have armed vehicles patrolling. You've got to get close enough to use that," he nodded at the rifle-mounted grenade launcher they recovered from the prison. "You get close enough to blow shrapnel up into that wall and scare them good. They'll run and hole up in their houses where they're safe - most of them will be hidin', not shootin back," he said.

Merle nodded. "Then we're left with the pro-fessionals," he warned. "They'll be fightin' back and they gotta lot more toys than us." Rick looked at Maggie and Glen. "You two keep hidden and keep movin' so they can't draw a bead on you. Your only goal is to distract and pick off any humans that come outta that compound." Maggie and Glen nodded.

"Merle and Daryl, you look for an entry point," Rick said. Merle nodded. He had riveted the steel walls around the compound and knew the building layouts by heart. There were at least two buildings that had potential entry points along the sides.

"We gotta take the walkers out quiet," Merle mused to Daryl, who nodded in affirmation. "OK," said Rick. "Michonne and I will follow you in, then we'll divert the back wall while you get to the arsenal shed and blow up armed vehicles. Then we'll find the Governor." They all looked around at each other in the stillness of the night. What do you say when you're all likely to die within the next few hours? "Good luck," said Rick softly.

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The next eight hours seemed to last a week - a week blurred by smoke, blood and explosions. Maggie and Glen got hung up with walkers early so the front wall diversion didn't happen until well after the others had gained access to the town.

Merle and the others were almost caught twice by armed patrols as they made their way to the side of the compound. They silently took out sentries and walkers and eventually gained access to an office building with Michonne and Rick in tow. They entered the building quietly and negotiated a trip wire trap in the hallway. The first floor was dark and uninhabited. They moved carefully to the window to survey the street. There were armed sentries in each doorway, most of them townspeople, and multiple bonfires lit along the central street.

"Ready?" Rick whispered. They looked at each other a final time and Rick nodded. Michonne and Rick slipped out a side door to move through the shadows towards the rear wall. Soon Daryl and Merle heard the first volley of hand grenades hitting the back wall. "That'll stir 'em up," said Merle quietly. Daryl watched through the window. "Yeah, problem is, everybody's running the opposite way we need to go, can't blend in with them." Volleys of gunfire sounded, then another round of grenade blasts.

Merle was just thinking that Rick and Michonne should get the fuck out of there when he heard the first volley of grenades hit the front wall. Maggie and Glen had finally made it. Now people were running in all directions providing perfect cover for he and Daryl to approach the arsenal shed. They slipped out the front door, trying to use shadows and to blend in with confused townspeople that were running to their homes. They ran past the guarded arsenal shed to give the appearance of ignoring it, then ducked in between two buildings to evaluate the security.

Merle swore. "They got three guys at the entrance, and three trucks fully loaded and ready to attack the prison". Daryl looked at Merle. "You got that piece of Semtex?" he said. Merle pulled the small rectangle of putty out of his pocket and Daryl fastened it to an arrow. They rigged it with a blasting cap. Daryl put the arrow in his crossbow and fired, hitting a wooden sign mounted to the front of the arsenal building. Seconds later there was a deafening blast and the ground shook. The three guards were on the ground, either dead or knocked out, and there was a gaping hole in the front of the building.

Merle and Daryl ran to the arsenal shed and peering through the smoke. They grabbed a couple of high-powered semiautomatics and shot everyone who neared the shed entrance. Once the entrance was cleared they emerged, lobbing grenades into the three heavily armed trucks then took cover behind a neighboring brick building. Only two of the grenades detonated, exploding the vehicles and scattering artillery, those explosions triggered a gas tank explosion in the third. One goal down - the most heavily armed vehicles were now taken out and the flaming shrapnel falling from the trucks set off several smaller explosions of ammo in the arsenal shed.

As people milled around in confusion, Daryl and Merle picked those off that approached the arsenal. Merle spoke through gritted teeth, "One more good hit to that arsenal and it's gone." He and Daryl pulled out the remaining hand grenades, looked at each other and nodded. They ran full tilt towards the arsenal, mowing down anyone who stood in their way. When inside, they pulled the pins with their teeth and lobbed the grenades into the ammo storage area.

They bolted from the arsenal shed, but the spray of rubber riot bullets that caught them prevented them from ever seeing the fireworks they caused.

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Merle and Daryl woke up in a large comfortable room that had a teacher's desk in the front. The kid's desks had been pulled to the periphery to make a circular space in the center. Rick was sprawled out on the floor off to the side of the teacher's desk, handcuffed and unconscious. His head was soaked with blood. An armed guard sat in a chair beside Rick and two more flanked Merle and Daryl. Michonne's sword leaned against the wall behind the desk.

Seated at the teacher's desk was the Governor, flanked by Martinez and Allen who were both heavily armed. Andrea was tied to a chair against the wall behind the governor, she was crying. The Governor watched as Merle and Daryl struggled to their feet. The both required help of the guards because they were also handcuffed, Merle above the elbow. Merle's arm blade had been removed from his metal stump covering.

"Good morning," said the governor gaily. "I hope you've enjoyed your overnight stay. I'm afraid breakfast is not included in the package."

"Neither is riot gear," growled Merle, feeling the blooming bruises all over his body. The governor laughed. "Yes, I understand those rubber bullets are quite painful." Daryl grunted. The guards pulled Daryl and Merle to their feet so they faced the Governor.

The governor appraised them. "We were just waiting for the sheriff to wake up. We don't want him to miss the show." Merle knew that 'the show' consisted of the systematic execution of their group in front of Rick, and that Merle and Daryl would likely be first on the list.

The governor leaned back in his chair and leisurely crossed his legs. "Luckily, I was able to procure some side entertainment for you two gentlemen that I think ought to pass the time nicely," he said genially, then he smiled. "Martinez, why don't you bring out our guests? I'm sure they'd like to see their friends." Merle and Daryl exchanged looks and they thought simultaneously _'Fuck, Maggie and Glen too'_. Martinez smiled and disappeared through the doorway with the guard that had been sitting with Rick.

When the door opened next Martinez entered with another henchman. Martinez was grinning even more cruelly than usual as he yanked a blindfolded Beth through the door. She stumbled and he held her up. Next through the door was a blindfolded Carol. Merle and Daryl exchanged shocked glances, not believing their eyes. The worst-case scenario had happened - the prison had been taken.

The governor situated the women so they stood on either side of him. "Please, ladies, relax," said the governor airily. "Martinez, please take off their blindfolds, we're civilized here." Their blindfolds were removed and they both stood squinting and blinking. Beth looked untouched but Carol had a split lip and was favoring one arm. Both were clean and sporting new clothes that fit them well.

Daryl lunged, only to be knocked to the floor by the governor's men. "What the fuck did you do to her?" snarled Daryl menacingly. "Me? Not a thing", smiled the governor holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Oh, I'm told there was a misunderstanding at the prison that resulted in an altercation but I think that's all been rectified. As you can see, in my care your ladies have been clean, well-fed, and have better clothing than you've ever been able to provide."

Beth and Carol looked around, their eyes adjusting to the change in light. Beth's eyes focused on Merle's unblinkingly. She set her jaw and her slim shoulders straightened. Carol's eyes flicked between Daryl and the guard behind him.

The governor continued, "I have to say, you boys sure got a good setup at the prison. A couple of nice little bed warmers you got here," he said, looking first at Beth then at Carol. "Merle, I do complement you on your fast work. Ya were only at the prison a couple weeks and already you landed the farmer's other daughter - and just a baby at that." The Governor looked down at Beth fondly. She resolutely stared forward, refusing to acknowledge him. He chuckled. "We found her sleepin' in your bunk in less than appropriate apparel." Merle's jaw clenched. "That so?" he said grimly, holding Beth's gaze.

"And now that I've seen both farmers daughters in the flesh as you might say, I have to credit you. It must have been a tough choice between the two of them. I confess the boys and I have not seen anything quite so comely in quite some time", the governor said smoothly while rubbing Beth's upper arm with his finger. Merle shifted his steely gaze to the governor and his lips curled up in a wide smile that left his eyes as cold as a snake's. The effect was chilling. Merle addressed Beth without breaking his gaze on the governor. "He rape you Sugar?" he rasped. "No", Beth replied.

"Ah, she has a voice!", said the governor jovially. "She wouldn't say a word to any of us. Not one peep, even when we knocked her father around. He's around here somewhere, he's probably still alive," said the governor dismissively, clearly enjoying Merle's undivided attention. Merle's eyes coldly regarded the governor but he was talking to Beth. "He take your clothes off? Touch you?" he asked Beth in a menacing whisper. "Yes", she said simply.

Andrea gasped and started to cry. "It's true what you did to Maggie," she said hoarsely. The Governor ignored her.

Merle's grin widened so he was positively beaming, leaving his eyes flat and deadly. The governor smiled back. "Well, it's nice to see you smile Merle," he said. Merle braced his legs and cocked his head. "I want you to remember this smile, Philip," he said drily. "Cause it's the last thing you ever gonna see", said Merle. The governor laughed and turned his attention to Carol.

"This one I have to say though, this one's a fighter. Good match for the bow hunter," he said, looking at Merle and Daryl. Daryl sidled angrily. The governor continued, "We weren't quite sure who she belonged to but we eventually figured it out from something the old man said." His eyes twinkled as he regaled the story. "Oh, at first she was nice and quiet - real polite to my boys in fact. Til they tried to take that baby from her." Carol's chin trembled, then she gritted her teeth and looked into Daryl's blazing eyes.

"Yep, hear tell she fought like a tiger," the governor continued, stroking the side of her cheek. Carol kicked him and he gripped her hurt arm roughly. She stifled a scream of pain and closed her eyes.

The governor smiled down at Carol with mock fondness. "She stabbed one of my guys with the knife she had hidden in the baby carrier. So, they had to get a little rough with her. She dropped the baby when she took the hits, but the baby's fine. Cooin' and gigglin with one of our women right now," the governor finished.

He looked pointedly at Daryl. "Anyway, I want to assure you that me and the boys have all taken a thorough look at her to make sure she's got no more injuries. And please let me say while she's not as young as the other two, she's quite easy on the eyes, Mr. Bow hunter. A fine choice."

Carol's gray eyes were hard, she had now lost all she was willing to lose. She returned Daryl's gaze unflinchingly. Daryl's chest heaved, he was gonna kill this son of a bitch. Carol's lip curled as she addressed Daryl. "Kill him," she said through clenched teeth, "even if you have to kill me to do it." The governor laughed and brushed a finger on her cheek.

Just then the door to the room opened and a young guard, probably a recruited townsperson, led Carl in. Carl looked around the room and his eyes settled on Rick. "Dad!" he screamed, and ran towards his father. He turned his dad on his back and touched his face. "Wake up Dad, are you OK? Dad, are you OK?" There were tears in his eyes as he looked up at the adults. "Is my dad OK?" he asked the governor.

The governor smiled once again. "I'm sure he'll be just fine son! He'll definitely want you here to see the show. Why don't you just keep trying to wake him up?" Carl turned back to his dad and wiped the blood off his face with his T-shirt. He tried to wipe the blood off of the sheriff's uniform shirt and badge his dad had worn for the attack. "Come on Dad!" he said urgently, and started to cry.

Daryl sneered in disgust as he looked at the governor. It takes a sadistic bastard to torture a kid this way, and Carl was obviously not taking it well, he was crying like a little kid. In fact Daryl hadn't seen Carl cry like this since they shot Sophia. He felt his heart tug as Carl placed his hands on Rick's chest, his sheriff's hat shielding his face as he dropped his face to sob against his shirt.

The governor turned his attention back to Merle and Daryl. He gestured broadly and said, "Why don't we start the show? My boys have some things planned for the ladies that I think you too will enjoy. In fact I may even join in just for fun! I think we'll start with the..."

He stopped abruptly and raised his hands to his throat, from which now protruded a glittering piece of metal. Next to him there was a clatter as Allen screamed and dropped his gun. Allen reeled and clutched his eye, which also sported a piece of protruding metal.

In the confusion Carl ran to Andrea and used his remaining throwing star to slice the restraints binding her hands. She fell to the floor and grabbed the gun dropped by Allen. She shot him as she and Carl took cover behind the desk. The guards shot towards the desk, trying not to hid the governor.

The kid that brought Carl in dropped his gun and raised his hands in the air in surrender, backing into the wall and away from the volley of bullets. Daryl and Merle simultaneously barreled into the guards flanking them, knocking them off balance. In the meantime, Carl had severed the restraints on Beth and Carol.

"Martinez", Carol whispered to Beth. Martinez was covering Merle and Daryl who were pulling against their restraints. Beth nodded and they both rushed him, their small bodies hitting his around the midsection before he could squeeze a round off. They fell to the floor in a tangled mass, Martinez brandishing his gun.

The governor was turning blue, still clutching at his throat, dropping to his knees behind the desk. Martinez hissed and rolled, throwing the women off of him and pulling a knife from his boot. He lunged for Beth, viciously swinging his blade at her face. She ducked and it missed her eyes by less than an inch.

Carol, who was now behind Martinez, scrambled to her knees, reached between his legs and grabbed his balls, twisting as hard as she could. He bellowed in rage and turned to her when two shots rang out. Carl had shot Daryl's guard with the governor's gun at the same time that Andrea shot Merle's guard. Merle crouched and ran toward Martinez, launching his powerful body at the man's torso and both went down, trapping a screaming Carol underneath.

Beth ran to the pile of bodies and with the help of Daryl disarmed Martinez, who caught Beth's arm with his knife in his final throes. Merle struggled to his feet and used his boot to pin Martinez to the floor by the neck. "Get these goddamned cuffs off me!" roared Merle. Carl and Andrea found the keys to the cuffs and freed Merle, Daryl and Rick, who was still unconscious. "He's breathing," said Andrea. She checked Rick's eyes, they were responsive. "Looks like a bad concussion," she said.

Beth helped Carol up gingerly. Carol was crying and clutching the injured arm that hung uselessly at her side. Carol wiped blood from her nose and took a deep breath, forcing her tears away. She walked slowly to the front of the room to join Daryl, who was attacking the governor in a frenzied rage. Spit was flying from Daryl's mouth as he pummeled the governor's face and dodged his fists. The governor reeled and fell to the floor, scratching at Daryl's face with his hands.

Merle glanced from Martinez to Daryl. "Leave him alive, little brother," he warned. Daryl kneeled above the governor's chest and his arms corded as he continued to beat his face, he clearly out of control. Andrea ran to Daryl and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Leave him alive, Daryl!" she shouted. The governor's face was a mass of bruised and split flesh and when Daryl's fists stopped it lolled back onto the floor.

Daryl was gasping for air, his eyes wild and glazed. He looked for Carol and she was right by his side. She looked at him steadily with no expression on her face, her good arm wrapped around herself to protect her hurt arm. He realized that she had been close to him the whole time and never tried to stop him. She lifted her chin then nodded. He braced his hands on the floor and dropped his head to catch his breath.

Merle turned back to Martinez, a cruel sneer on his face. He dropped himself down to one knee so he was sure that Martinez would hear him. In mock gentleness Merle trailed his metal stump down the side of Martinez's face. Martinez was panting in fear.

Beth moved close to Merle and she heard him say tenderly, "I hope you saw that perfect little set of titties on her. I can tell you they just as nice as they look, and they taste like... mmmmmm... taste just like honey on a summer morning." Merle regarded him lovingly as he continued. "And her pussy, well son let's just say it defies description." Merle pursed his lips and tilted his head, he appeared deep in thought as he gently stroked Martinez's chin.

Merle stood up slowly with his lips still puckered in a soft kiss. Then he kicked Martinez in the throat, and proceeded to beat him to death with one bare fist.

And Beth Greene saw the monster that lived inside of Merle Dixon.

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He saw everything through a haze of red. He heard voices shouting, one of which was his own. He saw his fist hammering Martinez's face, which was now reduced to hamburger. He was high on the rage flowing through him, floating in euphoria. He never wanted it to end. His right hand joined in, the metal crushing the skull into fragments and flattening Martinez's face. He was about to move his assault down to Martinez's chest when he heard her voice.

Beth was standing next to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Stop," she said quietly. His fists slowed and he realized that he was spattered in blood and tissue. He gasped for breath, exhaustion and pain momentarily registering. His head dropped as he labored for breath. She bent down and slowly put her hand on his cheek, turning his face to her. His teeth were clenched, teeth bared. She looked into his frantic eyes. "Let it go," she said simply.

He didn't want to let it go, this rage helped him, had carried him through life, he depended on it. He hated her for trying to take this vital part of himself, it was the only part of himself he really knew. His eyes blazed at her in hatred and his muscles tensed. She got down on her knees, keeping her hand on his face, and softly stroked her thumb on his cheek. "Let it go," she whispered, raising her other hand to the other side of his face.

He felt a deep pain in his core and fought against the internal battle. _Self righteous bitch, she was going to give him an ultimatum now, to fucking deny everything he was? Everything he thought he was? She, the one he couldn't live without? _He shuddered and the pain moved into his chest, his throat, choking him, suffocating him. He glared at her. _Fuck you_, his mind raged. _Fuck your religion. Fuck your God. Fuck your love. Fuck your young body. Fuck your strength. Fuck your trust. Fuck your faith. Fuck your voice._

The turmoil in his eyes was impossible for her to bear. Slowly Beth placed her forehead on his, her hands stroked his cheeks. _Give it to me, _she thought, trying to send the message to him by touch. When her skin touched his he jumped as if shocked and the compressed air rushed out of his chest in a hoarse gasp. _Good_, she thought. _Come on_. Merle sucked in fresh air as if he were drowning. _Fuck, I love you. I love you more than the high. _

He lifted his arms around her neck to pull her face closer to his. "It doesn't own you", she whispered in her clear voice. Merle pulled in ragged breaths of fresh air, softly moaning in relief that the pain was gone. Nothing mattered but the touch of her skin on his face.

She held him until his breathing calmed then pulled back to regard him. His mouth hung partly open, his face relaxed. His black eyes had calmed to blue and he searched her face. She kissed him softly on the mouth and they both struggled to their feet. "The governor," she said, nodding towards the desk.

Merle looked at the rest of the group. Andrea and Carl had searched the town guard to make sure he had no more weapons then told him to go home to his family. Carol and Daryl had collected weapons from the guards' bodies and piled them on the desk. They shot each in the head to make sure they didn't turn.

The governor lay unconscious on the floor, the points of the throwing star jutting out of his throat. Merle squatted beside him and pulled the star far enough out to remove the airway blockage. In minutes the governor was conscious and twitching. The group gathered around to watch.

Merle smiled at him when his eye opened. "Hey there Phillip. Betcha dint think things would turn out this way, did ya?" He chuckled soflty. "Hell, ya got whacked by a kid," he smirked. The governors eyes were swollen almost shut but Merle could see he was watching him. "Yer only alive cause tha throwin star's still in yer windpipe, makin a seal. If someone were to pull it out, could get ugly." The governor was looking at him. Merle fingered the star, still smiling. "I'm gonna take it slow and easy with ya Philip because I want everyone to enjoy this. But rest assured, when it's over Andrea won't let you turn to no walker."

Andrea sobbed and kneeled next to the governor's head. "I'll bury you next to Penny," she whispered to him. The governor tried to nod then closed his eyes as Merle slowly guided the throwing star down his throat, slicing the trachea open. For the next few minutes the room was filled with the ghastly sound of air rushing out of the governors lungs and his pharynx struggling to pull in more through the slit. Blood and fluids foamed around the wound, then finally it was over.

They all stepped away, staring at the body in silence. Beth moved into Merle's arms and he grasped her tightly, his jaw resting on her head. Slowly they all returned to the moment. "Cool", said Carl, looking at the slashed neck.

Merle looked at Carl. "Hey short stack," he said. "Where'd you have them stars hid?" Carl smiled, his eyes crinkling. "It was my idea. We put them in the sweatband of my hat," he said triumphantly. They thought back to Carl's show of collapsing on his dad's chest. Merle laughed, enjoying the free flow of air through his chest, and regarded Carl with pride. "Kid, you one tough little fucker" he said.

**Hi Readers, legitimate smut to follow! Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12 - Coming Down

**Just a little bit o' smut, next chapter will have more. I'm trying rein it in a bit to get back to Beth and Merle's story.**

Coming Down

Later they pieced together their individual stories to get a picture of those fateful days. Maggie and Glen remembered that they had entered the compound after the arsenal exploded; and it was they who found Hershel crumpled in a cell in the Governor's basement, his remaining leg broken and his face bruised. Andrea, the newly elected interim governor of Woodbury, found a two-bedroom apartment across the street from the governor's apartment to house them until Hershel could get around on his own.

Rick regained consciousness the evening after his capture, but it was days before he could comprehend the events that were relayed to him. He had no memory of his capture or the fall of the governor. Andrea found him a large space with two bedrooms where he, Carl and Judith could stay until he healed. She also found a nanny to care for Judith daily.

Michonne was found strapped to a barber's chair in an insulated room in the cellar of Milton's laboratory. Her face and arms bore multiple razor cuts and she was severely dehydrated. She told the group that Rick had been bludgeoned with a tire jack by one of the governor's men during the grenade volley on the back wall, and that she attempted to escape but was apprehended one block away. The governor had just begun torturing her when the arsenal blew. She was put up in a small one-bedroom space at the end of town to help with negotiations and planning of the truce between Woodbury and the prison. She and Andrea pledged to walk the long road of forgiveness together in the hopes of saving their friendship.

After the governor died Carol was taken to the infirmary to have her arm examined. They found that it was broken and her shoulder was dislocated. Her screams of pain during the setting drove Daryl to the brink and he flew at the doctors in an uncontrolled fury. Merle had to restrain him for the team to get a splint on her and afterwards he held Daryl as he sagged to the floor. Merle hadn't seen his brother cry like that since they were kids.

Merle and Daryl were peppered with severe bruises from the rubber bullets that had taken them down. They must have been shot from the rear left flank because the bruises started at the backs of their heads and extended to the backs of their upper thighs, both had bruising on their left sides. Several of Daryl's had produced hematomas that had to be drained. He refused anesthesia and instead sat on Carol's bed glowering at everyone in the room as they worked.

Andrea furnished he and Carol an apartment that they used until the group returned to the prison. During that time Carol rarely ventured outside.

The morning the governor died, it was Carl who pointed out to Beth that blood was running out of her sleeve and pooling on the floor. She paled, looked up at Merle and fainted on the spot. She didn't regain consciousness until 30 hours later, when she broke with screaming and crying that lasted through the night. She finally fell asleep in Hershel's room, cradled in Merle's lap and holding Maggie's hand. Hershel advised them all that she was in deep shock and that while the worst was over it would be best for her if she stayed in Woodbury for a couple of weeks to settle her nerves.

Merle's knuckles were heavily taped and he was warned that further nerve damage could cost him the use of his remaining hand. Andrea gave Merle the Governor's apartment to use as he and Beth needed. The first few nights he slept by Beth's side in Hershel's room, then he carried her up to their own place. For the rest of the week she was depressed and slept most of the time, and only left the apartment to visit her father once a day.

Merle's days were occupied with negotiation and rebuilding. Every morning he creaked out of bed, his muscles burning and his joints seizing, to keep tabs on happenings in Woodbury and to discuss the future of the prison with Rick, Daryl, Andrea and Michonne. Each day he stopped in during lunch to check on Beth, usually she was lying in bed with her eyes open, staring idly into space. If he talked to her she'd look at him listlessly and answer, but she never smiled.

He'd stroke her hair and kiss her cheek when he left, then he'd go downstairs and beat the shit out of a tire or a piece of plywood with a crowbar out of frustration and fear. He needed his little girl back, needed to know she was OK. By the time he'd return to her at night she was usually sleeping and after he showered he'd climb in bed with her and hold her until he dropped off.

The week passed and one morning he awoke to find her smiling at him, her head on his pillow and her face close. "Hey missy," he said in a gravelly first-time-in-the-morning voice. Her smile widened. "You're cute when you sleep," she said. Merle ran his hand over his face. "I'm cute alla time, aint ya noticed?" She giggled and he pulled her to him, squeezing her hard.

He could feel her smiling against his chest. He played with her ponytail, flipping it around with his hand. "How 'bout I bring ya a present today?" he asked, forcing his voice to be casual so she wouldn't detect the relief in it. "What kind of present?" she asked. He tilted his head to look down at her. "Well it wouldn't be a present if you knew what it wuz," he said. She snorted softly in his chest and said, "No, that's a surprise!"

He smiled. She was back. "That so?" he said. "How bout it's for me to know and you ta find out?" She thought about it for a few seconds. "OK", she agreed. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and she caught his wrist. She inspected the bandages on his knuckles and softly kissed each one, then placed his hand gently on his chest and laid her cheek over it.

They both closed their eyes and savored each other. She missed his smell and his touch and she knew what he had done for her while she was down. She wanted to take care of him now that she was done being sick. "Will I see you for lunch?" she asked. "Yep, that's when yer gettin yer present," he replied.

As he left he realized he had spent most of the morning with her and hadn't copped a feel, hell hadn't even kissed her. Just being with her had been enough. _Pussywhipped_, he thought to himself.

When he returned two hours later she was still in the same sweats and T-shirt that she had slept in all week, but her hair was brushed and she was sitting on the bed looking through a small pile of books. When she looked up she smiled at him. They ate a lunch of canned tuna and green beans and finished it off with crackers and canned fruit. It was the most she'd eaten all week and he was happy to see some color return to her face.

She had snuck curious looks at him throughout lunch and now looked at him in expectation of the promised gift. "You waitin on sumthin'?" he asked, pretending to forget. She gave a little smile and said "My present."

He reached into his shirt pocket and crinkled something mysteriously. It sounded like...cellophane! She moved forward in her seat like a dog anticipating a treat. He regarded her with a smirk on his face. "Mebbe you wont like it. Mebbe I should just keep it," he teased. She looked at him innocently and his heart melted into his shoes.

He relented. "You take it angel," he said, and placed it into her hand. It was a whoopie pie. A real whoopie pie. She held it like it was a crown jewel, and her mouth formed a little 'Oh'. "Where did you get it?" she asked. He leaned in close to her and held her eyes with his. "I've got my sources," he said in a raspy whisper. The scratchiness of his voice sent a hot wave from her toes all the way to her face, and she blushed. He could make anything sound dirty.

"You feelin' OK?" he asked. "You got a fever?" She gave a small laugh, "No, I feel fine. Good even." She opened the package and took a moment just to smell it. Her mouth flooded with saliva. Her mind reeled - _did they smell this chocolaty before the world ended?_

She opened her eyes dreamily and broke off a piece. When she tried to hand it to him he declined. "Nope, that's for you," he said. She tilted her head at him and kept her hand out. "Go on", he said. She could almost swear there was a smile hiding in his eyes. She screwed her face up in concentration and put the piece in her mouth. She was overwhelmed. It was the most heavenly thing she'd ever eaten. She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes while she chewed it as long as she possibly could.

Merle watching her closely. Her hair hung limply, her skin was sallow and her sweatpants were stained - but with that smile on her face she was the most gorgeous thing he could imagine. She opened her eyes and broke off another piece, eating it the same way. She kept going until the whoopie pie was halfway gone. She licked her fingers and with the zeal of a teenager picked every crumb from the inside of the package.

Beth wrapped the remainder up carefully and put it on the coffee table then leaned back and sighed in deep satisfaction. "Thank you," she said in a sweet voice. A corner of his mouth turned up. "Wasn't nuthin'," he said gruffly. She smiled, and this time her eyes gleamed at him.

He rested his elbows on his knees. "Whatchou gonna do today lttle girl?" he asked. She took a cleansing breath. "I," she said resolutely, "am going to take a shower".

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After Merle extracted a lazy chocolate-flavored kiss from her he left and Beth took some free time to explore the governor's apartment. There were bookshelves with lots of books and various trinkets as well an old TV and a stocked liquor cabinet. What caught her attention were the CD collection and CD player in the living room and the running hot water and the shampoo in the bathroom.

She shed her clothes and entered the bathroom, turning on the shower and marveling at the steam that rose to cloud the mirror. She found some plastic to wrap around her stitches and stepped into the shower. She thoroughly scrubbed herself with a lathered washcloth, then rinsed in hot water.

She opened all the shampoos and smelled each. When she found one she liked she shampooed twice then massaged conditioner in her hair. She rinsed until the hot water ran out, then stepped out of the shower and sighed audibly. Her whole body tingled and she felt so clean. She dried off with a large soft towel and put on an oversized terry cloth robe. She leisurely combed her hair and rubbed it to a shine with a soft towel. Finally she loaded her toothbrush with a heaping pile of toothpaste and scrubbed until her teeth shone.

She smiled and made her way to the recliner in the living room, marveling at the CD player on the table. She popped a CD in and hopefully hit PLAY. Music filled the room and Beth cried with joy. She never thought she'd hear music again. She grabbed a pile of CDs with shaking hands and set them in her lap. She was determined to memorize every note in this collection. She sang with the music, her voice strengthening as she felt the healing move through her body. It felt so good to be alive again.

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When Merle entered hours later, he found her curled up in the chair with her legs tucked under her, fast asleep. Her hair was loose around her face and the CDs in her lap had dropped to the floor. He quickly ducked into the shower to wash the grime off then took a quick look in the mirror. His eyes looked like road maps and they burned with exhaustion. Worrying about Beth had taken its toll and he was ready get a solid night of peaceful sleep. He toweled off and went to the chair, clumsily lifting Beth with both arms and walking her to the bed.

He laid her on the bed as gently as he could with his battered back and stretched out beside her. She sighed softly and snuggled into his neck, and he could feel the warmth rising up from inside her robe. He smelled her hair and wrapped his arms around her, then he was swimming in the blackness of sleep.

When Beth awoke the next morning the room was filled with soft sunshine that was filtered by the window sheers. She looked around to get her bearings and remembered how happy she was yesterday. She smiled to herself then looked at Merle, who was sprawled out diagonally to occupy the maximum area of the queen sized bed. He was face down and his leg was thrown over her hips, his arm across her chest. His breathing was deep and even. _Thank you God_, she thought as she looked at his weathered face and powerful shoulders.

She slipped out from under him and he didn't move. Softly she padded to the bathroom to use the toilet. When she finished she noted a faint trace of blood on the toilet paper. She was starting her period. She rifled the drawers but found no pads or tampons. She sighed, not sure how to handle this one. She'd have to talk to Andrea.

She looked at Merle as she approached the bed. In the soft light she could see the horrific black-centered blue and green splotches on his back and legs. _Now it's time for ME to take care of HIM_, she thought.

She softly padded to the bed and took off the robe, hanging it on a chair back. Merle had awakened but not moved. He regarded her through heavy lidded eyes. She turned towards the bed, the sunlight shining through her hair and illuminating her pale skin. She had a soft smile on her face and her violet eyes shined down on him, pausing on his muscular ass as she slid back into bed.

When she settled he pulled her towards him. "Hey there missy", he said, his voice scratchy. She scooted in as tight as she could. "I love you," she breathed. Merle picked his head up partly off the pillow. "Well aint that a nice sentiment first thang in the mornin?'" he said with mock pleasantness, and she laughed.

She regarded him then leaned in to rub her face on his bristly neck. "I wasn't sure I was going to ever laugh with you again," she said, swallowing. He tilted his chin down and said sternly, "We aint gonna talk about that. From here on out it's just you and me, got it? Nobody's dyin and nobodys goin nowheres." He patted her ass twice for finality. She nodded her head and her arms went around his waist. He held her for a long time while she breathed him in and trailed her fingers on his back.

Soon she was kissing his neck and she moved up to his face, softly chewing on his chin through the bristle. His hand wound in her hair and pulled her head back so he could lick and suck her neck. His handless arm went underneath her waist, lifting it up off the bed and his mouth was on hers, tongue darting in and out in a maddening rhythm.

Beth was gasping, losing herself. She pulled herself together and whispered, "Merle". His voice was muffled in her neck, "Yeah angel". She frowned and said, "I'm starting to bleed, you may not want to...", and trailed off.

Merle looked at her like a wolf eyeing a rabbit. His lips turned up into a smile. "Yer on the rag? You know what that means sugar?" Beth shook her head no. He moved his lips down to her ear and nuzzled. "We don't need no rubbers", he whispered. She turned her head to look at him and saw his eyes were gleaming eagerly.

She smiled widely and surrendered, dropping her head back on the pillow so he could continue working his way down. He went straight for the tits. These were his and there was no living person in Woodbury that had seen them, he'd made sure of that with his own hands. He mouthed them gently first then roughly and she begged him to fuck her.

He took her possessively and hammered her until she squealed in pleasure, her young body writhing underneath his. His only thought as he came was '_Mine_'.

**MMMMMMM, just a little bit of smuttay. We'll go for more in the next chappie :)**


	13. Chapter 13 - Healing

Healing

They lounged in bed and played with each other's bodies. Seeing her slim soft body illuminated by the soft sunlight had awed Merle and he was uncharacteristically silent. An idea struck her and she smiled at him. "I want my whoopie pie," she said. He regarded her and said sarcastically, "And I'm supposed to get up out of this warm soft bed and get it fer ya?" Her face brightened and she nodded in silent assent. He sighed, "Gotta take a piss anyways."

He got out of bed stiffly, visited the bathroom and picked up the whoopie pie on the trip back to the bed. He humphed back into bed and handed it to her.

She pulled the remaining half out and held it in front of his mouth. He took a small bite and reclined his head on his bent arm. She flopped forward onto his shoulder, his hipbone digging into her stomach, and took a small bite. She put her arm up on his chest and rested her chin on it so she could watch his face.

She moved the pie to his mouth and he paused. She touched it to his lips and he took a small bite again. She did the same. They proceeded this way until it was gone. Beth mined the inside of the wrapper for crumbs.

Merle rested his head on the pillow, sinking into darkness. _Christ I need sleep_, he thought.

She put the wrapper on the bedside table and reassumed her position on his chest. His head was on the pillow, his eyes closed. She bent her knees and raised her feet in the air, swinging them back and forth. "What's your favorite whoopie pie?" she asked. He fought to open an eye. "Banana cream", he answered sluggishly. A few seconds ticked by and Merle began to drift off into postcoital slumberland.

She changed the pattern of her leg movement and alternated dropping the left and right, bouncing them alternately. She was ready to spring up and face the day. "Mine's chocolate," she said. "Hmph," he answered. _Like a mosquito buzzin' round my face,_ he thought.

She placed her left cheek on her arms. "What's your favorite color?" she asked. "Black," he answered distractedly. She changed the rhythm of her legs, now double tapping each one on the bed. "Black's not a color. It's the absence of color," she replied.

He raised his head, which felt like it weighed 100 pounds, and tilted his chin down to look at her grumpily. "If ya go to the paint store, ya can buy black paint," he snapped. "It's a color." _What the fuck?_ he thought. _Leave me alone. _

She thought about it. "OK," she said. "Mine's blue. Not dark blue but kind of aqua blue. But not with a lot of green. And not turquoise."

Merle closed his eyes and they rolled up in his head. The breath in his lungs rattled softly in his throat and his body sagged into the mattress.

Beth tilted her head an inspected her nails. "My first name is Bethanne and my middle name is Josephine. What's your middle name?" she asked perkily. Merle lost his temper and jerked his head up. "What the fuck is this, twenty questions? You think I'm one of ya girlfriends?" he growled.

Her legs stopped pumping and she lay still. She was quiet for a few moments. "I guess...I just don't know much about you," she said in a small voice. She focused on a wrinkle in the bed sheet to steady herself. "I'll let you sleep," she said, pain burning in her chest.

His head dropped back and he was snoring almost immediately. She tried to stay still so she didn't disturb him. A tear trickled out of each eye and ran over her stacked wrists and onto his chest. _How can I go from feeling so good to so bad in one second_? she thought. _I guess I'm not very good at this_.

When she was sure he was asleep she slipped out of bed, and made her way to the bathroom. Something warm was running down her leg and she realized that it was his him. _I wanted all of him in me so bad, and now it hurts so bad_, she thought. She cleaned up and silently got into her clothes and exited to go visit Hershel. She was happy to see that he had good color and was in a good mood. He noticed that when his daughter smiled the smile didn't reach her eyes. _She'll tell me about it when she's ready_, he thought.

She had been visiting him for about thirty minutes when Andrea entered. Beth excused herself and pulled Andrea aside to tell her she needed feminine products. Andrea fished around in her bag and pulled out a tampon. She gave it to Beth with the promise that she'd have a box sent up to their room that day.

Andrea then told her how they were short of hands in the nursery. Beth brightened. "I can fill in," she said. Andrea clapped her hands together. "This is perfect, thanks so much Beth." "Anything to help," Beth said, grateful for a reason not to be stuck in the apartment waiting for Merle.

Meanwhile Merle was having a devil of a time waking up. He fought his way through layers of sleep that kept dragging him back under. Finally he forced his eyes to open and he made himself lift his head. The bed and the room were empty. _Where'd little sister go?_ he thought in a haze.

He dropped his head to the pillow and rubbed his eyes, thinking of earlier that morning when her body was supple and wanting under him. _And her with that moon pie, she managed to stretch that thing a ways_, he laughed internally. _And then them questions._ His eyes widened as he stared at the ceiling, his hand running over his face. _And then what I said to her._

_What the fuck did I do? Selfish, stupid, redneck son of a bitch. Treatin' a lady like she's a whore in a pool hall. She probably two counties away by now._

He rolled quickly out of bed and threw his clothes on. He knew she'd likely be with Hershel so he went there first. When he arrived Andrea was talking to Hershel, who was stretched out on the couch with a world atlas open in his lap. Hershel looked up. "Hello Merle. I'm usin my spare time to figure if there's anyplace on this planet without walkers," he said jovially. Merle tried to smile. He rubbed the back of his neck. "You seen missy around?" he asked.

Andrea smiled. "Yeah, she was here a few minutes ago. She volunteered to work in the nursery, so she's over there learning the ropes." Merle nodded curtly and paused. "She seem OK to you?" he asked. Hershel and Andrea looked at each other and nodded. "Sure," said Andrea.

Hershel regarded Merle's wrinkled clothes and rumpled hair. "Are you two all right?" he asked. Merle gave a curt nod and said "Yeah, everythins peachy." and wheeled around to exit. When the door shut Andrea looked at Hershel. "Looks like a guilty conscience to me," she said. "Let the boy learn," he answered.

Merle peeked into the nursery. Beth was holding a toddler and taking instructions from an older woman who showed her around. Her skin glowed and her bound hair streamed town her back. The baby played with Beth's ponytail and Beth paused to rub her nose on the baby's. She bounced her and laughed when the baby laughed. _Fuck, all she needs is a halo, _he thought._ And aint I the biggest shitheel on the planet_.

He swore under his breath and went on with his day. He returned to the apartment for dinner and found it uninhabited. He ducked into the bathroom to wash his face, pausing to assess the deep folds of skin etched around his eyes and his mouth. _She don't deserve none a this shit. None of me_, he thought. _What the fuck was I ever thinkin?_

Beth walked in a few minutes after him. She closed the door gently and when she saw him she dropped her eyes. "How'd you sleep?" she asked meekly.

She was surprised when instead of answering he walked to her and pulled her into his arms. She stiffened at first but then relaxed into him, inching her feet a little closer to his. He smelled like sweat and motor oil. He mouthed the hair and shook his head in silent dissent. "Fuck girle", he said in a gravelly voice.

_I'm surprised she even come back _he thought. "I'm a first class asshole for what I said to ya." When she didn't react he stepped back and looked at her face. She looked down at the floor and shrugged one shoulder feebly. "I didn't mean to bother you," she said, hurt in her voice.

In the past Merle had made it a personal point of pride that in his 40+ years on the planet he had never apologized to anyone for anything. It was part of his credo, part of his code, part of his allure. _Part of my shitty ass fucking excuse for a life_, he thought. _Always takin the easy way out. _

He pulled her closer to him and ran his arms up and down her back to mold her to him. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice gravelly. _Now I know why I avoided it, hurts like hell to say it_, he thought. Beth nodded her head in acceptance, her face still in his chest, which throbbed with pain. He pulled her even tighter and kissed the top of her head_._ "You wanna leave me?" he asked. She shook her head in dissent._ I almost fucked it all up _he thought_. I aint gonna waste this last chance._

She put her arms around his waist and he repeated his apology. They stood for a long time holding each other and healing. Merle kissed the top of her head and sighed deeply. "Maynard," he said. Beth looked up at him questioningly and he continued. "My middle name is Maynard. And you ain't allowed to laugh at that," he warned. She pushed her head into his chest to stifle the giggles bubbling from her chest.

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After dinner Beth watched Merle hitch himself to the bed. He was obviously stiff and when he turned to sit on the bed his side seized and Beth once again saw the yellowing bruises on his skin.

"Get in," she said. "On your tummy." Merle complied grumpily and fell into the bed. Beth shed her clothes and straddled his hips. She had rubbed her Daddy's back before, but never a boyfriend. She was pretty sure that the two cases would probably be different, in fact she was banking on it. "Hang on a minute," she said, jumping up to get a tube of hand cream from the bathroom.

She jumped back into bed and straddled Merle's hips, then squirted hand cream into her palm and rubbed it between her hands to warm it. "Whatcha doin' girly?" he asked. "Shhhh," she said.

She rubbed the cream into his neck softly then used the tips of her fingers to rub out the knots she felt in the muscles. Merle's shoulders relaxed. He'd never had a massage that was non-sexual, as far as he knew they didn't last more than a few minutes and they usually happened below the belt.

When his neck muscles were pliant under her fingers Beth moved to his shoulders. His muscles were so knotted that she had a hard time figuring how to start, so she just settled in a place and worked her way out. She canvassed his shoulders superficially and started working on the biggest knots. When he growled in pain she bent over and softly blew on the spot to make it feel better.

Soon the majority of knots were gone and she rubbed the palms of her hands over the skin to smooth them out. She proceeded to his middle back, then his lower back, digging the heels of her hands into the crests of his hips. Merle tried to wrap his head around this, he'd never had anyone do anything so selfless for him.

"Why ya doin' this?" he asked her, partially lifting his head. "Cause I want to", she said simply. "Because you need it."

"Turn over", she ordered, and he complied. She started working the hand cream into the sides of his neck and throat, then to his collarbones and shoulders and chest.

She ran her hands over his powerful arms. She worked her way to the stump on his right side and massaged his wrist with both hands, then started at the shoulder on his left side. Her face was screwed in concentration as she worked her way to his bandaged hand, which she knew was sore.

She opened his palm and gently rubbed her thumb across it. Merle gasped. This simple gesture was surprisingly intimate and he tensed. She gently rubbed small circles on his palm with her thumb then radiated her thumb strokes from the center of his palm out to each knuckle. Then she gently kissed his palm and held it against her face.

Merle was shaken at the intimacy of her ministrations. Her eyes were closed and her long blond forelock obscured part of her face. He didn't trust himself to talk so he moved his fingers against the soft skin of her face.

She opened her eyes and placed his hand on his stomach, then she tilted her head and kissed him, letting her tongue chart it's own course. The cords of Merle's neck stood out as she gently moved her body against his.

She lifted her head briefly to look at his face but his eyes were unreadable. She smiled playfully and quickly kissed him, then moved to the side of his face and slowly introduced her tongue into his ear. Merle gasped and his body jumped like he'd been shocked. She felt him throbbing against the inside of her leg. He was definitely turned on.

She checked his face again to find a predatory look in his eyes. "I'm gonna fuck you missy," he said through clenched teeth. She smiled again and began to move her lips down to explore him. "We'll see," she answered. She thought about what he did to arouse her and when she reached his nipple she licked and sucked. Merle grunted and his hand squeezed her ass, guiding her hips to his. She gave the nipple a final soft nip with her teeth and his body jerked.

She gently moved his arms away and continued her course downward. Her loose hair trailed his skin, setting him on fire. She lazily kissed his stomach, pausing to investigate his navel with her tongue. He swore and muttered something. She trailed her lips up the midline of his stomach while rubbing her breasts against his hardness. She peeked up to see his chin pointed towards the ceiling, his jaw clenched. His arms were slowly inching down from where she had placed them, so she moved them back up again. _OK, I'm ready_, she thought.

She moved down and eyed his cock with curiosity. It emerged from his dark pubic hair, stiff and straight and bobbed with his pulse. The size of it didn't scare her any more, in fact she craved its girth. His tight scrotum hung underneath, one testicle slightly lower than the other. She had thought about how he always teased her first before he pleasured her and she was determined to do the same.

She nuzzled her face through his pubic hair around the shaft and began to experimentally lick his scrotum, feeling his testicles tighten almost immediately at her touch. Merle was motionless, his breath baited as he watched her golden head working below. _I aint gonna make it two minutes _he thought_, I'm gonna explode. _He stared at the ceiling and fought to keep control.

Beth felt his hips push against her. _OK, that's good_, she thought. She moved her tongue to the base of his cock and worked it like she was licking an ice cream cone, all the way up to the tip. "Little girl," he said threateningly. She traced the outline of the head with the tip of her tongue then engulfed the tip with her mouth. She sucked the tip, at first gently then hard. Merle's hand was trying to pull her off but she pushed it away. A frustrated blast of air whooshed out of his lungs.

Merle couldn't stop his hips from moving, Jesus he had an angel sucking his cock. Beth eventually reached a point where she didn't know how to continue. She thought about her hands that were unoccupied at the moment. She moved one to the base of his shaft and used the other to stroke his balls while she tried to take him as far into her mouth as possible. She could taste the tang of herself mixed with traces of him and she remembered his words " Soon you'll taste us together and you'll like it better than peach pie." She closed her eyes and savored the taste, deciding that she could get used to it, even learn to like since it gave him so much pleasure.

Merle looked down at her, her eyes were closed in concentration and she pulled back to flick her tongue across the head of his cock before she moved down the shaft again. The sight of her caused his hips to jerk and his legs to shake, and his arm hovered over the back of her head as he lost all control, his leg muscles bunching to push his hips up against the pressure of her mouth. She gagged when he rammed into the back of her throat but pressed on, wanting this as much as he did. Within seconds she felt his cock swell even more and he groaned loudly, then there was a warm rush of semen into her mouth.

She bobbed her head a few more times over his stiff cock as he swore a blue streak, and she released him. Then came her dilemma.

What to do with this mouthful of...warm...stuff? _Well, you eat peach pie,_ she thought. She took a deep breath and swallowed it quickly, grimacing. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, but definitely something she'd have to practice liking. It was definitely worth it to get such an enthusiastic response from him. She finally knew that there was something she could do to really please him.

She looked at Merle's sweaty face, he was staring at her in amazement. "Did you just swallow that?" he asked in disbelief. Her eyes rounded and she bit her lip. She nodded. "Wasn't I supposed to?" she asked. Merle's head dropped back on the pillow. "Jesus Christ, I hit the mother lode," he replied.


	14. Chapter 14 - Making UP

**Hi All, thanks again for the great reviews! I have to admit that after last night's finale I'm in a funk - it doesn't seem to me that the writers plan on ever letting Caryl happen, and I'm tired of pushing for it. I had planned on weaving Daryl and Carol Connect in with this story, now I'm not sure. I need a few days to think about whether to change it to Carol and Tyreese or just drop it all together...let me know what you think.**

**That's enough of my bitching - please enjoy this day in the life of Merle and Beth, which I think is my best so far. AND PLEASE REVIEW! I need the love!**

Making up

Beth woke up with a smile. Merle was on late night watch last night and he had promised some together time today after she was done babysitting Judith in the morning. She stretched out on the new double size mattress in their cell. Andrea had sent their group home from Woodbury with lots of great things - real mattresses, clothes, food, books. Beth was most excited about the clothes.

Andrea had also sent a bunch of men from Woodbury to work on closing up remaining breaches and doing a final clearing of the tombs. They were housed in the newly cleared cellblock B. Beth hadn't talked to them much but they all seemed nice and the two groups shared meals together congenially.

She had gone through her new clothes from Woodbury last night and found the cutest outfit that STILL HAD TAGS! It was a spotless pink tank top trimmed in lace and a soft pair of white Aeropostale shorts. She had tried them on last night and they fit perfectly, hugging her curves without being too tight. She even had a brand new pair of white panties. She knew that Andrea had been thinking of her when she sent this outfit.

She brushed her hair and put on her new clothes. They were so soft! She couldn't wait to show Maggie. She heard Judith fussing so she stepped into her boots and went downstairs to relieve Rick. Rick did a double take when he saw her. "Wow Beth, you look great!" he said. "Thank you," she said, smiling. Rick felt his eyes being dragged to her retreating ass as she walked to the kitchen. _Damn, definitely not a little girl anymore_ he thought.

Carol was heating water for Judith's bottle at the stove. "Hi Sunshine," Carol sang to the baby as Beth brought her near. Judith started fussing in anticipation of the bottle and Beth laughed. "I guess she's ready for breakfast!" she said. She took the bottle from Carol and sat with the baby at one of the tables.

"Did Andrea send you that outfit?" Carol asked, "It looks amazing on you." Beth beamed, "Yes, and it still had tags, can you believe it?" Carol smiled, taking pleasure in the small thing that made Beth so happy. _I remember looking like that in cute clothes_, Carol thought wistfully.

Carol busied herself with setting out coffee for the guys coming in off night watch and those getting ready to head out to the tombs. Beth got the bottle into the baby and burped her, laughing when Judith emitted a huge belch. "Do you need help getting breakfast together?" Beth asked Carol. "No honey, I've got it. Do you want to get Judith dressed?" Carol replied.

Beth carried Judith into the cellblock and there were so many blankets hanging off of both of them that Beth's outfit was barely visible. She felt Merle behind her before she saw him. "Hey there sugar," he said, and she tilted her head up for a kiss. "I need a little shuteye", he rasped. "OK, I'll wake you up for lunch," she said. He tickled Judith's stomach and lumbered upstairs.

Beth got Judith changed and took care of her through the morning. She delivered her to Hershel for the afternoon. "So that's the new outfit? Pretty fine." he asked his daughter. He could see that Beth was in love with the ensemble, and couldn't help but notice how it accentuated her long slim legs and soft curves. "It's from Andrea," she said beaming. She bounded upstairs to wake up Merle.

Merle's arms and legs were flung out and he occupied almost every inch of the mattress. She gently lay down on top of him and rested her head on his shoulder. He mumbled something intelligible. "It's lunchtime," she said. "Do you want to sleep more?" He rubbed his eyes. "Naw, I gotta help them get the tombs cleared," he said resignedly.

"I'll eat with you," she said. She kissed his chin and he opened his eyes. She lowered her lips to his and they made out for a few minutes. He groaned, "I aint gonna get outta here doin that sweetness." She smiled and stood up, smoothing her clothes, and waited for him in the doorway.

"Aint ya gonna change?" he asked. She looked at him quizzically, "Change, why? I'm not doing any dirty work today." He looked her up and down and said, "Cuz you aint wearin' that." She gaped at him. "This is a brand new outfit. Andrea gave it to me."

"Y'even got a bra on?" he asked. She pulled the top open a bit to show him the extra panel of fabric underneath. "It's got a built in bra," she said. He looked at the points of her nipples that protruded through the fabric. "Hell no", he said with finality.

Beth could not believe her ears. "This is a BRAND NEW outfit," she said. 'I love it. I look good in it. And I'm wearing it," she finished, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Ya listen to me little girl", Merle said, his voice rising. "Y'aint walkin outside in front of them men hangin it out like some kinda goddamned virgin sacrifice. Now go put on some jeans and a T-shirt."

All teenagers, no matter how angelic they are, will at some time in their life buck authority. Merle did not know that before the world fell apart Beth valued cute clothes over all other things. And now that clothes meant stained rags that you wore just to be decent, she was going to fight to the death over this outfit.

She set her jaw. "It's hot out," she said. "And I'm nice and cool in my new outfit. My daddy didn't say a thing about it when he saw it, so in my book it's OK."

Then Merle made the fatal mistake. "You are mine," he seethed, stepping closer to her, his voice echoing through the cellblock, "and you will do what I say when I say it. And I'm sayin' you're not goin outside in that outfit. Period."

Beth's eyes narrowed. She appeared to be thinking. Suddenly she smiled. "Fine," she said. "Eat lunch by yourself, I'm staying here with my outfit."

Merle's face began to color. "Missy yer gonna eat lunch and yer gonna like it," he threatened. "Sorry," she said, plunking down and taking off her boots. "I'm not hungry, I suddenly feel like a nap."

"Fine," he said, turning. "Set yer stubbern ass in here all day."

He swore as he crashed down the stairs and made his way to the kitchen. Daryl was smirking at him. "Trouble in paradise brother?" he asked. "Go fuck yerself," Merle replied as he walked past to get his plate for lunch.

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After lunch was over Beth put on jeans and a button up shirt and helped Carol wash dishes and get dinner prepped. "Everything OK?" Carol asked. Beth smiled. "Just fine," she said smugly. "I can take water out to the guys today." Carol looked relieved, "Good, I've got laundry to catch up on with all these extra people" she said, picking up a sack full of clothes.

Beth filled two buckets with water bottles and picked a bucket up with each hand. The sun in the prison yard was merciless and the men were thirsty. She distributed water to people around the perimeter and tower and picked up the empty water bottles from the morning water break. She was sweating pretty good by the time she circled the motor pool and entered the tombs. Merle was there with five other men including Glen and Daryl, and they were covered in zombie gore.

He watched her come in and smirked when he saw that she had changed clothes. She coolly walked past him, exchanged full water bottles for empty ones and made sure to smile warmly at the Woodbury men. She greeted Daryl and Glen then she turned and left, pointedly ignoring Merle. He heard Glen snort behind him. "You've got a long night ahead of you dude," said Glen.

Merle glared at him. "What the fuck you talkin' about? Glen laughed. "That's first class silent treatment. You're in flowers and candy territory and if you're lucky she might let you sleep in your own bed tonight." Merle took a swig of water. "That hen's awright, she knows who rules the roost." Glen choked on his water and Daryl shook his head and raised his eyebrows. _What the fuck do they know?_ thought Merle

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Merle helped get the bodies into the burn pile after the slaughter and was one of the last to make it in for a shower. He scrubbed the grime off and jumped into a clean set of clothes then headed to the kitchen for dinner. Everyone was seated and eating. _Hope it's meat_, he thought. _Need somethin that'll stick to my ribs_.

He made his way to the table he shared with Beth and her family and sat down, nodding to Hershel and looking around the room his woman. His young woman. His young woman who was delivering bowls of food to hungry Woodbury guys. His young woman who was wearing a pink tank top and soft white shorts that clung to her slim lines like a second skin, with cowboy boots that hiked her tight little ass up and made it jiggle under the velvety fabric.

Beth smiled at the Woodbury men and handed them the bowls, then turned to see Merle's blazing eyes boring into her from across the room. She smiled at him triumphantly then got them both plates of food and sat down across from him. "Long day?" she asked innocently.

Merle's eyes shot daggers and he said very slowly, "I told you not to wear that." She smiled at him. "No, you said don't wear it outside. I'm wearing it inside." He tried to breathe in slowly. "I told you not to wear it outside our room" he said in cold restraint. She smiled and looked him in the eye, "I didn't interpret it that way." And she tucked her napkin in her lap and proceeded to eat her dinner.

Merle was at the boiling point. Not only was she disobeying him, she was doin' it in public. His left hand clutched the edge of his seat and vessels were popping out of his neck. His voice raised above the dinner chatter. "I tell ya what girlie. Yer gonna go upstairs and change. NOW." The room became quiet and people started fidgeting, especially the Woodbury guys. Every single one of them had gotten an eyeful of Beth tonight, every single one of them wanted to defile her in that outfit, and every single one of them had seen what an angry Merle could do.

She calmly ate. "All my other clothes are in the wash," she said sweetly. That was it. Merle felt something snap and he roared, "Girlie, you get up there and change them clothes or I'll bust yer ass!" Hershel's eyebrows raised and he cleared his throat, looking at Merle. Merle bit his words back and grabbed her wrist from across the table.

She looked at him, shocked. "I'm eating," she said. He stood up without breaking his grip, pulling her across the center of the table. "It's about time ya start obeyin yer elders!" he spat. She looked at him defiantly. "You're not my elder, you're my boyfriend!" she said, her voice rising with his.

He jerked her wrist and yelled, "Dontya give me that shit little girl. I'm old enough to be yer daddy." Beth's eyes narrowed and a muscle in her jaw worked. She pulled her wrist out of his grasp and yelled back, "Technically Merle, you're old enough to be my GRAND-daddy." And with that, she turned on her heel and flounced into the cellblock, her ponytail bouncing adamantly between her shoulder blades. They heard the stomp of cowboy boots on the second level and the slamming of a cell door.

In unison, the Woodbury guys dropped their plates and evacuated the kitchen to tend the fire. Rick cleared his throat nervously and took Carl to join them. Glen looked at Maggie. "Um, about that walk?" he squeaked, and she nodded in relief. Only Hershel, Daryl and Carol were left to moderate. They looked at each other with trepidation.

Merle ducked his head and wolfed down his food. He dropped his plate on the table, stood up in one swift motion and strode to the stairs purposefully. The cellblock was silent as he mounted the stairs and strode to their cell.

In the kitchen the sound of a locked cell door repeatedly being shaken on its hinges came through, then voices ringing through the cellblock.

"Unlock this door!"

"I want to be alone."

"You'll be alone when I tell you you can be alone."

"You're not the boss of me! Go sleep somewhere else."

"Missy, yer testin me and it aint funny." Pause. "Open the fucking door."

"No."

Violent rattling of the door. "Ya gonna play it this way?"

There was cold silence as Beth turned her back to the door. Merle pursed his lips, made his way down the stairs and without looking at anyone stalked to the key ring that hung by the cook stove.

Daryl nervously scratched his head and cautioned "Merle". Merle's stride didn't break as he purposefully ignored Daryl, angrily snatched the key ring and made his way back to the stairs. Hershel looked up. "Boy takes more learning than most," he sighed.

The keys jingled as Merle hopped the stairs and approached the cell. In the kitchen there was the sound of tumblers clicking followed by the squeak of the opening cell door. A few seconds later there was a shriek followed by the clatter of cowboy boots on concrete.

"Let me go!"

"Gonna learn you some manners."

"No!"

Merle grunted loudly and Beth screamed.

"You can't do that to me!"

"Watch me."

Another scream, sounds of scuffling. Pause.

"Gonna done what yer pappy shoulda done long ago!"

"Stop!"

"This is fer sassin' me." Then the unmistakable sound of a bare hand slapping bare flesh.

"Eeeeeeeeeergh," Beth screamed through clenched teeth in surprised anger.

Downstairs Hershel pursed his lips together and looked at Daryl and Carol. "I'm going for a walk outside," he stated. "Would you mind...?", he asked, tipping his head towards the cellblock entrance. Daryl nodded, shifting his eyes. _Now I've gotta babysit that asshole?_ he thought. Hershel got up to leave and Daryl and Carol moved to the entrance of the cellblock to hear what was going on.

The exchange continued upstairs.

"Stop it. That hurt!"

"This is for that pink top."

Slap. "Eeeeeeeeeergh," Beth screamed, rage in her voice. Sounds of a brief struggle, and of cowboy boots hitting the metal bed frame then hitting the wall as they flew off of kicking feet.

"Kick all ya want girlie, aint gonna hurt me! Stay still!"

A high scream followed by uncontrollable belly laughter. Then her angry voice, "Stop it, stop it. Merle! Don't tickle me."

"Then stay still."

Slap, followed by a feminine grunt.

"That's fer them goddamned shorts."

Silence.

"Think yer tough huh? This is fer you not obeyin' me."

"I'm not married to you! " she said defiantly.

Slap.

"That so? Ya need more learnin?'

Silence.

More silence, then a surprised grunt of pain from Merle. "Ya gonna try a cheap shot? I've kicked the shit out of men for less than that."

Slap.

"Whacha gotta say to that girlie?"

Silence.

"So ya not talkin' to me now?"

Pause.

"Fine, I can be quiet too. Mebbe I'll just think of somethin else you need learnt."

Minutes of silence.

"Whatcha got to say now?"

Silence.

"Well?"

Silence.

"Sugar?"

Then in surprise, "What the hell ya cryin for?"

Silence.

"You think cryin's gonna get you outta this?

Silence.

"I caint help ya if I dont know why ya cryin."

Soft mumbling.

"Heh?"

Pause.

Sternly, "Girlie."

Pause with muffled mumbling.

Exasperated. "Well yeah I love ya. Why do ya think I'm hittin' ya?,"

Pause.

Muffled mumbling

"Cause I cain't stand other guys looking' at ya."

Muffled mumbling.

"Fuck yeah, yer pretty. Aint I told ya that a hundred times?"

Pause with soft mumbling.

"Yeah I want ya to be pretty for me. You always pretty angel."

Soft mumbling.

"Stop that now. Ya know I aint goin' nowheres."

Soft mumbling.

"I dont wanna see you cry no more."

Soft mumbling.

"Stop cryin now."

Silence.

"I was wrong, I shouldn't a spanked ya. I aint never doin it again."

Silence.

"Angel"

Silence.

"I shoulda talked to ya instead of blowin my gasket."

Soft mumbling.

"Cmere then. I'm sorry for bein an asshole."

Downstairs Carol looked at Daryl and sighed. The situation seemed to be in control.

Carol relaxed and took a moment to sit at a nearby table. She patted the seat next to her, smiling. Daryl smiled and sat next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder. He held her hand and kissed the top of her head. Carol closed her eyes and savored the silence.

Then Merle's voice drifted into the kitchen.

"Heh heh hehhhhh. That make ya feel naughty? Old Merle give ya what ya want."

Soft slap

"You been bad missy?"

Soft slap followed by Beth's moan "Ohhhhhhhhhhh yes."

"You been pretty bad. You get them shorts down more."

Carol's head snapped up. Daryl's face was red and he was staring at the floor.

Soft slap. "Unhhmmmmmmmmmm"

Up in their cell, Merle viewed the rosy cheeks of her tight ass that were face up on his lap, and dipped his finger between her legs, rubbing up and down against her slit. She writhed like a snake on his lap. She needed it so bad. She was like a volcano ready to blow. "Merle," she pleaded breathlessly.

He saw her heat and understood. "OK angel", he said. His thick fingers parted her lips, Jesus fucking Christ she was hot as a furnace. Her pussy pulled his fingers in and soon there were two fingers fucking her in a regular motion. "Please," she said urgently.

He started rubbing her clit with his thumb. Beth barely stifled a scream. Merle stood up abruptly and pulled her shorts to her ankles, bending her over the bed. He pushed his pants down and threw a condom on as fast as he could then drove into her from behind.

He grasped her hips and pulled her into him as he thrust and she moaned loudly as she reached her climax. "I got what ya need right here little girl," he rasped as she spread her legs farther and took him to the hilt. He pumped and groaned through gritted teeth as he came. She came right after him, shaking and moaning.

Downstairs Carol put both hands to her mouth, her face was scarlet. Daryl had his head in his hands. But nothing could have prepared them for Beth's final satisfied moan.

"Ohhhhhhhhh daddy..."

The next day several people volunteered to help move Merle and Beth to an uninhabited office outside of the cellblock.

**This was by far the most fun chapter to write. What do you think?**


	15. Chapter 15 - Dreams

**Thanks to the handful of people reviewing - here's another meth installment. Never fear, I'm working for something extra smutty for you later!**

Nightmares

They came back to him at night, every single one of them sons a bitches he killed. Fellow military guys, civilians, anyone who got in the governor's way. Merle had dispatched them without question figuring he wouldn't live long enough to regret it, figuring that this was survival. In Woodbury he buried the memories with whiskey but now that he was at the prison he was sober. And they came back. In his dreams those guys were walking dead now. And they were pulling Beth through the hole in the fence.

He opened his eyes and let them acclimate to the dark, breathing through his nose to try to shake off the nightmare. Beth was sleeping with her back to him and she was rolled up in both the blankets. _Probably why I woke up shiverin'_, he thought. He rolled out of bed careful not to disturb her and threw on a pair of pants. He stuck a gun in the back of his pants and walked through the kitchen to the bathroom where he scrubbed his face with cold water. He rested his straight arm on the sink and dropped his head trying to shove all those he killed into the darkest recesses of his brain.

He returned to the room and looked at the bed. Beth was awake and partially sitting up. He took off his pants and said softly, "Just went to the head." He slid in next to her and lay on his back. She was still looking at him. "Anybody tell ya yer a blanket hog?" he drawled. She snorted and he felt her smile in the dark. She replied, "Yeah, Maggie has. Maybe you should do a better job keepin me warm." Merle cocked his head at her and shot back, "You wuz pretty damned warm when we went to sleep!" She laughed remembering how she had clung to him as he pleasured her.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself to sleep. She was still peering at him, her bent arm supporting her head. "Are you going to tell me about it?" she asked softly. His eyes remained closed as he replied, "What?" She bit her lip, knowing she was going into dangerous territory. "Your nightmare", she replied. His eyes were still closed. "Aint no nightmares sugar, go to sleep", he rasped.

She wasn't going to let it go. She trailed a finger from his chin down his neck and said, "They've been happening more often." Merle opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her. "Aint you got sleepin to do?" he asked. She looked at her hand that was spread out on his chest. "Not when I'm worried about you," she whispered. He sighed, "Don't fuss little girl."

"Sometimes you talk when you're dreaming," she said. "I know it's the same dream. I can feel it when you're having it." He was silent. "Merle," she said softly. "You think I don't know it but I do. I know you killed people. You've got to face it or it's going to destroy you. And us." She was looking at him steadily.

Merle abruptly rolled out of bed and put his clothes on. _She's gonna fuckin threaten me?_ he thought. He grabbed his prosthetic and walked out of the bedroom. She knew he wouldn't come back and she curled up in the still warm spot where he had lay. She could still smell him. She sighed, grateful that Carol had taught her so much about trying to love Daryl. Merle was an even harder case. She wasn't angry with him, she knew that she had gotten too close for his comfort and she needed to wait it out. She closed her eyes and did her best to sleep.

The next morning Merle didn't show for breakfast. Glen came in red-eyed from the tower and told Rick that Merle had replaced Maggie last night and was going to pull a double shift. Beth looked down at her plate and sighed inwardly. _Give him his space_, she thought. Carol brought a plate to Beth and said, "Would you like to take this to Merle?" and Beth gave her the best smile she could muster. "Would you mind doing it?" she asked Carol. Carol gave her a sad smile. "Of course," she said, patting Beth on the shoulder.

Hershel looked across the table at Beth, his eyes full of concern. She looked up at him, smiled, and said, "It's OK daddy." He gave her a one-sided smile and watched her as she ate her breakfast. He tried to remember his young days starting out with Josephine. There had been a lot of growing pains for sure. He was amazed at the maturity he was seeing in Beth, she couldn't have picked a more difficult partner and while the first few bumps in the road had been trying she seemed to be handling herself with confidence.

Before she left the kitchen she approached Rick and volunteered for the night watch. She hadn't slept well after Merle left and knew that there would probably be no sleep for her tonight anyway if she were alone in bed. She went back to bed and took a nap before she had to watch Judith that afternoon.

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Merle rubbed his eyes and they felt like they were full of sand. He was sharing watch with some woman from Woodbury. He didn't know her name because he never once talked to her. Aggression emanated from him in a visible cloud. He heard a light step on the tower stairs and immediately registered it as Carol.

"Morning!" said Carol cheerfully. Merle snarled in reply, "What the fuck's good about it?" Carol smiled at him perkily and handed him a thermos of coffee. "Coffee's good," she said. She made sure the two had everything they needed before she left. _Definitely a Dixon in a bad mood, _she thought.

Merle wolfed down his breakfast, poured a cup of coffee for whatshername then slugged the rest. He didn't have plans on going inside anytime soon and he needed a boost. His brain played the early morning conversation over and over. _What the fuck did I say durin them dreams? How the hell did she find out about them guys I killed? How long has she known? _He was positive that Beth could not stay with a man who'd done murder. _And now with the Woodbury crowd here? Theys a few guys in their 20s 'dlove to tap her_. _And they'd probably be a hell of a lot nicer to her than I can ever be_. Merle privately seethed.

When watch was over he joined a crew that was trying to repair the outer fence. He knocked off the remaining walkers that were in the field just because it felt good. His mood darkened when he saw it was Carl who was bringing them lunch. Beth usually brought his lunch. He wanted to see her, even though he knew he would just rip her head off or ignore her. He wondered if she was moving her stuff out of his cell. He shook his head. _I don't need this shit_, he thought, and he spent the next hour moving up and down the fence line stabbing anything that moved.

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Beth bounced Judith and laughed when the baby blew spit bubbles. Carol brought her a bottle and Beth started to feed her. Carol looked at Beth. "Tough night?" she asked. Beth looked up from the baby. "I'm giving him his space," she said with a half shrug. Carol reassured her, "It's the best thing you can do. He'll come back." Beth smiled at her and said, "I know." Carol rubbed Beth's back briefly and walked away. It seemed that Beth had the situation in hand.

When Carol had dinner ready Beth ate and headed out for night watch. She was happy to be paired with Michonne who was almost as good a fighter as Daryl and Merle. She had heard Michonne sing once before when she thought she was alone, a soul song. Beth loved her rich warm voice and hoped one day that things would heal enough between Michonne and Merle that Michonne would consider singing with her. They walked to the tower together and did not encounter Merle on the way.

Merle at that time was in the shower. He put on clean clothes and headed to the kitchen. He sat at the Greene table and scanned the room for her blonde hair. Carol brought him a plate. "Beth's on night watch," she told him. He ate his meal in silence, tuning out the chatter between Hershel, Maggie and Glen. When he was done he nodded to Hershel and went up to his room. All of her things were still there, neatly stacked. He fell into bed, wanting to escape the day even if it did bring nightmares.

He awoke at first light - time for the switching of the guard. He heard Beth and Michonne enter the cellblock and a short muffled conversation. He strained his ears for the sound of Beth's step on the stairs but it never came. He heard Daryl going down the stairs to hunt so he got dressed and went down to join him. He saw that Beth was sleeping in the cell that she used to occupy with Carol. He stood in the doorway and gazed at her. Her breathing was deep and even and her face was relaxed. She clutched one of his dirty T-shirts to her so she could smell him, something she usually did when he had late night watch and she had to sleep alone. _She aint mad_, he thought. He gently adjusted the blanket up farther around her then headed out to join his brother.

They bagged enough squirrel and rabbit to cover meals for a couple days and they field dressed them so the guts wouldn't attract more walkers to the prison. By the time they got in Carol was almost ready with lunch. Merle strode past the kitchen into Beth's cell. She was just stirring up out of a deep sleep and he sat on the bunk opposite watching her. She stretched and turned over and when she saw Merle she smiled. "You comin' to lunch?" he asked. She sat up and said, "Yeah". Merle nodded and stood up facing her. She moved into his arms and they closed around her. "You comin' to bed tonight?" he asked in a low voice. She nodded vigorously and she felt his muscles relax. She wanted to tell him how she missed him but she didn't want to bring up the sore subject. She was so happy just to have him with her for now.

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Later that night they settled into his cell. Merle sat on the bed and took off his prosthetic, stretching his arms and making his shoulders crack. Beth stood in front of him and studied him. She could see in his eyes that he was guarded and she knew that he wouldn't be talking feelings tonight. She slowly eased herself sideways into his lap and rested her head on his shoulder. She curled one arm around the front of his neck and the other around his back. She slowly stroked his back with her fingertips and kissed his neck. They remained so for a long time then he shifted her to the bed and shut out the light. She pressed against him and they mercifully fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Merle's conscience is not something that can be broached in one chapter - this is something that he and Beth will have to work on for a long time, possibly the rest of his life. He was a hard man prior to Woodbury and will not let go of this easily. I think she can help him through it but he has to let her. What do you think? **


	16. Chapter 16 - The Voice Lesson

The Voice Lesson

Beth was so excited. A musician in the Woodbury group! She and Carol had visited Cell Block B to hand out supplies and she had seen him fashioning an instrument from scrap. She introduced herself and learned that at the time of the apocalypse he had been working on his Masters degree in music to become...A VOCAL COACH! She shyly told him that she liked to sing and he asked her to give him a sample. "Wow, you really can sing," he said. "You've got all the talent you just need some technique." He accompanied her on his makeshift strings while she sang a country tune then he said he'd accept her as a student. She couldn't wait to tell everyone.

She was bubbling with excitement at dinner. "And Graham said that he's only met a handful of people with my level of talent," she beamed. "And he was training to be a vocal coach for Broadway. He said I have the pipes for Broadway!" She was hopping up and down in her seat, looking at Merle, then Hershel, then Glen and Maggie. "In school Graham was specializing in breathing exercises to improve the stamina of stage singers who have to put on shows night after night!"

Merle looked at Beth. "Slow down now sugar, tell me which one he is." She closed her eyes, trying to picture him. "Um," she said, trying to recall him. "Taller than you, slimmer than you, more hair than you - longish blond hair, blond beard and moustache. Older than me obviously. Younger than you." Hershel internally winced because he could see the green monster building behind Merle's eyes.

Merle cracked his jaw, exercising restraint. "You mean that faggot that always bangin' on some fucking homemade drum while everyone else is working to support his ass? I remember him from Woodbury. Once we was sortin people inta groups and I put 'im with the women." He heard Daryl snort from the table next to theirs.

"Merle," Beth said indignantly. "He's an artist. He's not a fighter. There's all types in this world." Merle snapped, "Not no more little miss and aint no Broadway left neither." Beth gazed at him with her large violet eyes. She swallowed and he watched the muscles move in her graceful neck. Her excitement was dampened because he wasn't on board. _Can't he see what this means to me? _she thought. She said, "You go out in the beautiful woods and hunt all the time. What do I do besides sit in a prison and watch somebody else's baby all day?"

He looked at her and wondered when the hell he got so soft. He couldn't say no to her when she wanted something. "You go learn angel," he said. "But I'm comin wit ya." Beth took his hand and hopped with excitement and later that night she showed him her appreciation in multiple creative ways.

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The next afternoon they walked to cellblock B. _Yeah, I remember this pussy_, Merle thought_. Fucking faggot hasn't lifted a finger since I was at Woodbury. Gotta herd of stupid women that follow him wantin' him to play music so theys problems disappear. Music when we all dyin'._ He thought about what music meant to Beth. _Little sister gets what she wants now but he makes one move and I'll field dress 'im_, he thought grimly.

Graham was 25 years old, tall, and very good-looking. He had the type of body that made any type of clothes look good. He was petrified of Merle and couldn't have been more shocked when Beth walked in the door with him. Merle crossed his arms and leaned his back against the wall. Graham wondered, _why the hell is that animal with her?_

Beth smiled up at him and he forgot about Merle. _He works for the cop and is probably just here to make sure she doesn't get attacked between cellblocks_, he thought. She was one sweet piece of ass and really talented to boot. She reminded him of the graduate assistants that hung around the department who were always willing to share their music and their tight young bodies. _Let's get started_, he thought.

"OK Beth, I have a good idea of your range. Your pronunciation is good but I think you could use some pitch correction and some breathing work. It will really bring out the subtleties in your range." Beth smiled. "OK, what do I do?" she asked breathlessly. For the next hour Graham had her sing and stopped her when she needed correction, training her to hear her own mistakes. Soon she started to recognize them and stopped on her own. "OK," he said, "that's a big step. Once you recognize it you can correct it."

"This is what I want you to practice," he said. "Training will help you breathe for singing. Inhale like the air is heavy then exhale without collapsing your chest." He worked through some exercises with her. "You need to do this in different positions. First lay on the floor, then on hands and knees, then squatting, then slumped over, then standing. This is going to help you learn what the breath feels like in your body. These are your reserves, you have to be able to measure them to push out long notes."

Beth nodded and followed his instruction. Merle's biceps twitched. _Beth's looking at this motherfucker like he's some kinda god. And he's tryin' to get her in every position I've fucked her in_. A slight growl emanated from his chest.

Graham nodded in approval. "Yes, that's good, do you think you can practice those?" Beth nodded, flushed and smiling. Graham continued, "The last one is standing, and you'd think that would be the easiest one but it's actually the hardest because you're used to turning your mind on autopilot when you're standing." Beth giggled and Merle tensed. "Let's try it," Graham said.

Beth stood straight. She was in a beam of sunlight that sparkled her light blond hair. Graham was standing to the side of her, his dark blonde hair falling in a sweep close to hers in the shaft of sunlight. Merle bristled, thinking of his buzzed greying brown hair.

Graham's face was close to Beth's and he was instructing her on her posture during the exercise. He pointed to a spot in the wall that was her focal point. Beth was staring straight ahead concentrating on breathing. "That's not quite it," said Graham. "You're a little too arched." He put one hand on the small of Beth's back. "Use this as a base and rise straight up," he said. Beth straightened her posture. "Your chin is not quite right," he said, adjusting it. He stepped back to appraise her. "OK, one more thing," he said. "You need to straighten this area into as close as you can get to a line." He walked back to her and returned his hand to the small of her back, then moved his other hand to press against the front of her rib cage just below her breasts.

When Graham woke up he was spread-eagled on the floor. He looked over his broken nose at Merle who was standing over him. "Had enough Nancy?" growled Merle, "Or should I castrate your ass too?" He menaced his arm blade in Graham's face.

Graham shot to his feet and backed up until he was against the wall. "Please," he said. "I didn't mean anything. I thought she was coming on to me!" Merle smiled at him and advanced. "I didn't mean nothin' either motherfucker. And that was a love tap compared to what I'm about to give ya." Graham's eyes widened. "Please let me go," he whined and he actually pissed himself. Merle watched as the stain formed in the front of Graham's pants. "Get the fuck out of here," Merle said in a gravelly voice. "And I don't never wanna see you around my wife again. Or I'll fuckin' kill ya."

Graham ran full tilt to the door and never looked back. Merle laughed. He turned to Beth. She was furious. "Merle, how could you?" she yelled. He glared at her. "Easy sugar, once he put his hands on ya he was dead. I was bein' nice lettin' him get out."

Beth was experiencing a hurricane of emotions. She had learned more in that hour than she had in her whole life about the thing she loved to do most. But Merle's suspicions were right and Graham had just wanted her body. It was never about her voice, it was about her being a sweet young thing. It was all a lie. Merle watched her face, reading her emotions. He stood in front of her and tipped her chin up so she looked at him. "Ya sing for me and the others in C. You the best singer in the world and ya don't need no help."

Beth walked to the wall and leaned her back into it, sliding down to sit on the floor. She ducked her head so Merle wouldn't see the tears dropping. She cried until the tears were gone, then without raising her head she said, "We're not married." Merle had been watching her with his arms crossed over his chest. "Heh?" he asked. She looked at the concrete in front of her feet. "You called me your wife. We're not married."

Merle shrugged. "Close enough," he said. She looked at him. "You never asked me. There's no ring on my finger, and there's not been a ceremony. We're not married." Merle sighed. "All details sugar." She blinked. "Not to me," she said. "Please don't call me your wife."

Merle was confused. _Aint never had no woman before, aint never wanted one, ya'd think she'd be happy about this,_ he thought. "Alright," he said. "I won't call ya my wife." She nodded. She got up and walked to the door to go back to C and he followed. She grabbed the door handle and he said, "Unless ya wanna." She looked back at him. He was looking at her with an expression she'd never seen before, it almost looked like trepidation. He walked closer to her. She looked at him confused, "You mean get married?" she asked. He nodded imperceptably.

Her eyes filled with tears and her chin trembled. He was asking her to marry him. Her heart felt like it was being kicked to pieces and she stared at the ground for strength. When she steadied herself she looked at him. "I can't," she said softly.


	17. Chapter 17 - Crisis

**OK, before you read this please keep in mind the following - neither of these people know how to foster a functional relationship, they are learning on the fly. Also Beth's ideas concerning theology and the world have been heavily influenced by what her church has fed into her - she doesn't have the life experience or maturity to interpret it independently or to put it in context. Finally, Merle's only recourse to conflict in the past has been violence. He is unequipped to handle emotional pain.**

**This was really hard to write and I fear greatly losing the essence of these characters. Thanks so much to What Evil Lurked for great advice and for a great Merle line. Please let me know what you think.**

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Crisis

Merle looked at Beth in surprise. "God don't care if you ain't a virgin sugar."

Beth looked at him hesitantly, wringing her hands. "It's not that." Merle was perplexed. She continued, "Marriage is a contract with God." Merle ground his teeth. "I get the concept," he said.

Beth looked at the floor. It came out in a whisper, "You don't love God." Merle began to understand where she was going and he didn't like it. "And what the fuck does that have to do with anything?" he growled. Beth looked up at him, trembling. This was not going well and it was her fault. Her ideas made perfect sense in her head but when she voiced them they seem to hang in the air like an off-key note. "You don't love yourself," she whispered.

Merle bristled almost audibly and he seemed to be getting taller as she spoke to him. She tried again. "Those things you did. You hate yourself for them and you hate God. And I know it. So if I married you," her voice trailed off to a whisper. "I'd be lying to God." Merle couldn't believe what he was hearing. _This skirt wants me to sing hallelujah with her? Is this what it's been about all along? Nobody tells Merle Dixon what to think._

A strong painful sensation was building in his chest, one that he had suppressed since childhood. He felt himself slipping into the red. "So what you're saying?" he growled through his teeth as his prosthetic crashed into the cinder block beside her, making her jump. "Is that yer pickin between me and some made up Santa Claus that doesn't exist?" Beth's breathing quickened and she realized too late that he wasn't handling well at all. "No," she said. "I'm saying that I can't lie to Him. And if you won't face those things and I marry you anyway, it would be like me lying...sinning."

Merle's face was close enough to hers that she could feel the spit fly out of his mouth as his chest heaved. "Oh," he said in mock calmness. "This is beginnin' to make sense. So what you mean is that I'm good enough to FUCK for now but yer holdin' out til I change to yer likin' or somethin' holier comes 'round." Beth gasped. "No!" she panicked.

The vein in the middle of Merle's forehead stood out and his arms shook with the restraint of not destroying the room. "You listen here little miss. You think you know somethin' about me? Ya don't know shit!" Beth shrunk against the door. "Merle," she pleaded. His voice was hoarse. "Ya think yer different than every other self-righteous bible banger that came to our front door wantin' to pity us poor rednecks like we was circus freaks? Wantin' to clean us up real nice and fill us with the gospel? So they can go home and feel good about leadin' the lost and improvin' our sorry lives?" He was sneering in her face and she started to cry. "Merle," she whispered.

"Not often someone fools ole Merle, shoulda seen this comin'. Ya give yerself to the biggest strongest guy so you and ya family's nice and safe durin' dangerous times, then if ya cain't change me to what ya want you'll bide ya time til the danger's over and ya find one that's nice and holy," his eyes were boring into hers and his voice was a raspy whisper. Beth covered her face and cried harder. He pushed his face even closer to hers and his voice was like ice. "And all them warm and fuzzy feelin's that came along with it were just perks," he said. Beth sobbed. "Stop, please stop Merle" she pleaded as she sank to the floor.

"I'll do better than stop," seethed Merle as he stepped over her to walk through the door. "This shit's over."

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He needed to get out. This prison wasn't gonna hold him tonight. He went up to his room and packed a couple shirts and some food into his hunting bag. He strode swiftly to the tower where Daryl was on watch and ascended the stairs. Carl was on watch with Daryl. "I'm goin' huntin'," Merle said abruptly. Daryl looked at him like he was crazy. "It's gonna be dark soon," he said. He could see that Merle was in the worst possible of all moods, the one that even caused Daryl to avoid him.

Merle fixed him with a steely gaze. "Better to get deer," he said. Daryl snorted, "Yeah and walkers. You oughta go in the mornin'. I'll come with ya." Merle tersely shook his head. "I'm goin' alone," he said. Daryl's temper flared, "The fuck got your panties inna wad?" Merle barked, "None of ya fuckin' business!" Merle knew that Daryl was right about walkers being more active at night. "You," he said, gesturing to Carl. "Get inside, I'm takin your watch," he said to Carl. "And tell whoever is coming on night watch that I got it."

"I'm leavin' at first light. Alone."

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Beth sobbed hysterically into her pillow. She didn't think she had any tears left after this afternoon when she lay crying on the floor in cellblock B. But Carl had just come in and told the group that Merle was staying in the tower and that he was going off hunting by himself in the morning. Beth ran to the cell she used to share with Carol and threw herself on the bed. Maggie sat beside her rubbing her back. "Bethy, tell me what's wrong!" Maggie urged. Beth shook her head and sobbed. Maggie looked up at Hershel in the doorway. He came into the room and sat heavily on Beth's bed. He put his hand on Beth's back. "Does this have something to do with Merle?" he asked. Beth nodded and cried miserably. "Do you want to talk about it?" asked Maggie. Beth shook her head. "No," she wailed.

"I'll stay with her Daddy," said Maggie. Later on Maggie brought Beth some dinner but Beth shook her head. Maggie urged, "You hafta eat Beth." But Beth shook her head and as her tears dried she eventually fell asleep.

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Predawn arrived with stillness and moisture in the air. Merle had not said a word the entire night and Daryl knew better than to try. Carol had delivered meals to them at dinner with a worried look on her face. She set the plates down and stole a glance at Merle who was on the deck. Daryl raised his eyebrows at her. "Beth is a wreck," said Carol softly so Merle wouldn't hear. "Did he say what happened?" Daryl shrugged in surprise and said, "No, but he's been mean as a snake." She grimaced, "It must have been bad because Beth's inconsolable and she won't talk to anybody."

Merle entered the tower, picked up his plate and wolfed down his food. "Open the gates," he said to Daryl, pointedly ignoring Carol. Daryl sighed and followed Merle down the stairs. "When ya comin' back?" he asked as Merle exited the inner gate. He opened the outer gate and Merle stepped out. "Few days," he said tersely, and jogged into the woods.

**These two have a lot to handle right now, I'll try to get it out as soon as I can.**


	18. Chapter 18 - High times

High Times

The next day Beth struggled to be productive. She welcomed the chance to care for the baby in the afternoon, knowing it would occupy her hands. Carol stroked Beth's hair as Beth held Judith. "He'll be back in a couple of days," Carol said reassuringly. "He'll think about it. Then you two can work out your problem." Beth teared up and nodded to appease Carol. _He won't want to work it out, I've driven him away_, she thought. She looked at baby Judith and her shoulders began to shake_. And now I'll never have him or a baby of my own._ She felt as if her insides had been scooped out, except for her heart that throbbed with pain. _What have I done? I'd give anything to have him back._

In the evening she handed Judith off to Rick and went outside to the prison yard. She walked to the fence and looked across the field to the prison entrance near the tower. She could picture Merle walking away, his wife beater hugging his broad back. She entwined her fingers in the fence and leaned against it for strength. _ A couple of days. Maybe he'll want to talk then. Please God, please keep him safe. Please God, let him forgive me._

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Merle struck out in a direction that he and Daryl had only partially explored. He cut south and around the prison and headed northwest. The small town they usually pilfered was to the southwest and the highway was to the east, so he was curious to see what lay in this direction. The woods gave way to open fields in some places and he skirted those to avoid detection.

He marked his way so he could find his way back knowing it would take an expert tracker to follow his trail. He didn't want to be found. He encountered the usual number of walkers, taking them out with gusto using his arm blade. He nabbed a few squirrels with a crossbow and built a fire near a stream to cook them up for dinner. As soon as they were browned he kicked the fire out, no need to advertise his presence. He ate the squirrels and made a pass or two around the perimeter. No walkers yet and no sign of other survivors. Seemed like a good place to bed down for the night.

He got out a piece of rope and slung it in a tree branch to help him up into the branches. Once established in the crotch of a large tree he kicked out the smaller limbs underneath and used the rope to fashion a sling to the branches above. This was how he was going to sleep without falling out of the goddamned tree. He worked his upper body into the sling and tested it, worked well. As the sun dipped down his eyes began to close of their own accord.

This was the worst time for him. He saw her smiling up at him with excitement about something she was jabberin' on about. Or leaning with her face close to his as she stroked his chin and laughed softly about something. Or writhing underneath him, her face relaxing into the throes of pleasure. _Fuck this shit, think about somethin' else, like how the hell I'm gonna avoid bein' eaten tonight,_ he thought desperately_._

After a fitful night's sleep he woke to the groans of walkers under the tree. It was first light and he looked down to see three of them reaching up at him. He was a good four feet from their reach so he grinned down at them. "Howdy boys," he said, holding up his arm blade. "You come to have some fun?" The walkers groaned and became more excited. He looked around the area from his perch and didn't see any more walkers close by. He shinnied down to the closest low branch and jumped, rolling when he hit the ground to absorb the impact. He came up with his arm blade raised and with a grin and a grunt dispatched the three walkers one by one. "Great way to start the day!" he said to no one. He ate a granola bar out of his pack and jogged in a northwest direction.

He bagged a fat rabbit and threw the guts across a creek to divert walkers. He rinsed his hands and the skinned carcass in the running water and resumed his pace. He wanted to get far away. He followed the creek and late that afternoon he cooked up the rabbit. He wanted to get a few more miles in before nightfall. He avoided roads so he wouldn't be seen. As the light waned he came upon a small house in the woods. There was a run down camper and an old washing machine in the front yard and some rusted bales of wire in the backyard.

He approached the house carefully, circling it at first to see if walkers were anywhere outside. It was clear. He made his way carefully to the back door. He tested it and it opened. He carefully entered the kitchen, flashlight in his mouth. The stench of death hit him. The kitchen was clear and he noted a cellar door in the floor that was latched shut. He quietly made his way into the living room to find two walkers milling around. He dispatched them quickly and swept the area for any on the floor.

There was a corpse laying in a recliner, the top of its head was missing and a shotgun lay in its lap. "Hey Joe," Merle whispered. He made his way cautiously up the stairs and checked out the bathroom and two small bedrooms. Clear. He made his way back down to the ground floor and popped the cellar door. The space was very small and it was clear. He inspected the cellar and instead of canned goods there were jugs of chemicals and 3 bottles of Wild Turkey. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and made his way back into the living room. There was a rectangular table pushed against the wall with an assortment of glassware and chemicals on it. Next to the corpse in the recliner was a small duffel bag containing a few baggies of white powder.

Merle flicked one of the bags with his arm blade then licked his finger and stuck it in the opening. He rubbed it on his gums. Pure meth. "Mmmmm", he moaned, "slide my finger in the slit and touch heaven, Joe". He dug through the rubble and found a glass pipe and a lighter. "Thanks for bein' such a good host. I do believe I'll stay a while."

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Daryl and Rick were talking in the tower. "It's been three days," said Rick, "what are you thinkin'?" Daryl looked over the tops of the trees and answered, "If he was dead I'd know it. I'd feel it. He coulda bagged a big deer and is tryin' to drag it back. Or...he doesn't wanna come back yet." Rick sighed and asked, "Do we know what happened?" Daryl shook his head. "Beth won't say." Daryl took a breath and pursed his lips. "Let's give him some time," he said. Rick nodded. Daryl didn't want to say but he knew Merle's cruel streak better than anyone. He wouldn't put it past him to dawdle on purpose to make Beth hurt.

It started as a runny nose a day after Merle left then progressed to a cough. Beth sat in the kitchen at night so she wouldn't wake anyone with her coughing. Her family urged her to eat but she could only get a mouthful or two in before her throat closed up and she felt sick. When she wasn't working she lay in bed crying, wondering why Merle wasn't back yet, wondering if he was hurt or worse. Two days later she was pale and had dark rings under her eyes. She felt listless and tired and her lungs burned. "You've got bronchitis Beth," said Hershel. "You've got to start eating and sleeping." He gave her what antibiotics they had from their diminishing supply and hoped that they would cover it.

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Merle was higher than a kite. Three days of a steady diet of meth and whiskey had ramped him up to supergod status. He wasn't thinking about anything outside of the moment. He had barricaded the back door with a large console TV and locked all the windows. He and Joe invented a new game, called "Who's invited to dinner." He'd open the door at night and let the zombies in, sometimes he'd see them into the drawing room or sometimes he'd just slay them at the door. He was extra happy when a female showed up. "Ladies first," he'd gesture grandly then work his way through the line.

Sometimes he'd get hungry and rifle the pantry. "Joe, how could you possibly know the love I have for Pop Tarts?" he'd ask his ever-gracious host. Merle ate it all - Pop Tarts, graham crackers, raw pasta, tuna, potted meat, cat food. He slept in hour increments, always timing his high at peak zombie activity. The days passed in delirious abandon. Nobody was goin' to miss him yet.

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Daryl and Rick talked in the tower the next evening. "I'll go after 'im," said Daryl. Rick knew that Merle had taught Daryl how to track. "Will you be able to find him?" asked Rick. Daryl's eyebrows drew together. "If he don't wanna be found it'll be hard. I can do it as long as it doesn't rain. I'll set out in the mornin'."

Beth woke up coughing in the middle of the night. She was dressed in one of Merle's old shirts and boxer shorts. She made her way through the kitchen and to the outside door so she wouldn't disturb peoples' sleep. She looked out the leaded glass door and saw a soft rain falling over the compound. She opened the door and went outside into the inner courtyard gazing at the halos that the few existing lights made.

She stood in her bare feet, her fingers curled around the links in the fence. She thought of Merle's back moving away from her, leaving that final time. Hoarsely she whispered, "Please don't go. Come back Merle. I love you. Please, we don't have to get married". She could imagine that he was beyond the far gate. "Baby please," she said. She dropped her head and the tears ran down her face. The rain came down harder, obscuring the view of the gate from the guard tower. No one could see her there. "I'll wait for you," she said despondently, leaning against the fence. She could so palpably smell him and feel him. She was going to wait for him for as long as it took.

At daybreak Carol got up to get breakfast going for Daryl before he left. She gazed out the leaded window and frowned when she saw a crumpled mass of clothes by the gate. She opened the door to look closer. "Oh God," she said. She opened the door and yelled, "Daryl!" then ran to the gate. Daryl was soon behind her with Maggie. Carol had reached Beth first. "Oh baby, no. Beth, no," she said. She looked at the others. "She's cold as ice," cried Maggie. Without a word they lifted Beth and rushed her into the prison.

Maggie yelled for Hershel as soon as they were in the door and the group surrounded them. Hershel limped out of his cell as Beth was being carried into the old cell she shared with Carol. Hershel cried, "Is she bit?" and Maggie replied, "No Daddy, she's been outside all night pinin' over that asshole!" She glared at Daryl who looked at the floor. Hershel barked, "Get her into dry clothes!"

Maggie and Carol settled Beth into bed and Carol darted up to Merle's cell to get Beth a change of clothes. When they changed her clothes they got her under a pile of blankets. She shivered uncontrollably, her teeth chattering. "It's OK," Maggie crooned, "We got ya Beth. You're goin to be OK."

Hershel sat on the edge of the bunk, Carol hovering near his side. "She needs sleep and stronger antibiotics, it's all moved into her chest," he said wearily. Carol looked at Hershel and Maggie in alarm. "We don't have anything stronger." Maggie set her jaw. "I'll go," she said. Hershel cautioned, "Maggie." Maggie's eyes shot fire. "She's my sister and I'm goin'," she said firmly. She moved to the door and glared at Daryl. "And when that asshole comes back I'm personally shooting him," she stated.

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Carol checked on Hershel that afternoon as he watched Beth. "She seems awful warm," she said. Beth was wheezing and there was an ominous rattle in her chest. Her face was flushed and she had thrown the covers off the bed. Hershel felt her forehead. "Her temp is high," he said. "Too high. We've got to get it down or she'll seizure." Michonne showed up in the doorway, concern in her eyes.

Carol ran to get cool water and rags. They stripped Beth down to her bra and underwear and began to wipe her limbs. Beth's eyes opened. "Daddy," Beth said in a whisper. Hershel leaned in close. "Yes Bethy," he said. Her voice came in a heartbreaking whisper, "It hurts so bad Daddy." Hershel stroked the bangs away from her eyes. "What happened baby?" he asked.

Beth gave a soft sob, "He asked me to marry him." Hershel, Carol and Michonne looked at each other. They thought that this would have been Beth's dream come true. Hershel looked back down at his youngest daughter. "I thought that would make you happy Bethy."

Beth leaned her forehead against his knee. She was shaking now. Hershel felt her head. "She's burning up," he said softly. She started to cry. "I told him no," she whispered miserably.

Now they looked at each other in surprise. Everyone in the group had assumed that Merle had broken Beth's heart. Now it seemed the picture was more complicated. Beth was softly crying against Hershel's leg. "Why Bethy?" he asked softly. She looked up at him, her eyes glassy and her cheeks flushed. "I love him so much Daddy. And I know he loves me."

Hershel stroked her head. "Bethy, isn't that what you wanted?" Beth cried harder against his leg but she was so dehydrated that tears didn't come. "He hates himself and he hates God for the bad things he's done." She cried, "So marrying him would be a lie to God. Daddy, I can't lie to God." She sobbed against his leg.

"Oh, Bethy," he said sadly. He stroked her head. "And he left," she cried, her heart broken. "I love him Daddy and I made him go away". Hershel stroked her head. "Bethy why didn't you either of you come to me?" he asked in consternation. He knew he could have smoothed this out before Merle stalked off. Beth fell silent, sleeping against his knee. Michonne turned away, thinking g_uess there's more to Merle than I thought_.

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Merle laughed until his sides burned. "Hey Joe, your guests are sure assholes!" he yelled. "Don't even use the doorbell!" Merle was now jumping out of the door to bayonet zombies that were approaching. _Best fun I ever had in my goddamned life!_ Merle thought. He dispatched them until there were no more then he went back into the house. It had been four days and the athletic bag was considerably less full than before. _Hmmm, me and Joe gonna have to cook up a little fun_, Merle thought.

He inspected the production table. All the powdered and liquid ingredients were there and waiting, as were the glassware, connections and masks. _I've made meth before, can do it now,_ he thought. "Fuck yeah Joe", he said. "We can fix this si-chee-ation." "Alright," he said amiably. "We's outa food. We's outa booze. I could do with some squirrel but we gotta make more meth first."

Joe smiled at Merle. "I'm glad you agree!" Merle said. He lit the chamber under the ethanol burner and watched the progression through the glass tubes. "Mmmmmmmmmmmm...smells like Thansgivin'" said Merle. Now for a little squirrel. He grabbed his hunting bag and gun and took off to the woods. He bagged two squirrels in twenty minutes just as the sun was going down. _Ain't nothin' I can't do right now_, he thought. He made his way back to the house and noted the cheery glow from the fireplace flickering in the window. _Wait, aint no fireplace in there_, he thought.

He sprinted into the woods and ran until he heard the house explode. "Fuck you Joe! You throw a shitty party! " he yelled and backtracked to his original trail.

He found the deer stand he had noticed on the way in and scaled the tree. He lashed himself to the deer stand and looked at the darkening sky. "I suppose you think this is real funny," he said looking up. "Well ha ha motherfucker, you can suck my cock because I don't believe in ya."


	19. Chapter 19 - Merle Returns

**Hi All, here's the next installment in which Merle returns to the prison. I hope you enjoy it. And please review - your opinions are helping me to stay true to our characters.**

Merle returns

_He was standing over her in cellblock B. She crumpled slowly to the ground, sobbing from the pain of his words. Then the cinderblock wall turned into a fence and his feet were stuck to the floor. He couldn't move, couldn't react. The zombies reached in and pulled her through the hole._

Merle woke with a start. The sky was clear and the stars shined brightly. He was still tied to the deer stand and he remained still as a walker shuffled past, unaware of his presence. When it was gone he exhaled and leaned the back of his head against the tree. His head ached from meth withdrawal and a Wild Turkey hangover, but that was nothing compared to the roiling pain in his guts. How many days had he been gone? Had to be more than three. He missed her so bad that he wanted to run back to the prison but with the walkers stirred up by the explosion, he knew that running through the woods at night would be suicide.

Without the drugs he had no mechanism to screen her out of his mind. He saw her looking up at him with admiration in her eyes, saw her turning to look over her shoulder to smile at him, saw her perched on his lap rubbing her nose on his just before she kissed him. He felt her soft touch on his neck, her fingers running through his short hair, her hands rubbing his back. Heard her laugh at his reaction to the butterfly kiss she gave him with her eyelashes. The images came through him at breakneck speed and he was overwhelmed. He slammed his head back against the tree to slow them down. He heard her voice singing the sad song for him in the tower. Just for him. Saw her the night she gave herself to him when he was doing his best to drive her away. He slammed his head back again.

He took a deep breath of the crisp night air and closed his eyes. She really believed that shit that she said to him, believed she couldn't marry him. It still pissed him off. _All because of some stupid nightmare. And because I ain't good enough for her._ He swallowed. He knew in his heart that she didn't think that. He saw the horror and panic in her eyes when he suggested it. That little voice in his head that he usually actively suppressed spoke up. _She's only seventeen. Was telling her it was over the best way to handle this?_ _Shoulda just said we wouldn't never get married and been done with it._

Merle was not a fool. He lived with his anger and knew it was his escape. He also knew it was a double-edged sword that often damaged him as well as those around him. He handled her denial the way he handled everything - with aggression and anger. Before her he hadn't cared who it hurt. Now he saw the extent of the damage he inflicted on her. He wished he could take it back.

He groaned softly. She would be out of her mind with worry by now, thinking that he was dead or that he had taken off for good. Same with Daryl who was probably out looking for him. _No way he'll find my trail after the rain_, thought Merle. _I gotta get back. Today._

It would be hours until first light and he was wide awake. His nostrils flared as he filled his chest with air. _Fucking nightmare is what started alla this._ Dreaming about those walkers that used to be men. Men who he condemned to death, one of 'em while they were looking for Michonne, just a kid Beth's age. His lip curled with the pain of the memory. Instead of walling it off he let it build. He dropped his head, scowling. "I'm sorry," he whispered to the image of the boy in his head. He looked at the sky. "I'm sorry," he repeated. He tried to recall each face as he apologized to each of the sixteen. The last was an innocent survivor who had been taken into Woodbury for shelter. He had seen a little too much of Merle's operation and Merle had made the executive decision. He remembered raising the gun to the back of his head. _Guy never did nothin' to me._ This time Merle's voice wavered during his apologies. He saw Beth's face, her blonde forelock spilling over her forehead. "Little girl," he whispered. He dropped his head and pulled in the air, his shoulders trembling.

When first light streaked the sky, Merle untied himself and jumped out of the treestand. He got his bearings and set off at a run.

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Daryl had circled several times and he only had a few more hours of daylight left. He found the remains of a fire and squirrel bones and had moved from there to find a creek. Across the creek there was a marked tree but after that the trail went cold. He heard crashing in the brush far off to he left, so he stepped behind a tree with his crossbow ready. He was surprised to see Merle jog out of the brush, a gun and crossbow slung over his shoulders and carrying his hunting bag.

Daryl stepped out from behind the tree. "Merle!" he yelled. Merle's head snapped toward the sound and he slowed to a walk when he recognized his brother. He was covered in zombie slime from head to toe and was soaked in sweat. Daryl stalked towards him, fury in his eyes. "The FUCK you been?" he yelled. Merle circled him, wary. "House about twelve miles out," he gasped, winded from the run. Daryl's crossbow was partially raised, he had a good mind to plant one in Merle's ass. "Ya just take off an hole up somewhere for a fuckin week, don't tell nobody? I gotta risk my life comin' to find your sorry ass?"

Merle looked at him. "That how long it's been?" he asked. Daryl gaped at him. He growled, "Must have been some good shit, huh Merle? It's been 5 days. I hope it was worth it." Merle stopped circling. "What's that supposed ta mean?" he asked. Daryl's lip curled in anger. "Ya half kilt Beth. Now you're gonna get yer sorry ass up there and fix it." Merle's chest heaved and he was torn between beatin' the shit out of the messenger or hightailing it back to the prison.

Daryl looked at him in disgust. "Fucking clean up," he said, nodding to the stream. Merle looked down at himself. He had forgotten to change his clothes in the last five days. He pulled his shirt off and sluiced cold water from the stream over his upper body. He scrubbed his face and head best he could and took several long drinks. He pulled a fresh shirt out of his bag, put it on and nodded. They took off at a swift jog and Daryl remained in hostile silence for the rest of the trip.

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What did he mean I half kilt her? He thought about the pink lines that crossed her wrists. No little girl, tell me you didn't.

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They reached the outer gate with thirty minutes of sunlight to spare. The walkers were thick and a Woodbury person tried to divert them to a different place in the fenceline. Even so Merle and Daryl had to kill about ten of them to make it into the compound. Michonne opened the gate. She looked closely at Merle, then at Daryl. "Maggie and Glen just got back with medical supplies," she said. She locked the gates behind them as they ran to the prison yard gate.

Carl slid the gate open. He gaped at Merle for a moment. Merle could only imagine what he looked like after five steady days of drinking and drugs with no attention to personal hygiene. Carl's eyes went back to Daryl's. "She's worse," he said curtly.

They raced to Beth's cell and Merle stood in the doorway. Hershel and Carol were fighting to get an IV into Beth's arm but she was thrashing on the bed and crying. Maggie was crying and trying to hold Beth's arm down. Glen stood helplessly next to the bed. "No!" Beth was trying to scream with ravaged lungs. "You're trying to turn me!" Hershel was exasperated, trying to poke the vein that Carol was holding off. "Beth, we're trying to help you. It's an IV with antibiotics!" Beth tried to scream and broke off with violent coughing. "No! I don't want to turn!"

"What the fuck?" asked Merle in shock. At the sound of his voice Maggie turned around. When she saw him her eyes widened and she dropped Beth's arm. "Die motherfucker," she said through gritted teeth as she brought up her pistol, aimed between his eyes and pulled the trigger.

**I have to admit, I wrote this today with a Pabst Blue Ribbon hangover, so I'm kind of feeling for Merle a bit here :)**


	20. Chapter 20 - Click

**Here's the next chapter, I tried to address some reviewer concerns in it...please review and tell me how I'm doing. Don't worry, there's a hypersmutty chapter coming up in the future :)**

Click

Click. Carol screamed, "No Maggie!" _Fuck_, thought Maggie. Click, click, click, she pulled the trigger again and again. _ I used all my shells at Walmart._ She was reaching for her knife when Glen pushed her against the wall. Everyone was yelling except Merle. He stood motionless in the doorway holding Maggie's gaze. Hershel realized that Maggie had been gone when Beth revealed that she had broken Merle's heart and not vice versa. Hershel's voice rose above the rest. "Maggie, Glen, Daryl, get out! Go talk to Michonne. Merle hold Beth down so I can get this damned thing in!"

Glen hustled Maggie out the door. As she passed Merle she said accusingly, "You did this to her." Merle remained silent. Once they were gone he warily moved into the room and knelt on the bed. Beth had calmed since Maggie let go of her arm, she was panting and wheezing with her eyes half closed. Merle took off his prosthetic and pushed it under the bed. He leaned over Beth and braced himself on his arms. He could feel the heat rolling off of her.

"Now missy," he said in a low voice. "We gotta put this in yer arm. I don't want ya fightin' it, ya hear? It's gonna make you better." Beth's eyelids opened, her eyes were bright with fever. She struggled to focus on his face. Her lips formed the word Merle. "Yeah sugar it's me. You behave. I'm gonna be right here." Beth's breathing calmed, she struggled to maintain focus on his face but her eyes kept closing. Merle nodded at Carol and Carol grasped her above the elbow to hold off the vein. Beth stiffened and began to panic, sounds of fear coming from deep in her throat. Merle placed his left hand on her shoulder and firmly held her down. "NO!" she screamed hoarsely. "You're dead, you're trying to turn me!" She thrashed with all her strength so Merle placed his bent right arm on her other shoulder.

Hershel moved quickly and inserted the needle into the vein. When Beth felt the needle go in she let out a bloodcurdling scream that terminated in sobs. Hershel looked at Carol. "Tie her arm down with gauze," he instructed. "We don't need her movin' that needle around." Merle kept Beth pinned while Carol stabilized her arm and Hershel walked her through setting the flow rate.

Beth was hyperventilating and Merle loosened his grip on her shoulders. He stroked the hair out of her face and talked softly to her, his mouth close to her ear. "I'm real proud of ya little girl. Ya gonna be all right. You was real brave there. You gotta sleep now and rest up. I'll be here when ya wake up." When Beth's breathing calmed and her eyes were drooping he moved back and sat on his knees. He was breathing hard with the effort of keeping her still and from holding back the raw emotions that were eating him from the inside.

He heard Hershel and Carol discussing Beth's fever. Carol nodded and soaked a rag in isopropyl alcohol that they had found in the purpose room. She sat next to Beth on the bed and Merle moved back. Carol began wiping Beth down with the rag. "We've got to get her fever down, she's delirious," she said, hazarding a glance at Merle. He watched Carol wipe Beth's stomach with the rag. Beth was wearing only a bra and panties and her ribs and hipbones showed painfully under her skin. _She didn't fuckin eat_, he thought.

Carol was blowing on the areas she where applied the alcohol to speed the evaporation. Merle looked at Hershel and said, "Gimme that piller." Hershel handed him the pillow and Merle waved it vigorously over Beth to cool her. Hershel cautioned them not to use too much alcohol because she could absorb it through her skin.

He and Carol worked together to get her temperature down and in the meantime Beth fell into a fitful sleep. Her dreams were fragmented and cruel and in them Merle was always dead.

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Rick appeared in the door of the cell holding Judith. "Everything OK?" he asked. Hershel was sitting heavily on the bed opposite of Beth and Carol was straightening up the room. Merle was standing leaning with his back against the wall, rubbing his eyes. Carol smiled, "We got her fever down and she's got some antibiotics and fluid in her now. The worst should be over." Rick's blue eyes flicked from Beth to Merle. "Good. That's good," he drawled. "Merle, I'm going to need to talk to you when you have the chance." The undertone of his voice clearly suggested that this talk would not be pleasant.

Carol put her hand on Merle's arm and smiled at Rick. "Please let me get some dinner into these two and let Merle get cleaned up first. I need him in here." Rick said OK and nodded his head at her. When he left she turned to Merle and gave him a half-smile. _Guess I owe ya for that one little mouse_, he thought. She turned to Hershel. "Let me fix you some plates," she said and moved out of the room. Hershel called to her, "Make sure you eat first."

Hershel and Merle studied Beth's sleeping form. Her face was less flushed and her breathing had evened though it still rattled in her chest. Her arm was tied to the side of the bed and the needle was secured with white tape. They didn't talk as they watched her sleep. Carol came in with two steaming plates of pork and beans, soda bread and two water bottles. She stayed while the men ate in silence then took their dishes back to the kitchen.

Hershel cleared his throat. He said, "Merle, sit down. We need to talk."

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Merle sat next to Hershel and the two watched Beth sleep. Hershel tented his fingers and rested his face in them. He took a breath to settle himself. "Beth's probably got pneumonia. She came down with bronchitis when you left. She wouldn't eat and she sat out in the rain all night hopin' you'd come back. Maggie and Glen risked their lives to get her the antibiotics we needed. That's where we are now." Merle silently ground his teeth. _Damn it little girl_, he thought. _I ain't worth this_.

Hershel continued, "Merle, Beth doesn't have a lot of life experience and that's my fault. Aside from the few surrounding small towns, she's never been off my farm. And that's because I was selfish. Maggie was determined to leave the house from an early age and if I tried to stop her she would have gone anyway. So I encouraged her to go to college and thankfully she came back."

"Beth is different, always eager to please family first. You've seen her light up when she sings. A good father would have encouraged her from a young age to attend a music academy in a big city, give her the career of her dreams. Instead I encouraged her to be a teachers' aide for a living so she would stay on the farm. It was my intention to keep her on the farm for the rest of my life." He looked at Merle who was still gazing at Beth lying on the bed.

He shifted his weight to reduce the pressure on his partial leg. "Our small church was very conservative. That's where she met Jimmy and it seemed by the age of sixteen that her life was set. Nice boy, a nice career, and she'd start a family of her own at the farm. She sang hymns at church on Sundays and I told myself that this life would make her happy, that this would fulfill her."

Merle took a deep breath. That kind of life seemed like a million years ago.

"Merle, what she knows of the gospel is what other people, me included, have presented to her. She's never gone out on her own, never learned other things, never analyzed and rarely questioned. Her faith is strong but it's immature. The problems you two have had recently are a result of her upbringing."

Merle's jaw continued to work as he gazed at Beth. She looked small and fragile and wasted. Hershel sighed and looked at Merle's profile. "She loves you Merle and she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. She lights up when she's around you. She'd never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Obviously she touched on a tender spot and you responded by hurting her back. You see what this reaction has brought about." Merle's eyes flicked to Hershel for a moment then back to Beth. He set his elbows on his knees and dropped his head.

"What you've done in the past and how you resolve it is obviously something that concerns her. If you're not comfortable discussing it with her then you need to set that boundary. I'm havin' this conversation with you because for all intents and purposes you and Glen are now my sons. I want both of you to know that as I'm here for my daughters I'm also here for you. I think that in this case if you or Beth would have come to me I could have prevented some heartache."

Hershel fell silent. Merle studied the floor, processing the information. They lapsed into silence and studied Beth for some time.

Merle's head spun violently and he needed it to stop. He cleared his throat. "The Governor," Merle rasped quietly. Hershel looked at him patiently. Merle continued quietly, his voice breaking. "I killed guys for him. Innocent guys." He stared at his handless wrist.

Hershel nodded slowly. He had expected as much. "Are you sorry for it son?" he asked. Merle looked at him. His eyes were haunted and Hershel could see the complex of emotions raging through his mind. "Yeah," Merle said bitterly before breaking his gaze. Hershel put his hand on Merle's shoulder. "That's all she needs to know." Merle nodded, his mind calming. Displaying a weakness was taboo for him, but the confession had released some of the pain he kept in a deep dark place. Getting Beth back was worth anything, even this.

Hershel moved his hands to the tops of his legs and exhaled then he rocked forwards and backwards and lifted himself out of the bunk with a grunt. "You stayin' with her tonight?" Hershel asked. Merle nodded.

Hershel arranged his crutches under his arms and took a step towards the door. He turned to look at Merle. "And Merle, one more piece of fatherly advice. Take a shower, you smell like zombie and cheap booze."

**I love writing Hershel because his diction is so distinct. Next we'll see what happens when Beth wakes up :)**


	21. Chapter 21- Awake

**Lovin' the Meth? Make sure you check out 'Daylight' by SOA Loving Mom. Look for Chapter 14 for the setup then check out Chapter 15 - Partridgeberry written by me for some seduction action. And if you want hot and heavy Meth action, check out the other chapter I wrote with her for Wanted, Ch 23- Bear in the Woods. Please PM and review!**

Awake

Merle stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror. _Aint no wonder she thought I was dead_, he thought as he appraised himself. He was normally fastidious in his grooming but now his eyes were sunken, his face was haggard and he had seven days of gray beard growth. His hair was greasy and had bits of leaves in it. Streaks of walker blood lined the creases of his face.

Carol had heated a pan of water to soften his beard. He plunged his face into it and relished the feel of the warm water loosening his skin. He scrubbed his face vigorously with his hands. It took him two razors to cut through the growth but when he finished his face was baby-bottom smooth again. He stripped and showered, scouring himself twice with soap and a rough rag. It felt good to get back into clean clothes.

He checked himself in the mirror again. His eyes still looked like shit but the rest of him was acceptable. _Only need about a weeks' worth of sleep to make it right_, he thought sarcastically_. I'll bed down in Missy's room. _

_Missy. Screamed like I was killing her, like she was dyin'_. _Like to ripped my heart out_. "You did this to her," Maggie had said.

_Yeah. I did. _He braced his arms against the sink and struggled to steady his breath.

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Beth opened her eyes to humming. She looked up to see Carol gently washing her free arm. "Hi," said Carol smiling. Beth tried to talk but her voice came out as a hoarse croak. "Here," said Carol, holding a water bottle up to Beth's lips. Beth drank thirstily, water running down her chin. Carol laughed and wiped her chin with the sponge. Beth looked around. She had an IV in her other arm and she was in Carol's old bunk. Carol smoothed her hair and said, "You look so much better. Are you cold?" Beth nodded and whispered "a little". Beth looked down to see that she was lying on top of the covers in her panties and bra.

Carol retrieved a clean set of clothes from the other bunk. She eased Beth into the pants then cut the gauze restraints and took the IV off of the hanger to help Beth get into a T-shirt. "Feel better?" Carol asked. Beth nodded. She was short of breath and her lungs were heavy but they weren't on fire any more. She turned to cough and brought up a copious amount of phlegm. "I think it's breaking up," said Carol. "You've been asleep for two days with antibiotics running into you. You've got pneumonia." Beth looked around the room. She noticed a chair set up next to the bed.

"Can I sit up?" whispered Beth. "Sure!" said Carol, helping her up and propping her with pillows. She could now see that a familiar bag was next to the chair. She dared to hope. "I dreamt Merle was here. I dreamt he was dead," she said, her face reflecting her confusion. Carol stroked her hand. "He is here," she said. "He's been sitting with you while you slept. He's getting breakfast right now while I wash you." Beth bit her lip and looked down into her lap. She didn't know what was worse - having him gone and not knowing what happened to him or having him close to her but not being able to have him at all.

Carol saw Beth's expression. "Hey," she said softly. "He loves you so much Beth. He hasn't left your side and he's worried to death. Try to have a smile for him OK?" Beth nodded. The last thing she wanted to do was smile but she wanted to see him, to know he was OK. She rested her head against the pillows and closed her eyes. When she opened them again Merle was sitting next to her in the chair reading a book, his feet propped on her bed frame. _I must have dropped off_, she thought.

She looked up at his profile and swallowed. He was so handsome with his greying hair, oft-broken nose and strong jaw. She hated herself for throwing him away. He felt her eyes on him and turned. When he saw she was awake he dropped the book and moved to sit on the side of her bed. He moved the hair away from her face and took in the dark rings under her eyes. "Hey little miss," he said gruffly. "You done sleepin'?"

Beth gave him a small smile and dug her fingernails into her palms to keep herself from crying. "You're OK," she said. His jaw tightened. "Yeah, I'm OK," he said stiffly. He was searching her face. She dropped her gaze, unable to smile anymore. She picked at the blanket in her lap and her face dissolved into tears. "You don't have to stay with me. You're not obligated to me anymore." She hated the breathy sob that followed.

His nostrils flared and he grabbed her free arm, pulling her into his chest. She felt his arms go around her and she couldn't imagine not feeling him again. "I'm so sorry for what I said", she cried into his warm neck. "I wish I could erase that whole day so I could have you back!"

Merle pushed her back so he could look at her. He put his face closer to hers and held her by her upper arms. "Don't. Don't you cry over me!" he growled, his voice breaking. Beth cried harder and she felt like her heart would burst. Merle shook her and made her look into his eyes. She saw the torture in them and watched them fill with tears. He inhaled loudly. "You don't cry over the likes of me," his voice came out loud and strangled. "I aint nothin'." A tortured sob escaped him, a loud, ugly unsettling sound. "I ain't nothin ya hear?!" he said explosively, his chest heaving and his face twisting in pain.

Beth looked at him in consternation. She caught her breath and watched two tears track down his face. She shook her head. "You're everything," she whispered unevenly. "You're everything to me." He flinched when she put her free hand on his face, then he covered her hand with his, closed his eyes and buried his bent forehead in her palm. He rested for a few moments then he slowly rubbed his cheek in her palm. He moved their clasped hands down to the blanket together. He dropped his head, not trusting himself to look at her.

Beth closed her eyes. She felt like a wrung out washcloth, she was so tired. She took a deep breath that only served to set off a strong coughing jag. She held the paper towel that Carol had given her up to her mouth and gasped for air between coughs. Her body racked until it shook the bed.

Merle ducked under the IV and carefully positioned himself to straddle her from behind. He pulled her hips gently backwards so her back rested against his chest so he could support her until the fit was over. When she caught her breath he handed her the water bottle. She gratefully took a drink and leaned back on him, sighing in exhaustion.

Merle tenderly arranged her hair and shirt and pulled the blanket over her. He wrapped his arms around her and her head relaxed into his neck. "You go to sleep now. We'll talk more later," he said softly.

She so badly wanted to sleep but she had to know. "Merle," she whispered. "Yeah angel," he said. Her voice was quiet and sad. "Are we still broken up?"

He exhaled as if he'd been punched. "No," he said forcefully. "We never was and we ain't never gonna be. Saying them things to ya was the stupidest thing I ever done. Next time you tell me to stick it straight up my ass."

Beth laughed sleepily and she settled into feeling every part of him that was touching her. Her eyes closed and she smelled him all around her. She felt his mouth on her hair. "Ah love ya," was the last thing she heard him say before she drifted into sleep.

**Up next: Beth gets antsy with bedrest.**


	22. Chapter 22 - Beth

Beth

Beth awoke that night to find Merle in the chair beside her. She ate some soup but had trouble standing on her own, so he carried her to the bathroom with the IV bag in his teeth. She smiled and tucked her head into his chest when they entered the full kitchen. She felt the others smiling at her back as Merle walked her through.

Maggie joined them and accompanied Beth into the bathroom. When they were done Merle carried her back to her cell. Maggie spent the next half hour with her holding her hand and making sure she was OK. Maggie apologized to Beth for almost shooting Merle, something that Beth knew nothing about. Beth struggled to stay awake but after about thirty minutes her eyes were closing on her own. She felt Maggie kiss her forehead then she sank into sleep.

The next morning she woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking. She was alone in the room. She rubbed her eyes, getting her bearings. She ran her hand back over her hair. _Ew. My hair is oily. And all tangled. Gross. I must look horrible._ She checked out the rest of herself. Her clothes had been changed once when she was sick but was she still wearing the same underthings she had on when she spent the night in the prison yard. She tentatively ran a hand over her skin. _Greasy. OMG, I can't stand this another minute! _ She put her nose under her shirt and took a whiff.

Merle came in with two bowls of oatmeal and a bottle of water. "Hey there sugar," he said. She smiled because she was so happy to see him. They ate their oatmeal together then he carefully maneuvered around her IV and sat beside her on the bed. He pulled her into his arms and they softly kissed for a long time. He snuck his hand under her shirt and she began to cry. "I smell bad," she said. "And my hair looks terrible." Merle made a show of sniffing her neck. "You's a little gamey," he said. "But not as bad as zombie." Beth cried harder. "I want a shower," she pouted. Merle sighed. "Can't help ya sugar. Yer dad said not til the IV comes out. Nobody cares what ya smell like." Beth snorted in frustration. "I care!" she said.

Just then Hershel entered the room and greeted them. Merle moved to stand by the wall as Hershel examined his youngest daughter. "Daddy, I need a shower," said Beth urgently. "Mmmm," said Hershel, listening to her chest. "Daddy!" said Beth. Hershel listened to her chest and moved her forward to listen to her back. Beth turned her head and talked over her shoulder. "I need a shower," she repeated. Hershel continued her exam, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Last he checked her IV. He looked at Beth. "The IV can come out in two days and that's when you can shower. Until then we'll keep you down here." Beth blew a raspberry in disappointment. She wanted to be in the room that she and Merle shared. "Daddy no," she said angrily.

"We're not taking any chances Beth," said Hershel sternly. "We could have lost you." Beth sat back with a flounce on her pillows. "So I'll just smell myself to death," she said, staring down at the blanket. Later Maggie came in with a washcloth, soap and warm water. She hung a blanket in front of the door for some privacy and did her best to wash Beth thoroughly and get her into a complete set of clean clothes. "Oh Maggie," Beth breathed. "My hair. I can't stand it," she looked at Maggie pleadingly. Maggie looked at her lovingly. "I know sweetie but there's nothing we can do right now." Beth cried in frustration.

That afternoon Beth insisted on walking herself to the bathroom as long as someone else carried the IV. She bristled at everyone's attentions, just wanting to do things on her own. That night Merle came in and told her several stories about that morning's hunt and what was going on around the prison. He moved into bed to hold her and she cried, "Don't look at my hair. Don't touch it." Her tears dripped down his chest and he calmed her by cupping her chin and kissing her. She laid her head on his chest and dropped into a deep sleep.

The next morning she regarded her father sullenly. "Daddy," she said. "No," he replied immediately. She cried but he would not relent. Later when Merle came in to hold her all she could think was how repulsive she was. "Don't," she said. "I can't even stand myself." He moved into her bed above her protestations. "Ya look better sick than my brother looks every day," he said drily. She lay on him stiffly, completely miserable. After he left she glared into the dark.

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When she woke the next morning she couldn't wait for Hershel to get there. Her IV was coming out today. She could shower! And sleep with her man! And...well you know. _God he looks so good, _she thought_. _Hershel came in midmorning and smiled at his youngest daughter. He examined her and said, "Looks like you're done with the IV," he said. He removed it and put a bandage over the hole.

"Now," he said. "Just because you have the IV out doesn't mean you are going back to normal activity. You still need to recover. That means nothing strenuous for another few days. You can only hold Judith if you're sitting down. No singing. You're not going on watch. There's plenty of things you can do to contribute while sitting down. No exertion, your lungs are healing." Beth smiled at him, nodding. Hershel looked at Merle meaningfully. "Merle, do I need to expound on what the definition of exertion entails?"

Merle shook his head curtly. "Daddy!" Beth gasped. Hershel drew his eyebrows together fiercely. "Beth, three days ago you were thrashing around on this bed delirious with fever. You are not moving me on this one." Hershel got up. "It's time for me to watch Judith," he said. "Feel free to shower." He shot a look at Merle. "Without help," he directed.

Beth was devastated. She looked at Merle. He pushed off of the wall towards the door. "Gonna get somebody to help ya," he said. "Merle," she cried piteously. He returned 15 minutes later with Carol. "I can help you!" said Carol brightly. Beth glared at Merle and he returned her gaze coolly. Merle helped walk her to the bathroom while Carol gathered clean clothes. Beth temporarily forgot her ire when she stood under the warm water and shampooed her hair twice then scrubbed herself thoroughly. The freshly washed clothes felt wonderful on her skin. She was close to normal. She scrubbed her teeth and sighed in satisfaction.

When she returned to the room she was delighted to see that the bed was stripped. Merle kissed her goodbye as he headed out for watch. "You'll be in our room tonight," he promised. She beamed at him. She knew that Merle hated rules and that there was no way he'd keep his hands off of her once they were in bed. That day as she watched Judith she thought about his powerful body dominating hers. She softly moaned and looked at Judith in her arms. "I want to make one of you someday," she said softly.

Merle had made it clear that the only way she was sleeping upstairs was if she ate all her meals, so all day she did her best to eat every bite. At dinner she cleaned her plate and looked at him expectantly. "You ready little miss?" he rasped. She nodded vigorously and they moved towards the stairs, bidding everyone good night. Their room was a welcome sight and she pulled her clothes off and scooted under the covers in gleeful anticipation.

A T-shirt and sweatpants sailed through the air and landed on top of her. "Put those on," Merle said gruffly. "I don't want to," she said petulantly. He looked at her steadily and asked, "Ya wanna sleep together? Put them on." She softened her eyes and looked up at him but he stood there with his arms crossed. She humphed and drug the clothes under the blankets to put them on. He remained in his boxers. When he slid in she joyfully sprawled against him. Her lips met his and her hand went to his chest. She kissed him searchingly "Please," she whispered. Her hand went to the front of his shorts and he grunted. She felt his cock jump under her fingers. She was amazed when he caught her wrist and pulled it away. "No," he said. "Yer gonna rest. We're not gonna fuck it up." She gaped at him. "Merle!" she cried.

"Ya need to sleep," he growled. She tried to rub her tits against his chest but he turned is back to her and soon he was snoring. She dropped off minutes later, still angry. When she awoke the next morning Merle was in the neighboring bunk and Beth felt very alone.

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Rick assembled the group at breakfast and made the schedule for the day. Merle leaned against the wall with his arms and legs crossed, coldly appraising him. When Rick was done and the group dispersed Merle pushed himself off the wall and walked slowly towards him. "Guess we got a conversation to finish," he said to Rick. Rick's bright blue eyes met Merle's. "Guess we do," he said.

They met in the prison yard and spent several minutes sizing each other up. Merle took off his prosthetic and tossed it on the ground, never taking his eyes off of Rick. "How much ya think a hand is worth Officer?" asked Merle, a snarl forming on his face. "'Cause it seems to me only a hand can pay for a hand." Rick set his holster on the ground. He sidled and replied, "It's your own damned fault you lost your hand. If you weren't a threat you wouldn't have been in that situation. And I'm tired of hearing about it so let's settle it."

Merle grinned at him. "With pleasure Officer," he said. They circled each other tensely. Merle made the first move, jabbing with his left and glancing off of Rick's ribs. Rick responded with a fist to Merle's cheek. They broke apart and resumed circling and punching. Soon both had bloody lips and cheeks. A crowd had gathered around them and Rick warned them all to stay out of it.

Merle rushed him and buried his shoulder into Rick's abdomen. They fell to the ground together and the back of Rick's head smacked the pavement. Merle took advantage of Rick's momentary confusion to pin his arms down to the pavement with his knees. He put his mutilated forearm across Rick's throat and pressed firmly then he pinned Rick's legs with his knees.

Merle smiled through a split lip. "Well, well," he said drily. "Seems the truth has prevailed." He reached with his left hand and pulled his knife from his belt. Blood mixed with saliva sprayed from Rick's mouth as he struggled to breathe. Rick wheezed, "You justify it however you want. We both know the truth." Merle agreed, "That we do. That we do Officer." He placed the edge of the knife at the base of Rick's right thumb. "And because I'm an agreeable sort I'll only take this thumb."

Merle's eyes shifted to his blade that was pressed against Rick's hand. Blood was running freely from the cut skin. He thought about the horrific pain of cutting off his own hand and the resulting infection and disfigurement. _Let him try to get around without this thumb_, he thought. _A little taste of his own medicine. Motherfucker won't be cockin' that big gun again or cuffin' people. Let's see him try to diaper that baby without it._

Unbidden an image of Beth holding Judith popped into his mind. Beth stayed in his mind as he thought of his own arm. If he were two handed he would have likely ignored her or seduced her and broke her heart for his own entertainment. He thought about her hand moving down his arm in the tower and her asking him to take off the prosthetic. That was the first time he had opened to her. Now she was just as much a part of him as that hand ever was.

He drew the knife away and raised his lip as he looked at Rick. "We're done," he snarled with his lip raised. He lifted his arm off of Rick's neck and pushed himself to standing, still maintaining eye contact. Rick coughed and eyed him suspiciously as he staggered to his feet. "I want this resolved now," said Rick. Merle looked at him coldly. "We're done," he repeated.

Merle put his knife back in the sheath and backed away. Rick retrieved his gun and put on the holster. Merle gave him a curt nod and turned to walk into the prison. Beth and Carol were standing side by side near the prison wall that shimmered with morning sunlight. Beth's hands were over her mouth and her eyes were wide. When Merle turned and saw her she walked quickly to him, hugged him and pulled him into the cellblock.

She wetted a clean towel and cleaned off his face and knuckles. She didn't say anything. Neither did he. Beth didn't know exactly what to do but she knew that he would not want to talk about it. She gave him a half smile and he pulled her into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they sat for a long time with their faces touching.

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Beth was dressed in the mandatory T-shirts and sweatpants and was already in bed awaiting Merle. She crossed her arms and looked sullenly at the cell door. Now she knew what he went through those nights they had to wait for condoms. This was torture.

She yawned. Today was her first day without a nap and she was tired. She tried to keep her eyelids open. What was keeping Merle? _I'll just close my eyes for a minute_, she thought.

When she woke up it was pitch black in the room. Merle was beside her in his boxers, deep asleep. The cellblock was silent and a soft moon glow came in through the windows. She looked at him. He always looked younger in his sleep. She sniffed his hair and it smelled like soap. She moved her lips down to gently brush them over the short stubble on his chin. His arms were thrown over his head and she trailed her lips from his nearest elbow through his armpit to his nipple and into his chest hair. She physically hurt with longing.

She didn't care if it put her back in bed for a week she needed him. She quietly pulled off her clothes and wedged her shoulder under his. She did the same with her hip. Then she gradually shoved underneath him until he rolled on top of her. _Oh God yes_, she thought. She wanted to feel his weight on her, to be pinned and dominated.

She moved her legs apart to straddle him and started kissing his neck while she moved her hips against him. She smiled when she felt him stiffen and pop out of the fly of his boxers. She lined up with him and gradually pushed him into her. _Mmmmmmmm, so good._ She slowly fucked him and when she began to get seriously aroused she put her hands on his ass and moved him deeper. She began to shake.

When Merle woke up he was on top of her and inside her, straining to drive deeper into her tightness. His heartbeat roared in his ears and he could hear himself grunting. Beth's legs were locked around his waist and she was frantically panting. Her nails dug into his back and she was matching his thrusts and whispering his name. He felt the orgasm blindside him, shocking him in its intensity. He sank his teeth into her neck and she stiffened and shuddered in ecstasy. He groaned and drove into her with all his strength, sweating and shaking. He groaned, "Jesus, Beth!" as he ejaculated and collapsed on top of her*. Her body was still twitching and jumping underneath him and she drew his mouth to hers with both hands. They fought for breath together, still entwined and rocking through the spasms.

When it was over he moved down to her breasts and teased her until she almost screamed, then he took her again. Sated they fell to the mattress and slept.

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They woke up to the sounds of morning activity downstairs. Beth smiled and stretched luxuriously and Merle ran his fingers through the curly blonde hair of her mound. He rumbled, "You have good dreams missy?" and she smiled, "You were in a lot of them." He moaned. "Musta been good dreams then."

She rolled on top of him and kissed him as he squeezed her ass. He looked at her and asked, "What about what we was talkin' bout before all hell broke loose girlie?" She rubbed her nose on his slowly and gently kissed his lips. He was talking about the proposal. Her violet eyes looked into his steely blue eyes and she smiled softly. She whispered, "I'll marry you someday. But for now I really like being dirty. Is that OK?"

"Yer askin' me ta be immoral," said Merle. "Like one a them wanton women in the bible." She smiled bashfully and ducked her face into his neck. She looked up at him and said with a hint of pride, "I guess I was wanton all along." He patted her ass in affirmation.

Later that day he thought about how he and Beth had started. It struck him that she had asked for the lessons but it turned out that she had been the teacher from the beginning.

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*Footnote: This marked the first time that Merle ever used Beth's given name instead of a nickname. He was to do this only a handful of times in his life - once again three years later when he formally proposed to her on the steps of their farmhouse, once each time that their four children were born, and once when they buried their father Hershel. The last time was when a failing 82-year old Merle lay in bed surrounded by his sons and daughters. Beth held his hand and her name was the last word Merle Dixon spoke.

**Thanks to everyone who has supported me with this story, particularly SOA Loving Mom and What Evil Lurks. I do not want to post really long stories so that's why I ended this one here. I will be writing MUCH more Meth for my own stories and in cooperation with other authors on their stories so check my author page. **


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